I lay on my left side staring out at the lights of the city. We had made love long into the wee hours of the morning. I still hadn't slept—I couldn't—and I glanced at the clock to see that it was almost five. I would have to get up soon.
Chase lay beside me snoring gently, his one arm under my neck, his other resting gently across my waist. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about the feel of his hands as they caressed my body, or the way he gripped me tighter as he sank himself deeply into me. I couldn't forget the way he looked at me, the words he had whispered or the way he called my name as his muscles tightened, for the first time, as he came.
I smiled to myself at the memory and laced my fingers between his, bringing his hand up to my lips, kissing him. He stirred and pulled me closer to him. "What is it? Everything okay?" he whispered, placing a kiss on my bare shoulder, pulling me back tighter against him.
"Yes. Go back to sleep," I whispered, snuggling against him. Within seconds, he was breathing against my shoulder, lightly snoring again. As soon as I said those words, it hit me like a train.
In a few short hours, we would be over. Even though I knew the single Chase, I also knew that no matter what type of relationship he was in at the time, he was totally committed. I started wondering what it would be like to be with him like this forever. Every night coming home after a long day and curling against him. I couldn't help but watch him with his nieces tonight, how much they loved him, and how much he loved them. He had gotten down on the floor with them after dinner and allowed them to crawl all over him until Hunter had finally called them off.
I wondered what he would be like as a father, wondered if he would change and be like his brothers if someone really caught his eye. I let out a deep breath. There was no point in wishing it were me who caught his eye because it would never become reality. We had made the agreement. There was no going back on it now.
In the morning, Chase would be gone and our lives would return to normal. He would go back home, back to his single life, and to the women who waited for him. I would go back to tax returns and boring dates, and perhaps in nine months the pitter-patter of tiny feet. I had no right to be sad; this was what I had wanted. Yet when I closed my eyes, I had to fight all the thoughts out of my mind and try to get at least a half hour of sleep before I had to get up and start my day.
18
Chase
It had been six weeks since I had left Sophie's. Life had returned to a new normal for me. I sat in my office, files sprawled all over my desktop. I was trying to work my way through the pile before I left for the afternoon. I had been busy and had spent the better part of the last few weeks in client meetings. I had been in contract negotiations with two clients who seemed to take joy in not being able to agree on anything.
"Fuck," I said out loud with a huff as I slapped the file down on my desk, hung up my phone, and checked my watch. I'd have loved to blame my clients for all of my stress, but that wouldn't have been fair because they weren't the reason I was stressing. As a matter of fact, I should be thanking them because they had kept me busy enough to keep my mind off the true stressor: Sophie. I had been thankful at first, but now it seemed both were getting on my nerves.
I got up and shut the door to my office. It was loud in the hall, and I was just about to make a call to my three o'clock appointment to reschedule, since I still didn't have all of the information from them that I had requested. I had just begun to dial when someone knocked on my door.
"Come in," I called, sitting the phone back into the cradle.
"Hey, man. How are things?" Hunter asked as he sat down across from me.
"They're fine, I guess," I answered, letting out an irritated huff.
"What's wrong? Is it the case you're working on?" he asked, spinning the file around and taking a look.
"That and a few other things. I swear these clients just revel in agreeing to disagree, and the other ones haven't provided me with all the information I asked for over a week ago."
"Come on, you aren't new. You know what people are like. If everyone agreed, we wouldn't have a job. As for the information, just keep billing them for every hour that they waste. They will eventually get tired of paying your fee and get you what you need. However, I don't think that is the only thing that is bothering you." He spun the file back around and sat back in his chair.
"It's not."
"Well, what is it?"
I let out a breath and put my hands behind my head. "How long does it normally take to find out if you're pregnant?"
Hunter let out a laugh. "It’s not something you should be worrying about, Chase. You won't ever be pregnant."
I looked at Hunter as he continued to laugh at his own poor excuse of a joke. "You know what I mean. Shouldn't Sophie know by now? I mean her medical appointment was this morning, and it’s been almost four weeks."
"She might know, she may not. Have you asked her?"
I shook my head, running my hand over my face. "No."
"Well, instead of sitting here torturing yourself, you should try that. In my experience, that is the best way to get an answer. What are you doing for lunch?"
"I already ate. I ordered in."
"All right, man, I'll talk with you later. Call her, ask her, and put an end to your suffering."
"Yep, I'm calling," I said, picking up the phone.
Hunter waved at me and shut the door behind him, leaving me with a quiet office and my own thoughts. I dialed her cell phone and sat there listening to it ring. "Come on, pick up," I whispered. I jumped when I heard her voice, but the excitement eased when I realized it was her voice mail requesting that I leave a message and she would return my call within a day. I threw my cell phone down on the desk and ran my hand over my face. Fuck, I couldn't wait a day. I dialed her home line instead, only to arrive to the same conclusion—a damn voice mail.