The three of them exchanged a knowing glance, then looked back at me. "So, you want her because of the baby?" Hunter questioned.
"No. I want her no matter what. I can't get her out of my fucking mind. She's everything. Everything about her is fucking amazing."
There was the truth. It had finally moved past my lips and was now out in the open. I felt a ton of weight lifted from my shoulders for finally speaking the actual truth. I'd had a taste of her, and I didn't want to be without her, regardless of a baby. I wanted Sophie.
"Have you told her?" Carter questioned.
I shook my head. "Look, I saw the look in her eyes, that look of disappointment. I saw the look, and I know what that look means. She wants nothing more to do with me."
"Yeah, well, you don't know that until you tell her how you feel. Give her a chance to respond to your feelings."
All through dinner, I listened to each of my brothers do their best to convince me that I should talk with her and share my feelings. I also came up with every single excuse that I could think of as to why this was a very bad idea. Although, no matter what my excuses, they combated them with a reason why I was just being a coward. At the end of the night, accepting what I’d been telling myself, I’d come to the conclusion that there was no way I could tell her. I sat in the parking lot and watched as each of my brothers left.
I sat in my car, alone, rethinking each of their advice while I waited for the engine to warm, my mind constantly racing back to her face this afternoon as she stood there telling me that there was no baby. I looked at the clock; it was close to midnight. I knew she would still be up. At least I hoped she would be as I put my car into drive and pulled out of the parking lot. My brothers were right; I would regret not telling her how I felt for the rest of my life, and living with that would be harder than coming clean and telling her how I felt.
I drove through the city thinking of what I was going to say to her when I finally saw her. Should I just swoop in, grab her in my arms, kiss her, and confess everything? I stood in the elevator of her building tapping my foot impatiently as I was lifted to her floor. I ran down the hall and stopped outside of her door, then I inhaled deeply and banged on it. I wasn't going to give her the chance not to answer. I banged again, and finally the door was abruptly opened and a red-nosed, tear-stained face stood before me.
"Chase? What on earth?"
I pushed my way into her apartment, grabbing her and pulling her into me. "You, you're what I want." I pressed my lips to hers and pulled away. "Marry me?"
"Chase." She pushed her hands on my chest, trying to push me away. "Let me go."
"Not until you promise me you'll marry me."
"Let go of me!" she barked, finally pushing me hard enough that I stumbled. "You’ve been drinking! I don’t want you to only want me when you are drunk. I want you to want me sober."
"I’ve had a couple beers, but I'm not drunk."
"You are. I can taste it on you."
"Sophie, I'm not. Fuck, I love you." Sure, I'd probably had too much to drink. I probably shouldn't have driven, and this was far from my smoothest performance to date, but what I was saying was the truth. It was how I felt.
"I can't do this, Chase. Please." Her hand covered her mouth and a tear escaped her eye. "Please, just go."
She turned away from me, and her shoulders started to shake. I reached out to her to pull her into my arms to comfort her, but she was too quick and stepped out of my reach. I wanted her. I wanted her so damn bad, and I stepped forward and placed my hand on her arm, but she ripped herself away from me.
"I told you to go."
I didn't say anything. I just stood there looking at her. Looking at the curves I wished to touch, the hair I longed to run my fingers through, and the body I wished to hold and worship while she lay beneath me. I had committed those feelings to memory. I’d committed those memories to mine. There was no winning. She wasn’t going to change her mind, so, without a word, I walked out of her condo, shutting the door behind me. Behind us.
21
Sophie - 5 monthslater
It was cold and blustery out. I glanced out my office window to see the mess of snow falling. I dug into my dish of Moo Shu Pork that Jenna had so kindly brought to me. She sat across from me rooting through her purse for her dental floss, finally finding the little blue container.
"I should have had you bring me two of these—one for now and one for tomorrow night." I giggled.
"I have no problem doing this again tomorrow night. I'll even grab two of those to-die-for cinnamon rolls from Aroma Mocha," Sophie said as she shoved the remainder of her egg roll in her mouth.
"Well that sounds like a date that I’m not going to pass up!"
"Have you heard from..."
I was about to hold my hand up to stop her from asking when Carol popped her head into my office.
"You lovelies have any hot plans for tonight?"