Chapter 9
Matteo
When Lacey decided to go with my sister, Shawn invited me along with him. I forgot to mention to her that my sister wanted to get to know her amidst the awkwardness of our fight. Obviously, I wanted to bring it up, mainly because I was shocked, but it never came up. I hoped things would get better because I didn’t want to be stuck with someone who couldn’t stand me. A part of me also started to feel guilty for my coldness. How could I help it though? It was all I knew.
“You ready to go?” Shawn said from outside my hotel door. He had his usual goofy grin on his face.
“Coming.” I turned off the lights, and we headed out. I didn’t want anyone to know about mine and Lacey’s fight because then they’d start to pry, and that was the last thing I needed.
I figured Shawn had an entire agenda planned; however, he just plopped right outside with his open shirt and a mimosa. He didn’t really have much planned today. Relax. I had a mind to push him to do something, but it wasn’t up to me. This was his decision to get married, and even though it was to my incredible sister, marriage was still a leap. Ultimately though, that was what he wanted to do. Sunbathing wasn’t productive, but I couldn’t blame him. Getting married seemed to be a very stressful time. Nothing like you see in movies. The stress, the drama, and not to mention the reality that you’re tied to one woman for the rest of your life sounded like a goddamn nightmare. On top of all the stuff you had to get together and coordinate, I decided that marriage was a death trap. No thanks. Didn’t seem like my kind of fun.
After lounging for a little longer, we walked to the bar on the beach, grabbed a table, and ordered some Jack and Coke. “My sister still isn’t driving you nuts yet?” I asked jokingly. I knew those two were meant for each other, so I could joke around.
“Nope, never. Yours?”
I didn’t even reply because if I did, then the truth would have come out without me even noticing it. Thank god for that.
“She’s too pretty for you, brother,” he said laughingly. “I’m surprised she’s still with you. Look at you. What’s going on with you?”
I wasn’t sure what he meant, but I knew he was only trying to help. “What do you mean, what’s wrong with me? Nothing. I’m fine.”
“You have been uptight since you got here. Lacey should be loosening you up. Something wrong between you two? If so, just fix it,” he said, giving me advice about my fake relationship.
“You know how I get around my family. It’s just how I am. We are fine,” I replied but felt sorry for lying to him. Hell, I had only ever lied to him a handful of times over our many years of friendship.
“So, a future with her?” He was reaching for an answer of marriage. Hell, even if this were a real relationship, I wouldn’t propose to a girl after a couple of months. Rushed relationships end in divorce. Proven fact!
“Hell, I don’t know yet. We have only been together for a couple of months, what do you expect? We haven’t known each other our whole lives like you and my sister. I would never marry a woman after a couple months of dating. Try at least a couple of years. Relationships are tricky and hard to manage for someone like me. Honestly, I’m surprised she’s still around,” I explained. It was the truth. She was still here, although she could’ve snuck up and flown back sometime today without me even knowing. I hoped she would be in the room when I got there. That would be hard to explain if she wasn’t.
“This wouldn’t have anything to do with Kelsey, would it?” he asked.
Now, why the hell did he have to go and bring her up? If this were an actual relationship, Kelsey would have nothing to do with it. Yes, she played the part so well, marriage was coming. I got lucky with the timing. Honestly, Kelsey had broken my heart. I fell in love with her when I was twenty-one, and she was a couple years older than me. When we broke up, my heart shattered. Deep down, I believed that no one would want me for myself, only for my money. I had to give up the notion of finding someone to love. Fairy-tale endings weren’t true. That’s why they were called fairy tales.
So, for the past several years, I’d just stayed to myself. Not putting any focus on any woman. I vowed to never put myself in the situation to be played like that again. Sure, I could be a significant douchebag sometimes, but I had been great to Kelsey. I still asked myself why she had to do that to me.
Shawn seemed to feel the mood change. His big eyes started to look clouded as worry took over. That was not what I needed.
“More drinks?” I offered. Shawn hesitated, studying my face for a few seconds before shrugging.
“Sure, I don’t see why not.” Relief.
After our round of drinks came, I admittedly felt wounded. He brought up something I never wanted to think about again. Why do people mention things at the worst moments? I guess if they knew what was going on, they wouldn’t, but that was too big of a risk.
I chugged beer after beer, allowing the alcohol to take over my body. Dizziness lured me to want to fall over, but Shawn caught me, sitting me down on the bench. I slapped his arm playfully, glad he was there to monitor me. After slowly sipping his drink though, Shawn sighed loudly, placing a sweaty hand on my shoulder.
“Just remember, not every girl is Kelsey. Lacey seems to genuinely care for you. Don’t let that slip by because of what that crazy woman did to you. You have to open up your heart at some point, bud.”
I heard every word he said, and it made sense. However, I didn’t want to believe it. I’d been so closed off since Kelsey that I had barely touched a woman since. I know it was stupid, but even intimacy scared me. What happened if we spent too much time together? I didn’t want to catch feelings for anyone. My guard was always up around my weak heart.
“I heard you, brother. I know. I’m trying.” Was I though? Could I open my heart back up again? The answer had yet to reach my drunken mind.
A couple hours and many drinks later, Shawn shuffled me to the hotel room for bed. I was out of it. I really shouldn’t have drunk that much. Who knew what I had said?
All I could remember was the door opening to my hotel room and Lacey in a nightgown. Shawn handed me off to her. She could have just let me fall asleep on the floor, but she helped me up, undressed me, and got me into bed. Even after all the dickish things I’d done and said to her, she was still a good person.