I breathe out heavily, taking a seat on the bed and looking outside the window.
I haven't seen Daniel for six weeks. I wish I could say it’s helped me to stop thinking about him, but I'd be lying to myself.
I haven't stopped thinking about him, no matter how much I want to. I have dreams about him almost every night. And all of my nightmares are about him, too.
I guess his story about living on the streets and starving during his childhood reaches to the deepest parts of my heart, and now he's going to be with me forever.
I know what I did was right. We shouldn't be together. That's what he told me right after graduation when he came to congratulate me. He told me that I'm too good for him, too innocent, too young.
I disagreed with him on every point. I'm old enough to know what I want: a real, honest, mature relationship with no cheating and excuses. I'm not innocent—maybe a little inexperienced, but that can change. He could teach me everything if he wanted. And I'm absolutely not too good for Daniel Vanderbilt because he's not a bad guy, not at all.
After that night, I was obsessed with him, and I searched for all the information I could find about him. There wasn't much on the internet, as he's a very private person, but I did my best and used all of my hacker skills to find out the truths.
Daniel is the owner of a hotel and a sex club, that's true. He founded it by himself after years of working with his father. But he's also so much more...
He's a philanthropist: over sixty shelters for homeless people in California exist because of his money. Six years ago, he also opened a help center for children who were abused. And all of that he does simply because he cares.
And he never brags about it. He doesn't go to charity events or give interviews to the press. He does everything he can to help.
That's what kind of man Daniel Vanderbilt really is under the mask of a rude, aggressive businessman.
I wish I’d never found out all of those things. Because now I know for sure that he's a wonderful man who simply can't get over his own demons, and that's why he needs that club.
That means we could never be together. It's just fate.
"May I come in?" a deep, low baritone says from behind me, and I jump in surprise, turning to face the door.
For a couple of seconds, it seems like I'm imagining things. Daniel Vanderbilt is standing in the doorway of my room, three thousand miles away from LA.
"I'm sorry," he says and takes a step closer. "I knocked twice before coming in, but you didn't hear it."
He smiles slightly, closing the door behind him.
"Thinking about something important?" he says because I still haven't answered, standing with an open mouth.
Yes, you, I think but do not say it out loud.
Daniel came to me at the dormitory. But why? After graduation, we haven't seen each other. He never came to my home or called me, not even once.
"What are you doing here?" I ask. My voice is shaking, my legs are weak, and I'm afraid that I've already started hallucinating because of how much I've missed him.
"Looking for you," he says honestly, his eyes locked with mine.
He has changed a lot since the last time I saw him. He obviously lost some weight. His cheeks are sunken, and his high cheekbones have gotten even sharper. He has dark circles under his eyes and looks tired.
"I missed you, Savi, so much I can't breathe," he continues, exhaling loudly as if it's hard for him to speak.
And it's just as hard for me to hear that.
"I can't live without you in my life, Savi," he continues but does not move any more.
He took a couple of steps in my direction but stopped, waiting for my reaction. Waiting for my response, at least.
I should say something, anything, but I can't.
And I know I'll probably regret it later, but I take two steps closer and throw myself into his arms.
We hug and kiss and melt into each other for I don't know how long. My body trembles in his arms, desperately begging for this moment not to end.