I furrow my brow. “You mean like that slasher film, I Know What You Did Last Summer?”
My mom shakes her head, looking confused.
“What?”
I merely close my eyes for a moment, willing my headache to go away.
“No, it’s nothing. Go ahead.”
Nanette sniffs.
“I know that you and Ed are lovers, Susie. I knew it the moment I walked into that apartment.”
I gasp.
“But, how could you know?” I sputter. Then my mouth snaps shut because I’ve as good as admitted it now.
Mom waves her hand, merely shrugging. “It was obvious. You were practically glowing and the two of you were so comfortable around one another too.”
I stare at her.
“That doesn’t mean anything. I mean, we have been occupying the same apartment for the last three weeks.”
But Nanette merely shrugs.
“No, but I saw used condoms in the trash when I went to use the bathroom. It just confirmed what I already suspected.”
I stammer, my cheeks going hot.
“But maybe I’ve been having boys over! Or maybe Ed has a girlfriend!”
She rolls her eyes. “No, darling. Ed is making love to my little girl. There’s no use hiding it. Why hide it in fact? It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re a young girl and he’s a virile older man. If anything, your relationship is to be expected.”
Now, I’m stunned. I open and close my mouth a hundred times, struggling to find the words to say.
Finally, I blurt out, “It’s not what it looks like,” I try in one last attempt at plausible deniability. Nanette merely shrugs.
“It’s always what it looks like, darling. You’re sleeping with my high school boyfriend and that’s that.”
My face grows hot. “Okay, yes, but Ed and I are in a committed relationship. We care about each other. Honestly, I’d even say we’re in love, it’s that serious.”
But this is where Nanette’s female instincts take over. She gets a sharp look on her face. “Ed told you he loves you?”
I pause.
“Well, no, not in so many words,” I admit, swallowing hard. “But I can feel it. It’s only been a few weeks, but we’ve fallen for each other, head over heels and all that good stuff. There’s no denying it.”
My mom lets out a trill of laughter then.
“Oh honey, you’re so naïve. He hasn’t fallen in love, he’s fallen in lust. You’re just too young to realize the difference.”
I stare at her.
“What do you mean?”
My mom sighs. “Baby, Ed is a confirmed bachelor. In fact, he was like that all the way back in high school, and you know men. They don’t change.”
I sit up straighter. “Um, high school was a long time ago and I disagree: people do change.”
Nanette sniffs.
“Men like Ed don’t change.”
Now it’s my turn to be dismissive.
“You’re talking about decades ago, Nanette. Trust me, he’s older now and more mature. Like I said, people change.”
Nanette merely inclines her head again, studying her nails.
“You know, once upon a time, I was young and naïve too. I wanted to have a baby with Ed, did he tell you that?”
I stare at my mom.
“Yes, he did in fact. He said he wasn’t ready, and so you went your separate ways.”
She trills with laughter.
“Not ready? Well, that’s one way of framing things.”
I stare at her.
“Why, what did he tell you?”
Nanette smiles lazily, pretending disinterest.
“He said that he never wants to have children. Ed is an ardent environmentalist who believes that overpopulation is killing the Earth. Did he get into climate change, not to mention methane emissions and all that shit? He believes the damage we’ve done to Mother Earth rests almost entirely on the shoulders of the human race, and mostly from the demands of an exploding population. Ed would never contribute to that by consenting to have kids.”
I gape at my mother. “Yeah, but it’s been over twenty years,” I manage in a trembling voice. “People change.” Now, my argument sounds weak and indefensible, even to me.
Nanette merely shrugs, picking up her fork once more.
“You see the business he runs. What is it called? Earth Justice? Earth Care?”
“EarthMatters,” I say in a short voice. “He’s the CEO.”
“Exactly,” Nanette says with an I-Told-You-So-Smile. “Does that seem like someone who’s changed his mind about the issue that was always of paramount importance to him?”
I gasp and my face grows pale, even as my hands settle on my stomach. Mom follows the motion with her eyes, looking surprised, but then she reaches to pat me gently on the shoulder.
“You’re pregnant, aren’t you, Susie?”
My stammer. “What?”
She shrugs.
“Like I said, you’re absolutely glowing and usually there are only two reasons for that: constant sex and pregnancy, and you’ve been getting both. So, what are you going to do now that you know your babydaddy doesn’t want children? Terminate?”
My soufflé suddenly smells like garbage and I feel nauseous.
“We’ll see,” I say in a terse voice even as my heart begins breaking. “I haven’t made any decisions yet. In fact, I just found out about my pregnancy myself,” I say.