“Of course. That’s right. We can go.”
As we left the restaurant, we carried that quiet tension with us back to my house. I couldn’t tell you how many times Dax fiddled with the radio and temperature gauges.
After he parked, he got out to meet me at the passenger side. He slipped his hands in his pockets as we stood facing each other on the curb. “So we’ll see you next Saturday for Rafe’s party, then?”
We. He and Rafe or he and Morgan? “Yes. I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Cool.”
He reached out to give me a hug, but I took a step back.
His smile faded. “I’m sorry. I—”
“No need to apologize. I just think it’s better if we don’t…do that.” I let out a shaky breath, surprised by my self-protective mechanism. “You know, the whole new-normal thing,” I added.
“Of course,” he said, looking regretful. “I didn’t mean to cross the line.”
“You didn’t.”
He wasn’t the problem. It was me. The last time he hugged me—when I’d arrived at his door—was torture, and I didn’t want to feel that painful longing again.
“Alright.” He nodded, looking down at the ground for a few seconds before forcing a smile. “Have fun tonight with Rafe.”
“We will.”
I turned around and didn’t look back. Dad had been watching us from the window again—fortunately sans shotgun.
• • •
The following weekend, I sat in my car outside Dax’s house. I could see a tent set up in the yard and teenage boys milling about on the lawn. It took several minutes before I could garner the strength to get out and join the party.
Just as I exited the vehicle, Rafe spotted me walking toward the house.
“Hey!” He ran to me.
“How’s the party going?” I smiled.
“Good.” He raked his hand through his curly hair.
“At first I thought Dax was crazy for doing this outside in early February, but you got lucky,” I said. “It’s actually not that freezing today.”
“Yeah, the big tent has heaters, though, so you don’t even feel like you’re outside under there.”
I’d forgotten money could pretty much buy anything, including plenty of heat in the dead of winter.
“Are you okay being here?” Rafe asked, his eyes serious.
I loved him for caring enough to ask, but I didn’t want him to worry. “Of course. Things are fine.” I smacked his arm playfully. “Didn’t I tell you Dax and I worked everything out when he and I met up last week?”
“No, you didn’t say too much about that.”
“Well, we’re working toward a…new normal. So you don’t have to worry about me. I can handle this.”
He shrugged. “Alright. If you say so.”
I waved him off. “Go hang out with your friends. I’ll catch up with you.”
“Okay.” He gave me a hug, and the contact relaxed me a bit.
That is, until I made my way over to the big tent and spotted Morgan with her arms wrapped around Dax as he flipped burgers. He wore a Syracuse beanie and black parka vest. He had only gotten hotter with age. At thirty-five, he looked better than ever. A freaking zaddy.
He flinched when he spotted me, causing her to release him.
It’s showtime. Commence fake smile. One foot in front of the other. “I thought you said this was catered. Since when do you flip burgers?” I teased as I approached.
“Well, I had all of the side dishes brought in, but I figured for an authentic barbecue, you actually have to cook the meat on site.”
“Hope you’re hungry, Wren,” Morgan said. “We have burgers, shrimp, chicken wings, hot dogs, sausage…”
I’ve had Dax’s sausage. Did you know that, Morgan?
She was still clueless, and that was probably a good thing. I’d hate to imagine what this experience would be like if she knew the truth. Once again, I forced a smile. “I’m sure these boys will take care of all the food, no problem. I’ve seen the way Rafe eats now. He wasn’t like that before I left.”
“You noticed that, huh?” Dax nodded. “Do you know my grocery bill has doubled in the past year? The kid goes through a gallon of milk every other day.”
“He’s a growing man now, I suppose.” I laughed.
When I spotted a smiling Shannon walking toward us, I breathed a sigh of relief. She’d taken the day off last week when I’d picked up Rafe for dinner, so this was the first time I’d seen her since arriving in Boston.
She opened her arms wide. “Wren! I heard you were back. It’s so wonderful to see you!”
“You, too, Shannon!” I gave her a hug.
She looked me over. “I almost didn’t recognize you with the long hair.”
“I know. I stopped cutting it a while back.”
“I love it,” she said.
“Thank you.”
“But you have such a pretty face, it wouldn’t matter if you had no hair at all,” she said.
“That’s very true,” Morgan agreed.
Oh boy. I couldn’t help glancing over at Dax, who understandably chose not to chime in about how pretty I was. Instead, he’d returned his focus to the grill, flipping the burgers and adding some hot dogs to one side of them.