Still, it’s a dick, and it’s hard not to look at it. It’s a pretty damn nice dick, if I’m honest, long and full like Royal’s. Even though I don’t jump in to give Jolene a hand, he keeps watching me, his eyes almost daring me. I stare back at him, refusing to drop my gaze, even though I can feel my cheeks flush when he rolls his hips just a little, pushing his dick up higher, like he’s trying to draw my attention, so I’ll lose our staring contest.
He should know I’m not afraid of a little dick. Or a big dick, as the case may be. These boys think because they’re alphas, because they’re huge and dominant, that every girl is going turn into a giggling idiot or a blushing virgin when they get crude. The sight of a dick stopped shocking me before I reached puberty, and fuck if I’m going to be intimidated by one now.
We pull up at the quarry, and Jolene climbs off his lap, blocking our line of sight and interrupting our stare down. I climb out my side of the car and face Baron, who’s just gotten out the passenger door. “So, you going to fill me in on my orders, or just let me fuck up so you can publicly shame me when I break the unspoken rules I didn’t know existed?” I ask.
He grabs my wrist, his eyes intense behind the lenses of his glasses. “For one, you’ll stop fucking with Royal if you know what’s good for you,” he says, dropping his voice so the others won’t hear as they get out their side of the car. “And trust me when I tell you not every girl gets that warning.”
“What makes me so special?”
“That’s the fucked up part. You’re nothing special at all, are you?” he asks, cocking his head and studying me like he thinks I should be easy to figure out. With as many women as he fucks around with, he should know that none of us are.
“Not a bit,” I say, giving him a tight smile. “So just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it if it means you’ll leave me alone.”
“Oh, now you’re going to obey?”
“For tonight, maybe. Depends on what you ask.”
He smirks and lets his eyes rake over me. “Even if you offered me what I want, I couldn’t take it.”
“Because I’m Royal’s toy,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“For tonight, maybe,” he says, mimicking my words. “But not if you keep this shit up.”
I grind my teeth and glare at him. “How can I stop when I don’t know what I’m doing wrong?”
He leans in, so close I could stand on tiptoes and kiss this beautiful enigma of a boy. “That’s the beauty of the game,” he whispers, his warm breath caressing my lips in the cold night.
I’m not sure he’s ever talked to me before besides to compliment my street art. He talks to his brothers about me like I’m not there, or he talks to me in this weird way that’s really directed at them. I don’t know what to make of him. Royal’s a mystery, but he’s a mystery that’s in your face, that you can’t help but want to solve, one that you obsess over when you can’t sleep at night. Baron’s a mystery you didn’t see at all, one you didn’t know needed solving. And Duke, well, he’s a mystery who pretends he’s already been solved.
The more I know about these boys, the less I know them. It’s maddening.
We circle the car and meet Duke and Jolene, who’s all flushed and looks so dazed you’d think she had an orgasm just touching Duke’s penis. I glance around for Royal, only catching a glimpse of his back as he strides toward the party.
Okay, then. Fuck him, too.
“Guess I’ll go mingle,” I say. “Considering I didn’t even want to come here, and now I have no reason to be here, I’m a bit confused, but I’ll live.”
Baron grabs my wrist again, his grip strong but not punishing. His hands are big and warm around my bare wrist, almost comforting. After talking to him and being near him, I can feel that pull that I feel toward Royal, though in this case, it’s a bit different. Mostly it’s curiosity, the thrill of finding a mystery that hasn’t been solved. I’m starting to see how a girl could fall for him if he wasn’t torturing her.
“Go get him a beer, and say you’re sorry,” he says, his voice slow and quiet, like he’s explaining this to a child.
“Sorry for what?” I ask, though I’m just being a brat. I know what I did. When he doesn’t answer but just keeps me fixed in that dark gaze like he’s waiting for me to comprehend, I sigh. “Fine.”
I jerk my hand, but his grip tightens instantly, pinning my wrist for just a second, like he just wants to see me squirm. But it’s over quick enough that anyone watching from the party couldn’t tell what’s going on. I know, though. He wants me to know I have no choice, no power. That he controls me.
He lets me go, and I turn and walk away, annoyed by his games. I’m a straight shooter. I like to know what I’m dealing with so, like it all laid out before me, so I can strategize and plan. If the rule is, there are no rules, I’m down with that. I just want to know that, so I know how to win.
Trusting that Jolene is more than willing to participate in anything Duke has in mind, I leave her and scope out the situation on my own. Easing my way through the smattering of kids still lingering near the cars pulled up alongside the dirt road, I take in the scene. There are two big bonfires, one set up too close to the edge of the giant pit where they extracted rocks or gravel or whatever the fuck they take out of a rock quarry. The swimming hole is off to the right, out of sight in the darkness, but I know the path there as well as any other Faulkner kid. There’s only so much to do in a small town and even less of it that’s free.
I duck some football players who might drag me to Royal before I’m ready. Even though he’s being a moody asshole, I’m grateful that I have a minute alone to get my bearings. I like to know what situation I’m walking into before I’m balls deep in it. The guys head toward the fire to the right, so I go left, working my way into the crowd gathered at the smaller bonfire, picking out a few familiar faces. Cans of cheap beer and red Solo cups circulate. The air is heady with marijuana smoke and the bitter tang of tobacco. Someone has a truck backed up close to the fire, the doors open and music spilling out, two kegs in the back. Some guys stand up there filling cups and handing them down. A few girls dance drunkenly in the firelight.
I spot Maisy Gunn talking to a couple art geeks by that fire, and even though we were never friends, relief floods through me at the sight of her familiar face. This isn’t just a WHPA party. There are Faulkner kids here. Which means I’m not alone, the only sheep in a pack of hungry wolves. In fact, as I look around, I realize that most of these kids are familiar from FHS. This is their party, their bonfire. The football players went the other way, which means that’s the Willow Heights’ fire.
Way to make my first step a misstep. But hey, if Royal gets pissed I’m over here, it’s his own fault for not telling me. He should have known I wouldn’t chase after him, that when I saw him going one way, I’d go the other. I didn’t know this would be another school’s party, and even though they’re his rivals, I’m from this school. These are my people, even if I don’t know most of them, since FHS is way too big to know everyone in one grade, let alone the whole school.
I’m already close enough to the kegs to get a beer, so I step up to the line. I hold up two fingers after catching the eye of one of the guys serving. “Ten or skin?” he shouts over the music.
“What?”