"Oh. How did you know I'd be here?"
Jackson looked to the ground before meeting my eyes. "I actually didn't expect to see you here at all. Your Mom never spends this day alone, Bailey. I've made sure that for the past five years I am always here. I spend the morning with her. We come here, and then I take her out for breakfast. Sometimes, Ryan joins us, but he had some work-related things he had to do this morning, so he asked me to tell your mom he was sorry he couldn't make it. That's what I told her before she went and sat down. Normally, I meet her here at eight, but I just happened to be running a little late this morning."
I didn't know what to say to his admission. I had no idea that he had been doing this for the past five years. "Why has Mom never mentioned it to me?"
"I didn't want you to know, so I asked her not to say anything," he said, looking to the ground. "If you think you're the only one who carries guilt around with you that night, you're wrong, Bailey."
I didn't know what to say. I looked into the blue eyes I'd loved so much and saw a mountain of emotion. "Is that what the nightmares are about, that night?"
Jackson nodded. "Every one. They are always the same. I watch the whole thing happen as I am running towards them, but feel like I get nowhere. I didn't get there in time. Now, the nightmares remind me that I let us fall apart."
"You didn't let us fall apart," I said quietly.
"Didn't I? The night of the shooting, I promised your brother right before he died that I'd always look after you. When things got tough between us, I let him down. So it’s not only the guilt of me not being there to help him when he needed us, but now it’s the guilt of breaking my promise to him of not being able to protect you and keep you safe."
"Is that what you were dreaming about the other night?" I questioned.
"Yes. They've been worse this year than ever. Although, aside from the one night, they've all stopped the nights you were with me."
"Really."
"Yes," Jackson said, stepping in closer to me. "With you around, they are almost non-existent. I know you hate my job, I know you hate the fact I'm in danger, but it’s what I signed up to do. I love my job, just like your brother loved his."
I felt the tears start to well in my eyes again. I went to turn away to hide, but Jackson wouldn't allow it. He stepped in and wrapped his arms tightly around me, pulling me against him.
"I know," I whimpered.
"Let it all go," he whispered to me.
I cried into his chest, releasing all the guilt that I felt over the death of my brother. I allowed myself to stay in the safety of his arms for a long while after the tears had finally stopped.
"I don't want you to leave," he whispered, kissing my forehead.
"I don't want to leave either," I said, looking up into his eyes.
"Then don't. Stay here and marry me," he said, leaning down and meeting my lips for a quick kiss.
Once we parted, I looked into his eyes. "Are you kidding?"
"I want to spend my life with you. That’s all I've ever wanted. I know this isn't the perfect place to ask you, and I promise to actually propose for real in someplace more romantic than this, but I really do want to spend the rest of my life with you."
I thought about his words. It was all I ever wanted deep down as well. "I love you," I whispered as he kissed me again. "Yes, I will marry you. This honestly couldn't be a more perfect place to propose."
20
Bailey - Six Months Later
I grabbed the last bag of groceries from the car, resting it on my hip as I shut the door on my car. I was just about to head into the house when Jackson pulled into the driveway and cut the engine. He hopped out and made his way over to me.
"Hey, sweetie, let me carry that for you," he said, taking the bag from me and pressing his lips to mine. "How are you feeling today?"
I rested my hand on my barely protruding belly and smiled. "Fine. A little tired, but good."
Jackson leaned in to kiss me again, this time placing his hand on top of mine just in time to feel the baby kick for the first time.
"Did you feel that?" he questioned, and then laughed. "My son's already trying to bust out of there."
"Your son? What if it's a girl?"