I was sure she’d drawn the wrong conclusion as she bolted out of my house. I hoped she didn’t feel ashamed for attempting to make the first move, especially when I’d led her on. I should’ve been ashamed—ashamed for contacting her after she quit her job at Elite when I should’ve left well enough alone. Ashamed that I couldn’t hide my damn arousal—both times she massaged me, but especially the last time. Ashamed for the fact that I still watched her goddamn music uploads every night and that it was the only way I could sleep. That was the hard part—I did still see her. Every night. Just not in the flesh.
Shannon spoke from somewhere behind me, interrupting my rumination. “You’ve been preoccupied lately. Well, more preoccupied than usual.”
“I’m glad you clarified that last part because I’m pretty much always preoccupied.”
Shannon was my employee, but we’d crossed into the friendship zone a long time ago. It wasn’t unlike her to pry if she felt something was off.
As if she’d been reading my mind, she said, “Maybe it’s time for you to book another massage.”
My jaw tensed. This was the first time she’d brought it up in the month since Wren’s awkward exit. I was surprised it had taken her this long to bust my balls about it, but apparently my grace period was over. I cleared my throat. “That won’t be happening anymore.”
“Why not?”
“Just not my thing.”
“That little massage therapist was very attractive.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” I snapped.
“I don’t know. I just sensed something that day when I came back early. I thought there might have been something more going on.”
“Well, you thought wrong.”
“It’s none of my business, Dax. But you know it would be perfectly acceptable if there were something going on, right? It’s been almost two years since Maren died. She would want you to move on.”
“How do you know what Maren would want?”
“Well, I can only assume she would want you to be happy. There’s no shame in allowing yourself the human contact we all need.”
I arched my brow. “Who says I don’t get human contact? Maybe I do and you just don’t know about it.”
“I’m aware of that woman who came by here looking for you once. Adriana or something? I didn’t get the impression she was anyone important. Not like the impression that massage therapist gave me. You seemed really affected when she stormed out of here, like she mattered to you. Again, it’s none of my business, but I don’t think you should feel guilty about anything that might or might not have happened.”
“For Christ’s sake, I didn’t sleep with her,” I barked. I took a deep breath and lowered my voice. “But there was…something there. An attraction. I’ll admit that. That’s all it was.”
“So, suppose, you know, you did decide to get another massage…”
I arched my brow. “What?”
“We should come up with a code. Like if I see a T-shirt around the doorknob, that means don’t enter your office.”
I rolled my eyes. “Shannon…”
“What?”
“I know you’re just looking out for me. And I appreciate that. But I’d rather not discuss this anymore.”
“Okay.” She smiled sympathetically. “You’re the boss.”
• • •
The following Saturday, I dragged Rafe out of the house. Getting out wasn’t just going to be good for him, but for me as well. Both of us spent too much time on our devices, wasting the weekends away because we didn’t quite know how to interact with each other. I needed to do better, and it was going to start today. Even if he still wouldn’t talk to me, I would force some bonding time.
I decided we would go downtown for lunch, and I’d picked a ramen restaurant. He slurped down his soup pretty fast, so at least I knew he enjoyed it.
We then headed to a bookstore. Rafe liked Japanese comic books, so I told him to pick out a few. He separated from me to browse, and I kept an eye on him from afar while I perused the fiction aisle.
At one point, I looked up to find someone standing next to him. I squinted to get a better look at her.
It can’t be.
It was.
It was her.
My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest.
Wren said something to him. When I walked over, she looked up at me.
Her skin immediately reddened. “Hey, Dax.” She set a book back on the shelf. “I…recognized Rafe. I didn’t realize he liked manga. I was telling him about the time I went to the anime convention when it was in Boston a few years back.”
Rafe smiled.
He fucking smiled.
It was the first genuine smile I’d seen on his face in…well, forever.
“Really?” I swallowed. “That’s cool.”
“How have you been?” she asked.
“Good. We, uh, just decided to come downtown today.”
“We both had the same idea, then. I love this bookstore. I think Rafe was surprised to realize I knew all about Death Note.” She turned to him. “It was nice seeing you, Rafe. I hope you pick out a good one.”