Did it feel like ropes that rubbed away your skin and down to the bone,
Or like helplessness that made you hate yourself so deep
You had to become someone else
Just to survive
To you?
What did it look like to you, little girl?
Did it look like pitch blackness when you woke in the night,
Gripped tight in terror’s teeth,
Or like the stars behind your lids when they kicked out your teeth
To you?
What did it smell like to you, little girl?
Did it smell like blood
and vomit
and dirt
and spit
and piss
and worse
To you?
Little girl, I know vulnerable,
And soon
you will
too.
twenty
Harper Apple
1:13 AM: BadApple: I know it’s late and I’m really sorry 2 bother u, but I need help
1:15 AM: BadApple: I know u don’t owe me anything. IOU more than I can ever repay and I haven’t properly thanked u and I’m sorry 4 that 2.
1:20 AM: BadApple: Ur probably sleeping n u wont get this until morning, and that’s fine I don’t want 2 wake u but I don’t have anyone else to ask. I’m sorry.
1:22 AM BadApple: guess it helps if I tell u I got picked up by the cops. I just need u 2 come get me out in the morning or whenever. They r about 2 take my phone. They said bail is $100 but my mom wont pay it n they wont let me go get it. I have it. I can pay u back.
1:31 AM: BadApple: I’m sorry I haven’t given u what u wanted yet and I know I fucked up, so if u need 2 get someone else to do this I understand. Or if u want payment in another way, that’s fair n I shouldn’t say I wont do it bc IOU whatever u ask n more.
1:33 AM: MrD: Christ, stop blowing up my phone. So you got arrested, big deal. I’ll bail you out in the AM. I don’t need anyone else bc you’re going to give me what I asked for.