I took a sip of wine, set the glass down, and then cleared my throat. "Sophie, listen, before we get started here, I think we need to go over a few things."
Her eyes met mine in question. "Okay," she said hesitantly, unsure of where I might be going with this.
There was no easy way to bring this up, so I set the documents on the table in front of her. "Okay, so don't be angry with me, but I need you to sign these."
"What is it?" she asked, picking the documents up off the table, reading the top page, a frown settling on her face as she glanced at the document. "An NDA? You want me to sign an NDA? Why?"
"It's not only an NDA but also a contract. It just states that I am only responsible for providing you with sperm, that is it. That you won't come after me for things such as child support. It also states that I don't want visitation, and that I won't come after you for custody in the future. The NDA is just to ensure that this…transaction, if you will, will remain solely between us. That it won't get out that I am the father of the baby."
I watched as she read through the documents silently. "Chase, I don't understand." She swallowed hard as she flipped through them again. As I watched her, I could see her cheeks getting flush, and she was breathing rapidly as her eyes began to get glassy. I could tell she was struggling with this, and that was exactly what I didn't want.
I reached out and placed my hand on her arm. "Don't worry. It’s just to protect us both." I thought I was going to have to keep explaining, but she reached for the pen that was sitting on the table and quickly scribbled her name on the bottom line of both documents. Then she passed me the pen without making eye contact, and I too signed the agreement.
I set the folder off to the side and picked up the glass of wine that sat in front of me and held it out. "I'd like to propose a toast," I said, waiting for her to pick up her glass. She let out a little huff and looked at me, and with a little shake in her hand, she picked up her glass and held it out towards me.
"Here's to one week. Let’s hope my swimmers travel far and everything goes well to give you what you want," I said, clinking my glass against hers. I brought my glass up to my lips and sipped the cool liquid. Instead of drinking from hers, Sophie set the glass down on the table and jumped up off the couch. I watched as she walked across the room without saying anything, and then she stopped and lifted her hand to her eyes before turning around to look at me.
"Can you please excuse me for a moment. I, um, I need a minute." Before I could stop her, she had walked down the hall, leaving me alone in the living.
11
Sophie
The panic had started way before Chase had even arrived. It had started with shopping and had gotten worse by the time he had knocked on the door. The contract was what had literally sealed the deal. I did everything in my power not to shake as I signed my name on that very solid black line, and I had held it all together perfectly, until he had raised his glass and made that toast. As our glasses clinked together, I knew there was no way I would be able to take a sip of wine.
I had managed to walk away, my chest heavy, tears burning in my eyes. I had gotten out the words in time before that solid lump settled right in the middle of my throat, constricting my voice.
He, of course, agreed, letting me know he would be right there waiting for me when I returned. I practically ran across the plush carpet and into the bathroom, every step of the way fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. I closed the door behind me and leaned up against it, closing my eyes tightly.
I needed somewhere private and quiet, just in case I started to cry. I didn't want Chase to hear me. I didn't want him to know that it was his contract that had upset me. I also didn't want him to know that, right at this moment, I wasn't sure I wanted him to be out there when I returned. I tried to fight back the tears, but before I knew it, a single tear fell from the corner of my right eye, making a path for more to follow. What the hell was I even doing?
I tried to calm myself, but the more I thought about this entire situation, the more upset I became. I stepped in front of the mirror and wiped the tears from my cheeks and looked at my reflection. I was the one who had proposed everything like a business deal. I was the one who had mapped it all out. He was right, this was a transaction, nothing more. A simple exchange, if you will.
What had I really expected him to do? He's a lawyer—a very smart and successful one at that. Of course, he was going to want to protect himself; he would be stupid not to. I would be stupid not to protect myself too, but this was Chase, a man I had known my entire life and one I trusted very much. I didn't think I needed to protect myself against him.
I picked up my pressed powder compact and smoothed some on my skin, trying to get rid of the tear lines. I checked my reflection in the mirror.
Perhaps he was right and a contract would be for the best. Even though Chase was my best friend, I couldn't imagine raising a child with him. The man was a successful lawyer, but his personal life was a complete disaster. With him not wanting to be in the picture, I didn't need to worry about co-parenting. I wouldn't have to worry about someone spending their time undermining what rules I had put into place. Besides, I couldn't even begin to imagine Chase raising a child. I had seen him with his brothers’ kids; he was a nightmare.
The last time he had watched Hunter and Autumn's little girls I was called to the rescue because one of them had gotten gum in her hair and he panicked. A little ice and it came right out. I laughed at the memory. I remembered walking in the door and finding Chase with a pair of scissors and a screaming child begging Uncle Chase not to cut her hair. I smiled to myself and the memory, swallowed hard, checked over my makeup, and let out a breath. This was the right choice. He was right.
I ran my brush through my hair and shut the light off. I made my way back down the hall and walked back out into the living room. Chase was still sitting on the couch in the same place I'd left him. I walked around and sat down beside him, picking up my glass and drinking down my wine. I glanced to Chase, and the more I looked into his trusting blue eyes, the more I felt I needed to drink. I grabbed the bottle I had left on the table and poured myself another full glass, drinking that one down just as fast—if not faster than the first one. The tension in the room was so thick that I was having a hard time breathing.
He watched me as I poured my third glass of wine, emptying the remainder of the bottle into my glass. "Whoa, Soph, slow down," he said, taking my glass from me. "We have all night, sweets." He placed his hand on my thigh, giving me a squeeze.
I smiled at the nickname “sweets,” a name he had given me when we were fifteen, and one he had never let go of. I swallowed hard. My eyes burned, and the jumbled ball that sat in the pit of my stomach was making me uncomfortable. I was beyond nervous, and I suddenly wondered how on earth we were going to do this, especially if I felt this way just sitting here beside him fully dressed.
"Everything okay?" he asked. I nodded as he took my hand in his. "So how did you want to go about this?" he whispered.
I thought for a moment. HowdidI want to go about this? I had no clue. I figured he would have had it all figured out; he was far more experienced than I was in this department. I let out the breath I was holding and shook my head. "I dunno. Perhaps…perhaps, maybe we should kiss first." I shrugged.
"Okay, we can do that."
He stood from the couch and reached for my hands, pulling me to my feet. He pulled me closer to him. The smell of his cologne and the touch of his hand on my waist sent a chill through my body. His hand didn't remain on my waist for long because, as quickly as he touched me, he pulled his hand away as if he had been burned. Instead, he gripped my hand with his and pulled our hands between us. He leaned in, turning his head in the same direction I had turned mine. We were as awkward as we had been the first time he had kissed me, only that time he had succeeded.
"This isn't going to work," I mumbled, frustrated, placing my hand on his broad chest and pushing him away.
"Whoa, whoa, what isn't?"