"When?" she asks right away, facing me.
"The next day after we spent the night together for the first time," I confess, looking at her from above.
I see surprise on her face, and she isn't even trying to hide it, raising an eyebrow. I know it might be a shock for her, but I don't want to lie to Serena anymore or hide anything.
"You knew we'd spend Christmas together all along?" Her voice expresses excitement mixed with concern.
"I hoped so," I say honestly, gently taking her by the neck.
Her big brown eyes widen as she places her palms on my chest, silently begging me to say more but not asking aloud in case I don't want to say it.
She knows me so well.
"My mom died last year, right before Christmas." I’m telling her something I've told no one before. "She killed herself by taking a whole bottle of sleeping pills."
I clear my throat, trying to get rid of the vast lump stuck in it. I couldn't even imagine how hard it would be to talk about that, even after such a long time.
"She had a bipolar disorder all her life and stopped taking pills after the divorce with my father," I continue, feeling how tense Serena's body is under my arms. "I didn't blame him for leaving her. It was impossible to handle all of her hysterics. He lived like that for years before letting her go. And she killed herself when she found out that he started dating another woman."
A tear falls down Serena's cheek, and I wipe it off.
"Don't cry, baby; it's all in the past," I say, not quite sure if it's true. The wound hurts so much, as if it happened yesterday. "I'm telling you this only because I want you to know everything about me; I don't want us to have any secrets from each other."
"Is that why you don't speak to your father?" she asks after a pause, and her voice is shaking.
"I talk to him, but I started hating him that day, blaming him for leaving her, telling him that it's all his fault," I explain, realizing how stupid it sounds, even in my head.
My dad fought Mom's illness through their whole marriage. He really loved her, and he misses her, too, I know that. But I was an egoist who didn't want to admit that or pay any attention to his feelings.
"I started not studying and skipping school, mostly partying instead," I continue, even though it's getting harder to breathe. "I did all of that because I knew that his career is so important for him, and I wanted to hurt him."
It's hard to admit, even to myself, that I wanted to hurt someone on purpose, especially my father. But Serena has to know the truth. And I know for sure that she'll understand.
"But since the day I met you, I stopped thinking about getting revenge on my father," I continue, trying to give her a smile. "All I could think about was you, a girl who was supposed to teach me, but whom I wanted to kiss from the moment she bit her lip for the first time."
She smiles when I say it, and even though it's a sad smile, it still warms my heart.
"The morning I woke up next to you, holding your tender body in my arms, was the best morning in my life." I brush my fingers over her lips, remembering perfectly the first time I saw her biting them. "And I realized that day that I'm not mad at my father anymore, and you're the reason for that. That's why I ordered this necklace."
Chapter Fourteen
Dominic
We stayed like that for a long time, right until Serena's phone rang and her friend Samantha started asking if she was coming to the bookstore because it was already opened.
I told her to take my car and go, even though I didn't want her to leave. But I had other things to do that day. I needed to go to my father to apologize. He called me on Christmas, but I didn't pick up because I didn't know what to say.
But now I know. I want to tell him how much I care about him and how sorry I am for acting like an asshole all this year. He needs my apology, we both do, and I don't want to wait any longer. That's why I called his secretary and asked her to put me in his schedule, without telling him who it was. She didn't want to agree at first, but she likes me, so a couple of compliments to her new haircut was all it took to make her agree.
I enter my house—my dad's house—for the first time in three days. I came only to leave the book and change my shirt. Even though I've spent these three days primarily naked, I can't show up in my dad's office in a dirty shirt.
"Well, hello to you." Right after I walk into the room, I hear a familiar female voice and freeze in shock.
I turn around and see Cameron sitting on my bed, wearing nothing but red underwear.
"What are you doing here?" I raise my voice, unable to hide my emotions.
"I came here to see you, silly." She stands up from the bed and comes closer.