"What did your parents say?" I asked as I sat there trying to focus and re-read the letter, but it did little good, so I started flipping through the bundle of paperwork.
"They were angry. Furious, actually," she said, picking at one of her nails.
"Are... Are you going to go?" I asked. I could feel tightness in my chest that hadn't been there before, but now that I'd asked her the question, it didn't seem to want to let up.
"Well, I thought that perhaps you would want to go with me. I'm sure my parents would feel better about it if you were with me. Plus, there is so much opportunity out there, and it would only be for a little while. I mean, the contract is only for a year. I want you to go with me."
My stomach hurt at the thought of her leaving me, and it was getting harder and harder for me to breathe. It reminded me of the time that I had gotten tackled in one of my high school football games. The guy had come charging at me and knocked me flat on my ass. I hadn't even seen him coming. When we collided, I went flying, and when I landed, he had knocked the air right out of me. This was no different. She had tackled me, just differently.
"Jess, I don't think I can. I mean, our business is here."
"Sure you can, come on. You can build and remodel homes anywhere. You can do exactly what you're doing now."
"Unfortunately, I can't. Dad's company is here. We have worked hard to make Sunset Builders what they are today. I can't just leave him. Especially not after my mom walked out on him. He needs Julie and I."
"Well, it's only for a little while. What about if I go and we trya long-distance relationship?"
"Nothing about a year is short, it’s a long time, Jess. I want to build my life with you in it, not build it with you being halfway across the country. Besides, what if you decide you like it so much you don't want to return?"
"Then come with me."
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the headrest. I could barely catch my breath. My heart was beating so hard it was making me dizzy. It hurt to breathe, and when I opened my eyes, the lights of the city were hazy and seemed so far away.
"Ben, please."
"Jess, I’m sorry. There is no way I can go. I just can't drop the projects I am working on, and I won't abandon my father."
I finally looked over at Jess, who quickly turned her face away from me. I watched her wipe a tear from her cheek, making me feel like even more of an ass.
"Why is it that everything is alwaysabout you?" she bit out, ripping the pile of papers from my hand, and shoving them back in the envelope. "Take me home."
"Jess, come on. Talk to me about this?"
"There isn't anything more to talk about. You’ve made your thoughts perfectly clear. Take me home, please."
I didn't want us to be over,but it terrified me that there was no way around this. Jess was stubborn when she got angry. I couldn't look at her, so I turned and looked out my window. I did not want to watch any more of her tears. I couldn't because they were tears I had caused.
"Please, Ben, just take me home," she whispered.
The drive home felt like forever. Neither of us spoke. Jessica just kept wiping her face with the back of her hand, making me feel even worse than I had before. When we pulled into her driveway, I turned to apologize and tell her I loved her and that we would figure out a way to make it work, but when I went to speak, she shoved her hand at me, her fist closed.
"What is this?" I questioned.
"It's your ring. I can't do this. It's always your way, and I refuse to live my life this way." My heart ripped in two when she dropped the ring into the palm of my hand. I looked down at the ring I had saved for, and before I said anything, she was out of the car and running toward her front door.
My fingers closed around the ring as I watched her close the inside door. I sat there for a minute, once again trying to catch my breath, trying to decide if I should try to talk to her. The porch light went off,and that was when I decided that I would let her cool off for the night and backed out of her driveway.
Ten minutes later, I set the ring on my bedside table and flopped facedown on my bed. She didn't mean what she said, I was sure of it, or maybe I was just trying to convince myself. I'd sleep on it and go over in the morning to talk to her. I was sure that after a good night's sleep on both our parts, we'd talk, and everything would go back to normal.
* * *
It feltas if it had been the longest day of my life that I'd had on the job site in a long time. I wasirritated. Even minor things were bothering me waymore than they normally did. I was even pulled aside by my father late in the morning because I'd disagreed with one worker and he’d complained.
"Dad, I’m going to take off," I said, approaching my father at the end of my shift.
"Okay, son, see you at home," he said, continuing on with the conversation he was having.
I drove through the city, not bothering to go home first to shower. Instead I made my way over to Jessica's house. She hadn't messaged me throughout the day, but I hoped that by the time I got to her house she would at least speak with me. I had given everything she had said a great deal of thought while I had worked throughout the day, and I realized that I hadn't really been fair, so I hoped that we could come to an agreement.