And I remember some girls saying I let the Darlings fuck me in the bathroom. If they heard that somewhere, I guarantee they didn’t keep it a secret. Which means my brothers probably heard those rumblings as well. I’ve been struggling so hard here, just trying to keep my head above water, that I haven’t thought about how the swirling rumors were getting back to my brothers.
“I’ve only ever been with Devlin,” I say. “I’ve never done anything else with anyone else. I’ve never even touched another guy. I swear.”
“Bullshit,” Royal growls.
I look up. “What?”
“You kissed Colt at Homecoming,” he says. “I saw you. Or did you forget I was there while you were busy fucking his cousin? Why should we believe anything that comes out of your mouth? You were lying about all of it, weren’t you?”
Damn it. Why did I lie about liking Colt? Royal could always read me like a book. He probably knew I was lying the whole time. And he paid for that lie, more than I ever will, more than I can even imagine.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “You’re right. Colt kissed me, and I guess I kissed him back. But we went to that dance as friends, like I told you. We were friends.”
“And you were fucking Devlin.”
“No,” I say firmly. “That happened after. You can ask the twins.”
“We already know that part,” King says. “What happened in the locker room the day the coach asked us to stay late and the rest of the team went in?”
Shit. The coach. The coach who walked away when he saw me with Preston, the one who refused to help. That asshole intentionally kept my brothers from coming in, knowing they’d help me.
I shake the thought away. I don’t know that it was him. Maybe they’d already planned to hold my brothers. Maybe Preston told another one of the coaches when he left me there alone and went out to watch the practice from the sidelines, fuming about his broken arm. Did I really end his football dreams? And why is he so desperate to get out of this town where he’s royalty, a town that will all but belong to him one day?
“Why should we believe her, anyway?” Royal asks.
“Fine,” I say with a shrug. “I don’t have to tell you guys anything. What I do with my body is none of your fucking business. I don’t interrogate you every time you pump and dump some poor girl. And I bet it’s a lot more than a football team’s worth. So if I want to let every guy on the team line up to drop his coin in my slot-machine ass, as you so succinctly put it, that’s my choice.”
“I’ll believe you, Crys,” King says. “Tell me the truth, and I won’t question whatever you say. I just want to hear it from you once.”
“Why?” I ask, crossing my arms and glaring at him. “Why does it matter?”
“Because I want to know you’re safe here. That you’re okay. You looked pretty bad when you came to the hospital that night. And yeah, I know we were all busy worrying about Royal, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t notice.”
“I’m fine,” I say, squeezing myself tighter, my throat aching at his kindness. I can handle Royal’s anger better than the sympathy and concern I see in King’s eyes. If I tell him, he’ll hurt Preston more. And Preston will hurt me more—or worse, he’ll hurt them. And it will go on and on and on, until someone dies. And even then, it might not stop. Like Preston said, this has gone beyond pranks and petty parking lot quarrels. Lives are being altered irreparably. One look at Royal is proof of that.
“Did Devlin hit you?” King asks.
“No,” I say. “He never hurt me.”
“Did he rape you?” Royal asks.
“No,” I say, shaking my head vehemently. I’m not sure how to tell them without it coming off as worse than it was. Even Devlin thought it was something other than what it was. It was never like that for me. I never said no to him. I said no to Preston, to Colt, to the idea of the team even touching me. Devlin asked if that was what I wanted, if I wanted him to fuck me there, and I told him I did. Didn’t I? I remember wanting to tell him yes. Sure, part of it was fear that if it wasn’t him, it would be them, but when he wrapped his arms around me, blocking me from their view, I felt him protecting me. He hadn’t hurt me. He’d claimed me, told the whole world that I was his. And I had wanted that.
I had wanted it because that was the moment when I knew that he actually cared about me. That I had won, as fucked up as that sounds. I’d been trying to get him to fall in love so that I could hurt him. And that was the moment when I knew I could. When he’d protected me, marked me as off-limits to everyone in the school, even his cousins.
I think it was the moment he realized he cared, too. He took me home, cleaned me up, took care of me. He even made sure I got off, since I didn’t in the locker room. He drove me around, risked himself, went against his family to help me find Royal. And I still broke his heart.
A knock on the door startles me out of my thoughts. King doesn’t move. He’s watching me, waiting. After a moment, Royal goes to the door. Carmen hands in my purse. “Everything okay?” she asks, batting her eyes at him.
“Fine,” he says, pushing the door closed in her face.
He hands me the bag. “Get yourself together.”
“Why do I have to look the way you guys want me to?” I ask.
“Because you’re a Dolce,” Royal says. “Get used to it. Mom doesn’t sit around the house in a bathrobe with unwashed hair. You know why? Because she was raised with more class than that. We may not have much else, but we have that. Now, put on your makeup, or I’ll put it on for you.”
“Fine, since I don’t want to look like Picasso painted me, I’ll put on the damn makeup,” I snap. “I still don’t get why you guys care so much.”