I close my eyes, and the photos of her dead body from the newspapers appear right away. I shake my head, trying to erase them, but it's no use.
"Rory could never forgive me for what I did. He found out that Alison attended my party, he knew that she was drinking, and he knew that I let her leave like that."
I press my palms to my face to hide my shame.
"She committed suicide, Gabi, while I was having a threesome!" I yell, letting my fear, anger, and guilt express through my tears and screaming. "I couldn't wait a couple of minutes longer to make sure she got into the cab because I couldn't wait for another hookup. I should've waited! I should've called Rory and told him to pick her up! I shouldn't have been such a selfish asshole..."
And that's when I feel someone's tender hands cupping my face. I move my palms away and open my eyes. Gabi is looking into my eyes from below and is crying.
"That wasn't your fault," she says quietly. I’ve heard those words already, from my parents and even from some of my friends. So many times that I cannot count.
But that isn't true. It is my fault. Her parents lost a daughter, others lost a friend, Rory lost his little sister. And that was all my fault.
"I knew you wouldn't want to be with me when you found out," I say, clearing my throat, my eyes still a little blurry, "but I fell in love with you and didn't want to let you go."
I wrap my hands around her waist and press my forehead to hers.
"That's nonsense," she whispers, brushing her fingers all over my face. "Of course, I won't leave you because of that."
I can't believe she's for real.
"You won't?" I frown, still thinking that I imagined this.
"Of course not." She smiles as if it's obvious.
For a couple of moments, we simply stay like that, silently, stroking each other.
"I love you, Gabi." I finally break the silence, but my eyes are still closed. If she doesn't feel the same, I don't want to see it on her face. "I love you," I repeat. "With all of my heart."
I feel tears on my lips again, but then I realize that those tears are not mine—they are Gabi's.
"I’ve loved you, Alex Meyers, from the moment you first kissed me," she whispers, and I open my eyes to make sure I'm not imagining this.
I grab her in my arms, and she wraps her legs around my waist, just like she did the last time. I walk to my house, holding the most precious gift in my arms. And this time, I won't let it go.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Gabi
He unbuttons my blouse, slowly and carefully, button by button. He looks into my eyes the whole time, and I see the release. As if he can finally let go of his past.
When he undressed me for the first time, it was pure passion, a possession neither of us could resist. But this time, it's different. Not because it's slower and gentler, but because it's more honest and sincere. We are fully dressed, but our hearts are open. We'll intertwine not only our bodies but also our souls.
He takes off my bra and my skirt, leaving me standing in my white panties and stockings.
"When I saw you wearing them in school, I wanted to pin you to the wall and take you right in the middle of the hall," he says, pointing at my stockings and running his hand over them from bottom to top.
I shiver and smile in response, my cheeks getting hot again. When will I finally stop being shy when he talks to me about his fantasies? Do I want to stop?
I have no time to think more about that before he grabs me in his arms and leads me to the wall next to his bed.
"And now I can finally make my dream come true." He gives me a mischievous smile before pinning me to the cold surface.
"It's my turn to undress you, remember?" I remind him, even though I know it makes no sense to argue with this man. He's going to do what he wants regardless.
"Not yet, champ." He smiles before kneeling down in front of me and throwing my legs over his shoulders.
I grab his head for balance even though his grip is too tight to let me fall. I press my back harder to the wall when he pushes away my panties and starts licking my clit.