When our tongues meet, I can taste myself on his lips, and it feels so weird and so incredibly sensual at the same time.
I place my hands onto his stiff, warm chest muscles, digging my nails into his skin. Josh grabs my neck, and the hand that was stroking my cheek is now pressing my face harder to deepen the kiss.
I moan again, louder this time, squeezing my legs and feeling this weird sexual tension that is building inside me.
I don't know if that's possible. I've only heard about multiple orgasms from the romance books I've read, but I swear I could come again right now.
Josh's other hand grabs my bare ass and presses my body closer to his hard cock. And now, only the fabric of his boxers is between us as he starts rubbing his dick all over my mound.
I continue moaning while my hands stroke his abs, exploring his body.
"Sapphire," he growls and pulls away a little, gasping for air.
What happened? Why did he stop?I ask myself but am afraid to say it aloud.
"I can't do this," he whispers, and I think my heart is literally stopping in disillusionment.
"Why?" I ask, half surprised, half irritated because I'm sick of his games. I can't stand them. He's being hot and then cold, pushing me away for years and then pulling me closer when he needs to.
"Because you hate me," he says after a pause, and I hold a breath.
Do I? Do I really hate him?
Of course I do. He’s bullied and ignored me for years!
Then why do I so desperately want him to kiss me again?
"It didn't stop you before," I whisper back, scratching his chest with my nails involuntarily as if my body is showing him how painful it is for me to hear it.
"I wanted to give pleasure to you. I don't need anything in return," he explains. As if he's unsure what he wants to say and doesn't believe them either, his words are slow and hesitant.
"You don't want me?" I ask, and those words sound desperate, as if I'm going to start crying when he admits it.
"I do." Josh shuts his eyes, shaking his head slightly. "Kendall, you have no idea how much I want you. It's just..."
He stops, trying to find the right words, and I fight the urge to beg him to continue. I can't let myself ask Josh to have sex with me. It's pathetic. Right?
"I want you to lo...like me," he continues, and finally opens his eyes to look at me again. "I want you to like me when we make love."
"You want me to like you?" A small laugh escapes my throat at how ridiculous it sounds. "For the last couple of years, you did everything you could to make me hate you."
"I was wrong," he says immediately, and I stop laughing. I look into his eyes, and I could swear that, despite the complete darkness, I can see regret in them.
Josh Underwood may lie to me, but his eyes will always expose him. I’ve known him since the day I was born.
"And what are you going to do?" I ask again because I have no idea how he can make me forgive everything he did in a couple of hours.
"I'll take it slow, step by step." He smiles, licking his lips. "I'll be pleasuring you every day, and then, maybe, someday, you'll finally forgive me."
"Someday?" I exclaim in surprise, unable to hide my emotions. "I wasn't expecting this to happen again after tonight."
A long pause follows those words, and Josh's intense gaze makes my skin sting. He doesn't say a word, continuing to look at me, staring into my eyes like a possessed wild animal, ready to attack at any second.
"It will happen again, many times more," he says finally, his voice low and demanding as if it's not a negotiation but an order.
I am so shocked I have no words left to speak as my eyes blink faster with each second. How dare he think I might want to repeat it?
"I..."