twenty-one
Harper Apple
I fight to keep from stumbling back at the force of the blow. I’ve always known it was coming, and yet, somehow it stuns me more than the fucking car bomb under Royal’s hood.
“What?” I manage, because yeah, I’m a masochist who needs to hear it again.
“I’ll get your shit out of my car and bring it by tonight,” Royal says.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I ask. “We have one fight and you’re ending this?”
“Yes.”
“You’re unbelievable,” I say. “You were just waiting for this all along, weren’t you?”
“Yes,” he says again, his voice emotionless.
“Wow. So all along, you were just waiting for an excuse to dump me. The first sign of a disagreement, and you go running.”
“It wasn’t a disagreement,” he says. “You took their side. I knew you would. But that was always going to be the end.”
I fight back an incredulous laugh. “What—is this another one of your tests? Did you actually bomb your own car to see if I’d choose you over them?”
A flicker of annoyance shows in his face. “I wouldn’t damage my car for you.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “You’re wrong,” I say. “I didn’t take their side. I chose you. I chose to fight what you’re doing because it hurts you, Royal, not them. I barely know them. But I know you. And I know this isn’t good for you. I know you’re better than this. That you can be better.”
“You don’t know me,” he says flatly. “Or you’d know that’s a bullshit excuse for what you just did.”
“You know what I think, Royal? I think you’re scared that you actually feel something for once in your life. That you’re scared that I understand you and that I still care about you even though you don’t think you deserve it. You’re a big strong man who likes to be in control, and it pisses you off that you can’t control any of this. You can’t handle that, and this lame excuse is the best you can come up with for bailing on the best thing that’s happened to you in years.”
The corner of his mouth tugs up in an indulgent smile, and he reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “You give yourself too much credit, Cherry Pie,” he says. “The only thing that happened to me is that I found another slut who spread her legs and let me fuck her in all three holes until I got bored of them all.”
“You’re a bad liar, Royal.”
It’s not true, though. His words cut deeper than I’ll ever let him know.
“And you were a pretty plaything,” he says, his smile tender, almost apologetic. “But that’s all you are. It was fun seeing what I could get you to do, but once I knew you were desperate enough to stoop to any level for my pleasure, it was only a matter of time. You’re all used up and worn out now. And I don’t fuck loose girls, so I won’t be seeing you again.”
He turns and walks away, leaving me seething mad on step. I want to yell after him, but I won’t be quite that pathetic, so I turn and slam into the house instead. I hope he fucks all three of the Waltons, and they each give him a new disease.
I’m so mad I want to go pummel the bag in the basement for the next five hours, picturing Royal’s face as I do it. But then I remember the reason for the whole breakup fight, and I know I can’t ignore it and punch my problems away. I need to warn people.
And fuck, my phone is in my bag, which is in Royal’s wrecked car back at the school. Which means I don’t have anyone’s number.
I sit down and boot up the ancient desktop computer in the living room. It takes fucking forever, and I’m about to claw out of my own skin before it connects to the internet. But at last, I pull up the OnlyWords app, which is as good as texting. I can do this. I message Dixie, asking if she knows Lindsey or has her messenger handle.
She doesn’t.
Next, I ask for Colt’s handle and message him, not even wanting to know what he’d think of me now. I’ve been fucking Royal Dolce, his biggest enemy, for months. Last time I saw him, Royal was my biggest enemy, too. Now, I’m not so sure. Yes, I want to punch his teeth out right now, but that doesn’t mean everything else went away. I know he’s fucked in the head, and I feel for him, but what he’s doing right now… There’s no excuse for that.
Colt doesn’t answer.
I remember the Silver Swan’s request, so I message him, too. No answer there, either.
I wrack my brain, trying to think of who else to contact. They could be on their way right now. I need to do something, but again, I’m stuck. I don’t have a car here. After I didn’t bring Blue’s mom’s car home for a full night and day the last time I borrowed it, I don’t think they’ll be lending it again anytime soon. Even my bike is still at school, locked up on the bike rack.
All I have is this stupid app. So, it’ll have to do.