She let out a breath. "Did you want anything from the kitchen?"
I shook my head. "Nope, just you."
She wandered over and sat down beside me. I lay down and put my head in her lap, then flipped the channels until I found a movie for us to watch. Halfway through the movie, I noticed that Bailey had stopped watching and was now just staring out the front window.
"You okay?" I asked. "You've been very quiet all afternoon."
She looked down at me as her eyes welled with tears. "Jackson, I—I can't do this."
"You can't do what?"
"This. I can't do this. I can't be with you and be so afraid that every time you walk out that door you won't come back. I can't take it."
"Babe, Hey...I'll always come home. You don't need to worry about that."
"Those were the same words my brother always told us, and look what happened. Look what just happened. You could have died on that table in that hospital...You could have..." Sobs wracked her body as she buried her face into her hands.
I carefully sat up and was about to wrap my arms around her when she got up from the couch. She grabbed her purse and coat and turned to look at me, her eyes red and watery.
"I'm sorry. I just can't do this with you again. I have to go."
I didn't have time to say anything before she bolted out the front door, down the steps, and I watched from the window as she got into her car and peeled out of my driveway.
19
Bailey
The dark-grey cloudysky matched my mood perfectly this morning. I took a hot shower, dried my hair, and got dressed, then made my way to the kitchen for a quick cup of coffee before going to meet Mom. I was still hunting for a place just on the outskirts of Sunnyville. I couldn't stay here. There were just too many memories that still haunted me, and one man I knew I would never get over if I ran into him all the time.
After Jackson had returned home from the hospital and I ran out on him, I vowed not to return to see him. I'd come home in a panic and let Mom know that, as soon as I could arrange it, I would be leaving. I knew Mom had cried herself to sleep that night because I could hear the sobs coming from her bedroom. I felt awful, but in the morning, she made me promise her I wouldn't move too far away this time. She also made me promise to have dinner with her every Sunday, either at my place or at hers. I took one look at my mother's sad eyes and couldn't refuse, and that was why when she had asked me to accompany her to the cemetery, I couldn't tell her no.
I pulled my car up along side the cemetery and cut the engine. This was the first time since the day we buried my brother that I had returned to this spot. I leaned back against the seat, trying to calm the feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I took my time walking over to my brother's grave site. I could already see Mom in the distance on her hands and knees, planting some new flowers in place of the old ones that were there. I hung my head and continued my slow walk, stopping behind her. I stood there listening to her hum one of her favorite songs as she always did while digging in the dirt.
"Those were his favorite colors," I said, looking down at the mix of blue and white flowers.
"Yes, and they needed to be replanted badly. I neglected them long enough, so I figured today was as good a day as any," she said, placing the last of the flowers in the hole she had dug and began refilling it with soil. Once she was finished, she leaned back and looked down at the work she had done.
"How is Jackson doing?"
I shrugged. "Okay, I guess."
"Bailey, you mean to tell me that you really haven't spoken to him? Goodness, the man was shot. He may need help with things around the house."
I shook my head, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. I was feeling overly emotional today and really didn't want to talk about Jackson.
"He'll be okay. Ryan and Cara have been checking in on him. He's in good hands."
Mom stood up and brushed the dirt off the knees of her pants, then looked at me. "Bailey, I always promised never to get involved in your private life. But there comes a time when a mother gets tired of watching her daughter make the same mistakes over and over again."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked defensively.
"It means that you’re being a stubborn fool. You love the man. I know you have been seeing him."
"No, I haven't."
"Bailey, I'm not stupid you know. I know you snuck off with him the night of the wedding, and I know you have been sneaking around with him ever since. All those times you claimed you claimed you were with Cara, I know the real truth. You were with Jackson."