"Care to elaborate?" she asked while picking a piece of pepperoni off her pizza and shoving it into her mouth.
"Remember Rod?"
"As in my Rod?" she questioned, frowning at me for bringing him up.
"Yeah."
"You remember what he used to do to you?"
Julie went quiet. Her relationship with Rod wasn't one we talked about much, if ever, after what had happened. Rod was a womanizer. Jules had confronted him on the fact that she had seen him out with another woman, and that night she had called me in a panic to come and get her. I had rushed to her place, but I was too late. I had found her facedown in a pool of her own blood with a broken nose and fractured jaw. I got her to safety, and then I had gone back and waited for him to return home. Once he did, I beat him within an inch of his life.
"It's not something I could easily forget," she mumbled. "Why are you bringing him up?” Her eyes grew wide. “Oh God, he wasn't there, was he?"
"No, he wasn't there, but I think him and Jess's husband could be related." I chuckled. "Jess admitted to me today that her husband, or ex-husband, abuses her. I swear,Jules, I saw red. I wanted to tear the guy limb from limb."
"Ben, it's not your place," Julie warned.
"I know but seriously, Jules..."
"Seriously what? You want to take a swing at him? I had to fight hard to keep you out of jail after what you did to Rod. I can't do it again. You can't do it again. She isn't yours to protect. She's a distant memory,at best."
I thought hard about what Jules was saying. The ache in my gut said differently. "All right, so then what do I do?"
"Walk away. I can also tell you what not to do. Don't let her push her hard-luck story on you. She made her decisiona long time ago."
"If she didn't want me to tell her what to do, then why did she bother telling me at all?"
"Ben, I can't answer for her. Maybe she is lonely and scared, whatever, but just stay out of it."
"Let me ask you, why did you tell me about Rod?"
"You're my brother. Besides, I was different, and I was almost too late. Ben, I was facedown in a pool of my blood. He would have killed me if I stayed. She told you because she feels she can trust you."
"Jules, what am I supposed to do?"
"Just support her and be her friend. Be there to listen when she needs it. Just don't get involved with her again. She hurt you so badly. You need to meet a nice girl. One who will be happy with the life you can provide."
I sat back against the chair and threw the slice of pizza I was about to sink my teeth into back onto the plate. "Why would you think I would try to get her back?"
Jules looked dumbfounded. "Really, Ben? You have to ask? You're still carrying around a ring you gave her years ago. I don't really know why that thought would even cross my mind."
"So what? So I carry around a memento!"
"No," she laughed to herself. "No, Ben, I know you. It's not a memento. It's something that represents her. Honestly, I think the fact of the matter is you have never let her go. I think you have held onto a dream of her coming back and wanting another chance. Regardless, you really need to let her go. I don't want to see you get hurt again. So just please take my advice, like I took yours when I didn't want to trust anyone."
Jules was right, I had never let Jess go, and now was not the time to try toget her back, no matter how badly I may have thought I might want another chance with her. I nodded, picking up my slice of pizza and biting off a mouthful. "Thanks for the talk, Jules," I said, raising my beer bottle to hers and clinked them together.
We ate the rest of our dinner in silence and then watched the rest of the hockey game. Before Jules left, she gave me a hand cleaning up the kitchen, and then she was on her way out my door, leaving me to fight my own demons for the night.
* * *
I stood in the hallway on the other side of the door to apartment 2501. I could hear her voice through the door, and then another female voice, then two women laughed. It sounded good to hear Jess laugh like that. I held onto the coffees I had brought and knocked gently on the door. It was early, only nine, and I was showing up unannounced, but I figured perhaps Jess would like to go with me to order the granite for the countertops and the tile this morning.
The door was abruptly pulled open, and I watched as first shock and then a slight smile spread across her face. "Good morning," she said hesitantly, "I didn't forget about an appointment with you, did I?"
I glanced inside and saw a petite blond sitting on the couch. "No, I just thought you might like to join me to pick the tiles and granite for the countertops. If you are busy, I can go andget it done."
Jess glanced over her shoulder at the blond who nodded and stood. "Guess that is my cue," she said, giggling.