“I’m an idiot, okay?” she says, sniffling quietly. “I was just scared, and I didn’t want you to break up because you’re both my friends, and I didn’t want to lose either of you. I should have told you.”
“But you didn’t.”
She shakes her head, her blonde hair falling like a curtain between us. I’m glad I don’t have to look at her face.
“You didn’t care how much I had to lose,” I say. “Just that you had too much to lose if anyone found outyoursecret.”
“You didn’t lose anything,” she whispers.
I can’t begin to tell her just how wrong she is.
“Here’s a tip for the next time you pretend to give a fuck about someone other than yourself,” I say. “When you care about someone, you don’t fuck them over when they’re at their most vulnerable. And if you do fuck up, you tell them the first chance you get, and then you do everything in your power to make it right.”
“How can I make this right?” she whispers.
“By not being a selfish cunt,” I say. “Why don’t you start by telling your boyfriend you just hooked up with two people?”
“He broke up with me,” she says with a sniffle. “That’s why I’m drunk. And that’s not what I meant. How can I make it right with you, Royal?”
“You can’t,” I say. “It’s too fucking late for that, Lo. You don’t continue to use people until they find out you fucking betrayed them, and then try to apologize. You don’t keep secrets because you’re still getting something out of it, because you want to win prom queen. You’re a social parasite, Gloria. Just like your mother.”
“I’m not,” she cries. “Royal, it’s not like that! You’re my friend, my best friend. Before her, and more than her. I loved you, Royal. I still love you, even if it’s not the way she does.”
“Bullshit,” I say. “Neither of you know the meaning of that word, either.”
“I do,” she says quietly. “I know you won’t believe me, that you don’t think anyone can love you, but you’re wrong. If you’d let someone know you, they could love you.”
“I did let you know me,” I say. “Both of you. And you played me like a pair of black widows, winding me into your web. I’m the fucking fly that just sat there and let you trap me. That’s what I get for letting either of you close to me. I knew better. I don’t need friends. I have my brothers.”
“You have me,” she whispers. “You’d have Harper, too, if you wanted her.”
I have to laugh at that, but it’s an empty, bitter sound. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She shakes her head. “She didn’t break up with you because of it. She’d take you back. Go talk to her.”
“Don’t you think I’ve fucking tried that?”
“Then try something else.”
forty-four
Harper Apple
After a while, a couple opens the door, so I get off the bed and give them the room. I hear voices further down the hall, but there’s nothing for me here. I pull out my phone and see handful of texts from Preston. It’s time to get this over with.
I’m almost to my car when I hear someone say my name. I don’t turn. I’m too fucking tired of this drama to deal with more tonight. Hitting the button to unlock the Escalade, I hurry toward it, ducking my head against the rain.
“Harper.”
I don’t stop until his strong hand wraps around my upper arm, pulling me to a halt. I squeeze my eyes closed for a second, then turn back. Royal stands over me, silhouetted by the security light in front of the house and the rain slanting down in the glow. Then he steps closer. There’s something different about him, an intensity shimmering off him, that has my pulse pounding. I squeeze my hand into a fist, comforted by the weight of the weapon on my knuckles.
“Why are you running from me?”
I don’t answer. There is no answer. I know I’ll never get away, but I can’t stop trying.
He moves so fast, grabbing my shoulders and pulling me in. Before I know what’s happening, his mouth crashes down on mine. I cry out against him. He thrusts his tongue into my mouth, a rough claiming with no warning. His big hands move up to cradle my head, and his lips crush mine so hard our teeth collide.
I respond instinctively, eagerly, as if I’ve been waiting for this all my life. I open for him, submitting to him with a trembling relief that fills me with each possessive stroke of his tongue. Everything in my body ignites, my toes curling, my body swaying toward his, and heat licking between my thighs. I grip his arms, never wanting to let go. I want him to throw me down and fuck every bit of damage out of me. I want to open my legs and get the relief that only opening my skin has given me. My eyes flutter closed, and for a minute, I’m washed away by the hunger in his kiss, his need, his desire. The cold rain sliding down our faces cools the feverish heat that rises to my skin at his touch.