“But you didn’t lose the house?” he asked.
“No. Thank God my dad got a new job before that happened. But I can’t say I regret helping him keep a roof over our heads. If I go to hell for that, so be it. I’d never have the balls to do something like that today. And I realize, of course, how wrong it was. So don’t worry, your metal is safe.”
“I’m glad you clarified that. I was fearing for my wrought-iron fence outside.” His smile lingered. “Okay, so even your bad-girl story has an undercurrent of good in it. You make stealing scrap metal seem heroic. I can appreciate why you did it, even if it was wrong. There should be nothing we wouldn’t do to protect the ones we love. I admire the bond you have with your dad.”
That made me feel sorry for him. Family should always have each other’s backs. Dax’s family clearly didn’t have his.
There was a long moment of silence. I’m not sure what compelled me to utter exactly how I was feeling in that moment, but I did.
“I missed you,” I said.
Dax had been looking down into his cup, and he suddenly met my eyes. He said nothing.
Ugh. Why did I do that? My mouth opened and closed a few times. “I’m sorry if that sounded awkward, but I thought I’d never see you again.” I shook my head and looked down. “You know what? Forget I said that, please.”
“No,” he finally said. “I love your honesty. And it’s good to see you, too. I’d be lying if I said the only thing I wanted today was a massage. I enjoy your company. It’s nice to see your face again and talk to you. It feels good.”
Speaking of feeling good, wasn’t I supposed to be giving this guy a massage? It must have been getting late.
I looked at the time. “We should probably get started since Rafe will be home soon, right?”
He glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall. “Another hour and a half, yeah.” He stood and took our cups to the sink.
“I’ll go set up.” I hopped out of my seat so fast that I tripped. My bag went flying, and so did much of its contents.
Shit! Why am I always such a disaster in this house? “Butterfingers is at it again.” I shook my head. “Would it kill me not to drop shit or break something every time I come here?”
Everything seemed to have fallen out—my wallet, coins, receipts, energy bars, and unfortunately, tampons. At least ten of them. Yes, ten.
Dax rushed over to help me pick up the mess. “Always helps to be prepared,” he teased, putting a couple of the tampons back in my purse.
Clearing my throat, I explained, “I had a bad experience once where I needed one and didn’t have one, so I make sure that can never happen again.”
“I think you might be set for the next five years.” He lifted my daily planner off the ground. It was held open to today’s date with a binder clip.
“You had a pretty busy morning,” he said. “Reiki at 9 AM?”
“Yeah. You’re not the only one partaking in a little self-care.” I smiled.
“What’s BDE? That’s our timeslot.”
Oh no. I nearly pissed myself. BDE was what I’d written to signify this meeting. “You don’t know what it means?” I asked, snatching the planner and putting it back in my bag.
“Afraid not.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“Then I’m not telling you.”
He arched a brow. “Is it bad?”
“No.”
“Tell me, or I’ll have to guess.” He handed me the last item off the ground. “Boston Dumbass Extraordinaire?”
I chuckled. “Nope.”
“Bad Dumb Elephant?”
I shook my head and sighed. He was only going to Google it later, and then I wouldn’t be around to explain myself. “It means big dick energy.”
“Oh…yeah. I’ve heard of that. Didn’t make the connection with the acronym.”
“It has nothing to do with an actual…dick. The term isn’t even exclusive to men. Women can have big dick energy, too. It’s like when someone exudes confidence, but they’re not cocky. That’s the vibe you give off. You don’t see it about yourself because you’re too busy doing your thing—managing your company, looking out for Rafe. You’re not trying to have BDE. You just do.”
“Well, it’s a hell of a lot better than small dick energy, I suppose.”
“Absolutely. It’s totally a good thing.”
“I’ve been called much worse in my life, so I’ll take it.”
I cleared my throat. “Now that I’m thoroughly mortified, let’s get on with the massage, shall we?”
“Sure.” He smiled.
Relief washed over me.
Dax brought my equipment into his office, helped me with the table, and left me alone in there for a bit while I set up the rest. I felt more nervous to touch him now than the last time. And I knew why. I’d agreed to come here not only to massage him, but because I liked him. At the same time, he intimidated me, and I felt so very out of my league. I worried that a man like Dax Moody would never be truly interested in starting something with me. It was possible he found me attractive and thought I was nice. But at this stage in his life, he was likely looking for someone who had their shit together. After all, he went for older women.