Why do I think about him? He was nothing but rude to me through all these years, and now suddenly he’s become nice?
I shouldn’t believe him. He's cunning. He always gets what he wants. Girls fall at his feet with just one look, and let's not even mention his touches. They're bewitching.
Then why the hell do I so desperately want him to touch me? Why am I lying on the bed now, reading a gripping thriller but thinking about what would his lips be like on mine?
I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before, even my ex-boyfriend Chad. My knees never gave way from his voice, my heart never wanted to explode from his scent, my legs never scissored only from a look.
But all of that happens to me when I'm near Josh Underwood. I remember how once I had been lying on the beach with Chad. I was reading, not paying attention to him, but when Josh arrived, I started kissing Chad right in front of him simply to piss him off. I thought I’d done that to show him that I was in love and happy while he was just looking for another one-night stand, but what if I wasn't as satisfied as I thought I was? What if I did all of that on purpose? Not to piss Josh off but to make him jealous?
All of these thoughts rush around in my head so quickly that I have no time to answer any of those questions before thousands of new ones pop up alongside them.
And then the light turns off unexpectedly, and the whole house is left in the dark. Something hits the window, and I jump, looking outside. It's dark, but I try to adjust, and I guess I see a branch's outline there. Probably the electricity is out throughout the whole neighborhood because it's so dark I can see almost nothing.
Oh, gosh, why is this happening now?I hate my life.
I'm glad my bedroom is on the second floor because if it was on the first like my parents', I wouldn't be able to sleep at all.
Can I fall asleep now? I very much doubt it.
I was always afraid of the dark ever since I was a little girl. In our house in LA, my room was next to my parents' because otherwise, I wouldn't be able to sleep. That's why after they retired and left for an extended trip around the world, I asked my friend Serena to move in with me. Serena's parents live outside LA, so they agreed without hesitation that she could move closer to the school.
When we were younger, vacationing with Josh and our families, we pretended to go to sleep. Then, when everyone else was already in their beds, Josh would sneak into my bedroom unnoticed, and we would talk all night long, sometimes until sunrise, and only after I fell asleep, did he go back to his room.
But those days are over, and there's no one to save me now.
I put my book on the bedside table, checking again to see if the small lamp next to my bed is working. It's not, so I pull a blanket over my head and try to calm down.
I'm a grown-up woman, I shouldn't be afraid of the dark.
I hear a quiet knocking. I hold a breath. It's Josh. Of course it is. But what if it isn't?
Don't be ridiculous, Kendall! There's no one else in here except for you two!
I stay silent, peeping from the blanket at the door. My eyes have already adjusted to the darkness so I can see the doorframe. The door creaks open.
"Are you still alive, Sapphire? Or has the monster already come for you?" Josh whispers, coming in without an invitation and closing the door behind him.
"That's not funny, Underwood! I haven’t been afraid of monsters since the age of ten!" I say with irritation, breathing a sigh of relief.
Damian used to love horror movies when he was a teen, and even though he didn't allow us to watch with him, sometimes we sat silently on the stairs trying to see what was forbidden to us. Once he watched "The Ring," and I couldn't sleep for a whole month afterwards, worrying that a girl with long dark hair would come into my room and take me away from my family.
Luckily it was during a vacation, and Josh slept in my bed, checking the closet every night to convince me that no one was there.
I'm not afraid of monsters anymore. But for some reason, I'm still scared of the darkness.
"Do you want me to check under your bed?" he asks, and I can hear that he's holding in a laugh.
I want to punch him.
"Go away," I hiss in response.
"So you don't want me to stay here with you?" he clarifies, coming closer so that now he's inches away from my bed.
I do want him to stay, but I say, "Of course not. Don't be ridiculous!"
"Are you sure?" He chuckles, taking one more step and standing against my bed now.
I see his eyes in the dark, and they’re looking directly at me. I swallow, and my heart starts beating faster, but in another way, not like when the branch hit the window. This is something different.