My heart is pounding in my ears as I think about what I just did. But I couldn't wait any longer. I had to tell her. There's no other choice. It's now or never.
And now I'm like a prisoner waiting for his sentence. Will my hopes be killed or pardoned? That's the question.
"You're such an idiot, Hazel," she finally whispers, holding out her hands and wrapping them around my neck. "You're so stupid to think that you missed your chance. I never stopped loving you."
And then she makes a move by getting on her tiptoes and pressing her lips against mine.
For a couple of seconds, I'm so lost that I don't even move. I have no time to process what she just said to me. And then I grab Kendall in my arms and lift her up, pressing her closer to my body. She wraps her legs around me, digging her fingers in my hair.
I'm losing myself in this kiss and her scent. She smells like oranges, but when I enter her mouth with my tongue, I can taste the notes of the chocolate mint ice cream she ate after lunch.
I have never tasted anything more intoxicating. And it feels like I won't ever be able to stop devouring her.
I manage to somehow start moving. Kendall gasps slightly when I do that, but I grab her ass harder.
"Don't worry, Sapphire, now that I have you in my arms, I will never let you go," I whisper, breaking the kiss just for a second and then pressing my lips to hers again, entering her mouth right away before she has time to respond.
I can't let her think twice. Overthinking is the worst thing ever; that's what brought me to hate my best friend; that's what broke my heart into pieces each time I told myself that I should forget about her.
We get closer to the swimming pool, and I fight the urge to strip her bare and take her right in the garden under the stars as she wrote about in her diary.
And then I remind myself that she also wrote something about the shower. I speed up my pace and enter the changing room's shower next to the pool, closing the door behind us. The lighting is perfect here, with an opaque window glass that allows the sun in but doesn't allow us to be seen by others.
"I'm going to take you in every way you wanted, Sapphire," I whisper hoarsely, breaking the kiss and pressing her back to the marble wall. "Each fucking pose you wrote about, I won't miss any of it."
One of my hands is still holding her, while the other one reaches to the shower handle and turns it on.
Kendall gasps when the cold water starts falling on our bodies, but it gets warmer with every second.
"We're going to start in the shower, as you've already guessed." I give her a sly smile before letting her legs touch the ground and starting to undress her.
Kendall's top is wet, and I see her bikini straps and her puckered nipples through it. It doesn't take me long to take them off, and after I'm done with that, I lean to take one of those hard nipples in my mouth, desperate for what I've been dying to taste again.
"Oh God, Josh..." She moans in pleasure, and I swear that my name never sounded so passionate as when it escapes her sweet mouth.
Kendall's leaning on my shoulders even more for balance, throwing her head back.
I suck her nipples hard, at first one and then the other, before taking her breasts in my hands and pushing them together to taste both at the same time.
"I want you so much, Sapphire, I can't think straight." I start unbuckling her denim shorts and pull them down together with her bikini bottoms. For the first time in my life I see Kendall wearing a bikini, but I have no time to admire it because her naked body looks so much better.
I can't take this anymore. The urge to be inside of her is so strong that I'm not sure I can last long enough. I swear I could come in my pants.
"I don't have a condom, but I'm clean," I say, looking up at her, and I can see the fear in her eyes. "I swear, Sapphire, I've never been with any girl without protection." I look deeply into her eyes to make sure she understands what I'm saying. "Have you? Are you on the pill?"
She swallows. A couple of seconds pass, but she still gives me no answer. Has she had unprotected sex with that asshole?
No.I whisk that thought away. My Kendall is too sensible. She wouldn't do that. She's a future doctor; she wouldn't risk that...
"I'm a virgin, Josh," she whispers, interrupting my thoughts, so quietly that I doubt if I heard it. The noise of the shower pounds in my ears. "I thought you knew."
She looks at me with frustration. How the hell could I know? She had a year-long relationship with her boyfriend; she even took him on vacation to France, which I hated every damn second of.
"Didn't you see that in my diary?" She speaks again, looking at me with so much fear as if she just told me she did something wrong, "That was right before that sex list, a couple of pages..."
"I didn't." I shake my head, realizing how stupid I am. I assaulted her yesterday without permission while she was still a virgin. Moreover, I wanted to take her for the first time right here, roughly in the shower.
My stomach contracts in guilt, and I feel like it's getting harder for me to breathe.