"Thank you," I say and wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my body to his for a hug.
He doesn't know how to react for a couple of seconds, probably because we haven't hugged for more than a year, but then he opens his arms and squeezes me.
Oh gosh, he smells incredible: the heat of his body mixed with a menthol shaving gel and citrus shower oil. He smells like sand in the ocean.
I involuntarily inhale so profoundly that I can hear my own loud breathing.
Oh my God, now he knows that I admire his scent.
That same moment when I want to say something, he pulls away, letting me go, and looks at me as if I have just done something idiotic.
That's when I realize that I probably smell of sweat and junk food after spending so many hours in the airplane.
Why the hell did I decide to hug him? He probably feels nauseous now, and that's why he pulled away.
That's precisely why I didn't want to meet him today. I wanted to take a shower, wash my hair and straighten it like I always did before. I wanted to put on some makeup before he saw me.
And now it's all ruined because I told him exactly when I was arriving, and he decided to surprise me.
It's all my fault.
"I'm sorry I came uninvited," he says, almost whispering, probably so my mom won’t hear us.
"That's okay, I'm glad you came," I lie, trying to smile.
Of course, I wanted to see him, and I also wanted him to see me: tanned, skinnier, with full makeup and styled hair, wearing something sexy and not just shorts and sneakers.
I wanted him to finally notice me, to realize that I exist, see me as a woman, not only as a friend.
But that will never happen. He doesn't even want to hug me, not even after he didn't see me for so long.
I missed you...I want to say, but I’m not able to pronounce the words.
"Tyler, is that you?" I hear my mom's voice, and we both turn to face her.
Chapter Five
Kylie
I'm taking a shower while the man of my dreams is talking to my mother in our kitchen. I've been washing for more than twenty minutes, but it seems like I still smell of zebras and elephants because we lived in a natural reserve for so long.
I know I should hurry up. Tyler probably can't spend the whole evening with me; he might have other plans. I know his life is quite busy preparing for the Olympics and being with all those girls who stand in line to sleep with him because of how awesome he is.
I know that even if he's free to spend the whole evening with me, he's a swimmer who wakes up early every day and goes to sleep no later than twelve, so I'll have to let him go.
Even if I don't want to, even if I want him to stay with me forever.
I decide not to put any makeup on since he already saw my bare face. Luckily, my tan hides the dark circles under my eyes, which I always try to hide with a concealer.
I also have no time to straighten my hair, which I used to do when I lived in California. I couldn't walk into the school without my hair styled because I was ashamed of it. In seventh grade, one of my classmates said I looked like a sheep who wasn't shaved. I cried for two hours that day, and after that I made sure to straighten my hair all the time.
But those days are over. I'm a new person now, a grown-up Kylie who is ready for everything Tyler Parish can give—and not only his friendship.
I put on a blue silk dress to emphasize my eyes. Tyler always admired how my eyes can look so blue. They really are more intense than others’; I have noticed that too. And now they seem even brighter with my tan.
I smile. I'll do anything to make him mine. And this time, I won't wait. I'll take matters into my own hands. I'll make him notice me, see me, the real me—not his school friend, not his neighbor, not the person who helps him with literature classes; me, the girl who's been deeply and madly in love with him through all these years.
I have to tell him about my feelings. It's just that...I'm so afraid that I stop breathing even when I think about it. What if he rejects me? What if he will never be able to feel what I feel?