“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m sorry it was so hard for you, and that my existence ruined your life. I really, truly feel for you. I know you think it’s my fault, but it’s not like I asked to be born.”
“I know you didn’t, baby,” she says, sitting down beside me on the bed. “And I know I wasn’t always the best mama to you. But you’re doing real good for yourself, and I want you to know I’m proud of that.”
She reaches out to hug me, and I let her pull me in, squeezing her solid body to mine and inhaling the scent of tobacco and cheap perfume.
“Thanks,” I say, my throat suddenly tight. Compliments from my mother are as rare as jewels, and I’m not going to fuck it up by asking for more. Even though I’m relieved that she confirmed my suspicions, I’m still glad I gave Preston a Q-tip with my saliva when he asked. Just in case. After all, she was with two Darlings around the time I was conceived. Which means I couldn’t only be Preston’s cousin, but his aunt, which is somehow even more disturbing. I know I’m not, but still. A DNA test will put both our minds at ease.
twenty-nine
Harper Apple
I get the call on Thursday. Not only did the admission board accept my application, but I’ve been given a full scholarship for both semesters. I’m so happy that, after closing the blinds, I jump up and down and scream like a preteen girl who just won tickets to see her favorite boyband. And that’s not the kind of thing I do. But just this once, I let myself. I didn’t just win a contest on the radio for one night of fun, after all. I won a whole fucking year at a top school, one that can launch me to a top college.
After the excitement wears off, I send a text thanking Preston and then sink onto my bed, shaking with nerves.
I’m officially returning to Willow Heights.
It’s the longest weekend of my life, but on Monday, my first day of school rolls around at last. I’ve missed a month already, but it’s still too soon. I’m nervous as hell. I don’t know how I’m going to be strong enough to do this. At least Dawson and Royal won’t be there, so I only have to face the twins every day. After the night at the Slaughterpen, though, I know I’ll survive it. Another fucking thing I have Royal to thank for. I might never have been ready to see them if not for him, and I’m beyond grateful that my first time seeing them won’t be at school, where I might freak out publicly.
I get up early and put on my armor piece by piece, fixing myself until I look like one of the Dolce girls, perfectly made up and in designer clothes. Then I’m ready. This year, I don’t have a fancy bike. I have something better. I climb into the Escalade, feeling like a badass bitch as I roll up on campus. My stomach falls when I see a black Range Rover parked in the spot next to the one I was assigned. I sigh and climb out of my car—just sayingmy carmakes me feel giddy enough that he can’t ruin my mood.
“Why are you here?” I ask when Royal steps out of his car.
“It’s your first day.”
“And?” I ask. “I did what you wanted. I went to Slaughterpen. You were right. It helped. I admit it. Now you can gloat.”
“I’m not here to gloat,” he says, frowning down at me. I can see other students from the corner of my eye, lingering and watching us.
“Fine,” I say. “Then know that you made things right. I’m letting you off the hook. Now, can you please stop following me around and just let me live my life?”
“I already told you the answer to that,” he says, his voice a low rumble as he steps toward me, almost like he’s going to put his hands on my hips the way he used to, pull me in…
My fucking heart flutters at the thought, and I slam the door closed on that stupid bitch real quick. I take a deep breath, drawing on my patience, before addressing him again. “Shouldn’t you be off at college by now? Can’t your daddy buy your way into Yale or some other top school in the country? Or did you drop out to stalk me full time?”
“Someone should be watching you full time.”
I sigh. “I’m not going to kill myself, Royal. And trust me when I say having you around isn’t making things better. It’s making them worse.”
“Let me walk you in today,” he says, a challenge in his eyes. “If it makes things worse, I won’t show up tomorrow.”
We stand there for a minute, facing off. We both know he’s right. Royal showing up here for me will only make things better for me this year. He may have graduated, but he was the fucking king of this place for the past few years. No one’s going to mess with his girl.
But I’m not his girl, and I don’t want to pretend that I am.
Still, I’m not stupid enough to throw away what he’s giving me just to prove I can do it on my own. I learned the hard way that I’m not enough. On my own, I won’t survive this place. Dixie told me as much last year, on my very first day. I spent the whole of last year trying to prove her wrong, only to prove her right in the end. I need allies. And Royal isn’t just any ally. He’s Willow Heightsroyalty.
Sure, I could be a brat and make a big point of flouncing off and leaving Royal Dolce in the dust. Some petty part of me wants to, just to hurt his pride. But the stubbornly rooted part of me that survived, the instinct for self-preservation, is stronger than any silly notion of pride. This is a gift, just like he delivered my revenge to me as a gift. That time, he was showing his brothers that I am not to be trifled with. Now, he’s offering to show the whole school.
“Okay,” I say, pressing my nails into my palms until I know it’ll leave marks. “I’ll let you walk me in today, but only if you don’t show up every morning.”
“Fine.”
“And that doesn’t mean you can skip one day,” I say, glaring at him. “Make your point now, and that’s it.”
“Every other day.”
“Once a week.”