"I don't know. Mom wants me to take her. I just don't know if I'm feeling up to it. Did you want something to drink?"
"I'll have a soda." Cara smiled, shrugged her coat off, and placed it on a stool beside her.
I quickly poured her a glass and placed it down in front of her. She took a sip of her drink and smiled at me. "You see Jackson lately?"
"Seriously?" I questioned, turning my back toward her and continuing to place the glasses from the dishwasher to the bar.
"What?"
"Did you come here to see me, or talk about him?" I sounded annoyed, I knew I did, but this was exactly the stress I'd been talking about when I told him I wasn't ready to get involved again.
"I came here to see you. I just figured you guys looked pretty chummy at our wedding and perhaps a spark lit."
I had zero right to bite her head off the way I had. "Sorry."
"It's okay. I will take that as a yes then."
I turned and rolled my eyes at her. "Seriously, just ask me what you want to know."
"Are you guys back together? Amanda was sure she saw you two at the movies the other night," she questioned leaning forward on the bar. Exactly the Cara I knew. She wasted no time in asking me what she wanted to know.
"We have spent time together, yes."
"Is it serious?"
I closed my eyes and tried to figure out what to say. Was it serious? I wanted to say yes, I wanted to say we were back together, but after what had happened the other night, I wasn't sure.
"I have no idea," I said in a low voice. "Why?"
"No reason."
"Cara?" I knew she knew something, and I wasn't going to settle for her asking all these questions without giving me the courtesy of telling me what she knew.
"He stopped in at the house last night. He helped Ryan work on the car."
"That's nice, but I don't understand what him dropping by the house has to do with how serious we are?" I said, turning to finish putting glasses up on the shelves.
"Bailey, I went out to drop off a couple of beers, and I heard him talking about you. They were under the car and had no idea I was even there. He's concerned. He loves you. He said that you ran off the other night."
I was so glad that I wasn't facing her at that given moment. I could feel my eyes starting to burn at her words, and I closed them tight to stop the tears from falling. I knew he loved me. I knew he loved me when I walked out on him, and I knew deep down inside I loved him.
"I know," I answered weakly and swallowed hard, trying to clear the large lump that sat in my throat. "I love him too," I said, turning and looking over at my friend. It was the first time I'd admitted I had feelings for him to another person in a long time.
"Oh, Bailey, what happened?"
I took a deep breath, not sure if I was really ready to talk about it. Yet I knew that I needed to, no matter how much it hurt. "It was the same thing that happened when I left the first time. He still won't talk to me, Cara."
"He won't talk to you?"
"About Connor."
"So Ryan barely talks to me about work things. That's what he uses the others for. Don't be so hard on him."
"Hard on him. Please, I was nothing more than patient. Do you know he still has those nightmares? We spent the night together, and the other night I woke up to arms flailing and him talking in his sleep, sweating up a storm. Do you have any clue how it makes me feel when I ask him about it, and he just says it’s nothing, don't worry about it? We both suffered a loss, but when he feels I should talk to him and he won't talk to me, what am I supposed to do?"
Cara looked at me, sadness in her eyes. I knew she had the best intentions coming here, but she was opening up a territory she knew very little about. Jackson and I had kept most of this part of our troubles secret. I was sure everyone knew exactly why we parted ways, but neither of us had shared openly with our friends. She was about to say something when the door opened and three couples walked in, followed by another two. I had never been happier to see people than I was at that moment. This was a conversation I couldn't have right now.
"Look, I have to go," I said, signaling to the empty tables and grabbing a pile of menus.