I hold onto him, shaking though I’m no longer cold. He knew what I needed before I did. He knew, and he gave it to me. If I lost him, I’d die. He’s all I have left. All I want.
For a long time, neither of us moves. My heart is thawed, now racing in my chest. The heavy, hard rhythm of Devlin’s heartbeat bolsters me, makes me remember that I’m his, that we’re one. That we’re alive. Together.
Outside the car, the rain has stopped at last. The world is quiet, the night swallowing everything but us, the little world we’ve made together. I don’t want it to ever end, but I know that too soon, I’ll have to face reality again.
“What am I going to do?” I whisper at last.
“We’ll think of something,” Devlin assures me, squeezing me tighter against him.
“It’s too late for that,” I say. “We’re out of time, Devlin. My brother spared you tonight, but my dad won’t. He’s going to kill you. And don’t say you’re not scared. I mean it, Devlin. Your life is in danger.”
“Do you have anything on him?” Devlin asks.
“Maybe,” I whisper, my heart thudding hard in my chest. I know what I have to do, something a thousand times worse than protecting Devlin when my brother held a guy. I have to do the right thing.
“What is it?” Devlin asks.
“They’ll kill me,” I say. “You know what happens to people who squeal.”
“Then I’ll die with you,” Devlin says, holding me harder. “It’s worth it to have had the time I had with you. I told you I’d die for you, and I meant it.”
“Let’s do it,” I say impulsively.
Devlin lifts his head, his eyes searching mine. “Do what?”
“We live and die for each other now,” I say, taking his hand and linking my fingers with his. “You said we were part of each other now. Nothing can tear us apart, Devlin. Not even death. So, let’s die for each other.”
twenty-nine
Crystal
Devlin looks at me for a long moment. “What do you mean, Crystal?”
“They’re going to kill you,” I say. “I’m not living without you, Devlin. I’m in this to the end. I’m yours, forever. My life ends the day yours ends.”
“You want to… Die?”
“No,” I say, my heart lurching at the thought. I couldn’t do that even if I wanted to. I have other people to think about now.
“Then what?”
“Devlin,” I say slowly. My heart is hammering so hard I can barely breathe, or swallow, or even think. “Can we sit up?”
“Sure,” he says, lifting himself from me. He helps me sit, maneuvering in the tiny back seat until we’re both sitting. Then he wraps the blanket around us both, pulling me against his side and keeping an arm around my waist. I take comfort in the solid sensation of his strong body beside mine. He will protect us.
“I didn’t mean we’d really die,” I say. “But we could die to the rest of the world.”
For a minute, he doesn’t speak. Finally he asks, “How do we do that?”
“We can run away,” I say, my words coming faster as the idea grows, strengthening more each moment. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it earlier. That’s the Dolce solution to everything. It’s not always the right solution, but this time, it’s the only option. This is the last Dolce tradition I’ll ever honor. “But we have to do more than that. They have to think I’m dead. If I just ran away with you, my family would hunt us down. They’d find me.”
Devlin lets out a quiet scoff. “I bet they would. The mafia’s probably better at finding people than the FBI. That’s why they have witsec, right?”
“But if they thought we were dead…” I search his eyes, my heart drumming in my chest. “Like Baron said, anything can look like an accident.”
“Crystal…” Devlin starts, then shakes his head. “Where would we go?”
“Anywhere,” I say. “California. Canada. Mexico. Somewhere far from here and far from New York.”