“No more trips to Green Meadows,” he says. “That asshole’s lucky we let him go to this school at all. Now he’s plotting against us, and you probably bought his sob story and jumped right in to help.”
Paranoid, much?I think to myself. But this isn’t the time to smart off to him. The whole school revolves around his family, so why would he think this is any different?
“No,” I say, all my bravado gone. “We’re not planning anything against you. We’re just two losers hanging out being losers.”
I know they fucked up Colt’s family, and what it cost him, what he’s been through. At least, I know a little. It’s more than enough. I’m not having any blame for this fall on him. If that means we can’t be friends, then I’ll give him up. This is why I don’t have friends in the first place. They’re a liability, and this time, it’s not me who will get hurt. I can’t have that. It’s one thing to risk myself, but I won’t put someone else at risk.
“Tell me what you’re doing with him,” Royal says slowly. “If you’re not fucking him, then why are you out there with him every day?”
“Because you make my life hell in here,” I admit, my throat tightening, as if it knows that letting out the truth will give him ammunition. “I tried to follow your rules, but I’m just not good at them. So I took myself out of your path of destruction, okay? That’s why I’m out there. To keep from being where I am right now.”
Royal blinks at me for a few seconds, like he can’t comprehend that I might not want to be a part of his twisted games, that I really was just trying to escape him, that I don’t want to be around him. That my main reason for going out to the bleachers isn’t to be with Colt, but to avoid being with him.
Maybe my dry pussy convinced him, though, because he drops my hands and steps back. “If I see you with him again, you’ll both pay,” he says before turning to walk away. “And take a fucking shower once in a while. You smell.”
*
She Smells
She smells like the ocean
Battering the New England coastline
Like hurricane season
Where every storm is named Harper.
She smells like the memory
That comes to your mind
When you hold a seashell to your ear
And close your eyes.
You’re there again—
Sand sticking to salt on skin
The heat of sun and burn on your shoulders
And the laughter of your sister echoing
…echoing…
Before you open your eyes
And remember the rush of the water
Was only the blood in your ears.
She smells wild like wind over icy waves
That pound the shore until you can’t hear
Memories or echoes
Or screams.