“You know my family won’t let me wear it,” I say.
“Even if they would, Devlin wouldn’t,” he says. “I’m surprised he didn’t rip it off you.”
I swallow again, trying to quell the ache in my throat at the mention of his name. I wonder when I’ll stop wanting to cry at the thought of him. I force a chuckle, even though it twists in my gut like a knife. “He’s pretty possessive, isn’t he?”
Colt laughs at that. “You do bring out his crazy side.”
“You going to class?” I ask, nodding in that direction.
“Nah,” he says. “I think I’ll go sit on the bleachers and lick my wounds. Join me if you change your mind? I’ve got a medical card and the goods to make you forget your troubles.”
“Thanks,” I say. The thought of sitting out on the wet bleachers in the chilly December sun sounds a thousand times better than going to class. I know that Colt would make me laugh, even if he’s not laughing on the inside. Getting high would lessen the ache for a minute. I know it would be easy and fun to flirt with him, and it would take my mind off Devlin. But I also know I need to stop all of this now, the way I should have a long time ago. I’m not just losing Devlin. I’m losing Colt and even Preston.
But like King said, this is how it has to be. This is what a Dolce does. This is what we get. Family. Money. Status. Power.
It should be enough. That’s what everyone wants, what they work their whole lives to achieve. Most people are happy if they have even one of those things. We have it all.
And I’d trade it all in a second.
*
I can’t bear the thought of the cafeteria at lunch. Yes, I’m a coward. I don’t want to see Devlin, but it’s more than that. I don’t want to see the other girls staring at me, trying to figure out what I have that they don’t. I don’t want the attention, the jealousy, the curiosity, or even the admiration. I just want to be some nameless, faceless girl in the crowd like Mabel. How has she achieved this magic?
I shoot the girls a text and head out to the football field, minus the invitation from Colt. It seems as good a place as any. As I walk across the dead grass under the flat grey sky, I can’t help but think it’s a fitting atmosphere. I don’t know if either of the girls are speaking to me anymore, and I can’t really blame them if they aren’t. Guess I’m about to find out.
I sit on the wet metal bleachers in the damp air and wait. When my friends appear, an odd pair of cousins walking side by side, Dolly in one of her Barbie-pink outfits and Dixie in her goth get-up, I can’t help but smile. But the relief is quickly overshadowed by nerves. What if they’re coming to tell me we can’t be friends? I know exactly how quickly the tables can turn. One day I’m the Darlings’ favorite; the next I’m friendless and alone.
“The weather is your friend today,” Dolly says, clambering up onto the bleachers in her impossible heels and dropping down beside me.
“How’s that?” I’m too cautious to hope for anything, even hearing her normal tone.
“It looks like it’s gonna rain real soon,” she says, scooting down to make room for Dixie. “At least it’s cooperating enough for you to hide during lunch.”
“That obvious?” I ask.
“I don’t blame you,” she says. “This school is cannibalistic.”
“Are you mad at me?” I blurt out, looking from her to Dixie, who hasn’t said a word.
“I was gonna be,” she says. “If you were hiding from us.”
“Why would I hide from you?”
“You skipped science this morning,” she points out. “But since you texted about lunch, I’ll let it slide.”
“Thanks,” I say, swallowing hard before turning to Dixie. “And you?”
“No,” she says, sounding as dejected as the morning after our shame. “He’s not my boyfriend. Why should I be mad?”
“For that matter, why would I be?” Dolly asks.
“I know you like them,” I say. “You have a right to be mad.”
“You didn’t do anything,” Dolly says. “You didn’t ask for the necklaces, did you?”
“No,” I concede. “But still.”
“They said they were doing away with the Dog, but they forgot to get the collar and ears back,” Dixie says.