“You don’t think I went through shit to get here?” I ask, lifting my chin and staring back at Baron. “If I’m on top, it’s because I fucking earned it. Believe me, I paid my dues.”
“She’s right,” King says. “She did what it took to earn their respect. Not just the Darlings, either.”
I’m not sure it’s respect that the other girls at Willow Heights are giving me. As we arrive at my locker, I notice other girls watching, their jealousy so apparent its almost palpable. Everyone knows who gets me coffee every morning. Everyone knows that Devlin doesn’t do things like that—or he didn’t before me. I may not have a ballerina necklace, but I’m the only girl the Darlings are showing favor right now.
“And maybe I’m right about not fighting them,” I say, turning the combination on my locker.
“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” Royal says, but it sounds more like a challenge than a suggestion.
“I didn’t join them,” I say, relieved to pull open my locker and hide behind the door. “I just accepted the way things are.”
That’s not exactly true. I’m changing things from the inside. But no one else knows I’m still seeing Devlin, so I can’t tell them that. Royal caught me coming in that night, and he obviously doesn’t believe it when I deny my relationship with his enemy, but at least he hasn’t told the others.
When I open my locker, the coffee is there like always. I can’t hide it. I don’t know what else to do, so I get out my books and the cup like it’s perfectly ordinary, like I don’t notice Royal’s hands fisting at his sides. I’ll have to talk to Devlin again.
“You’ll be okay with just the girls at lunch?” King asks.
“Fine,” I say, closing my locker and smiling up at my brother.
“Try not to fall on any dicks on the way,” Royal grumbles.
“Try not to run into the counselor on the way,” I shoot back. “She might actually, you know. Help you.”
“If you want to help me, give me back my sister.”
“I’m right here,” I say, exasperated by this bickering that never ends.
Royal works his jaw back and forth. “Yeah,” he says at last. “You are.” Then he turns and walks off.
I’m not the only one who’s changed the minds of the other students at Willow Heights. Since the day he went ballistic on Devlin in the hall and screamed at me about the coffee, everyone treats him like a ticking time bomb. They move out of his way as he passes, shying away from him and casting wary glances his way.
I sigh and turn to King with a tight smile. “I’ll be fine at lunch. He obviously needs you with him. I’ll see you after school.”
He leans down to plant a quick kiss on top of my head. “Have a good day, Crys.”
Guilt flares inside me as I make my way into class. I feel for my oldest brother, stuck in the middle of all this. As the buffer between Royal and me, he bears the brunt of Royal’s anger. All he wants is to protect us both, but he can’t. He’d let me date a Darling if it meant I was safe at this school, but that would bring Royal’s wrath down on me tenfold. I’m the one in the wrong, the one hurting my brother so I can selfishly hold onto something of my own, something that’s already doomed.
I’m the problem. I need to just stop before it goes any further, before it all blows up in my face. Before my family decides to kill Devlin.
Because that’s what Royal would want, and as I remember their callous laughter about taking the life of some innocent worker at the construction site just to frame Preston’s dad, I have no doubt that they’d do it. Devlin’s not just working for the wrong person. He’s fucking the Dolce Daughter, the girl they still see as sweet and innocent.
I take my seat next to Devlin, and my heart rips slowly down the middle at the knowledge of what I have to do. I don’t even know where to begin. Do I do it quick and callous, like I did when he came home from jail? Or do I slowly pull away, making myself unavailable until we’ve grown apart? Which one will hurt him less?
“Stop putting coffee in my locker, Devlin,” I say. “I mean it. Royal can’t handle it.”
“Okay,” Devlin says, his hand finding my thigh under the table.
I want to melt into it, to whimper with pleasure as his warm palm skims over my skirt, grazing along the thick fabric with a jealous familiarity. My skirt rises just an inch, but I can feel the air on the newly bared skin above my knee like a whisper from his hot lips. The dance, thetease, makes me yearn for more until it settles into a heavy ache between my thighs. I want his fingers on my skin, under my skirt. I want his rough, possessive touch, his commanding hands that demand my surrender.
How can I tear myself from this boy, the one whose touch brings me to life and makes me blaze like a wildfire? How can I choose to douse that fire instead of letting it run free?
I have to, though. I have to because the fire he’s started is burning up my twin, continuing his torture. I’ve always put my family first, before my own needs. Why should this be any different? What made me think that this time, just once, I could have something for myself?
*
The cafeteria is buzzing with excitement as we settle in at our table at lunch. It feels empty with just the three of us, but kinda nice, too. I like hanging out with just the girls, not having to censor what I say.
“Anything we need to know about?” I ask, nodding to the rest of the room. My back is to them, and though I know Devlin wouldn’t hurt me, I don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling jumpy when the other Darlings are in a room with me.