"No, and what makes me angry now is that people are still coddling me as if I am some sort of broken human being, but honestly, Lex, that is my answer. I'm not all that upset.
"Really?"
"Yes, and you know you are the only person who has ever asked what really happened from my point of view. All they keep doing is imposing their feelings on me. What about you? How are you doing now after the news tonight?"
I buried my face into his chest and lay there thinking about the news our parents had dropped on us. "If I tell you something, promise to keep it between us?"
"Of course."
"It's killing me," I whispered. "Mom kept wondering why I came home and brought all my stuff. I'm lonely, Drew. People think I have the coolest job in the world, getting to travel and see all these amazing places. It's the exact opposite. I miss everything. I miss birthdays, and holidays, and time just spent with my family."
"Do you think it would help if you came home more often?"
"Well, it might have, but really, I don't have a choice now."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't want to do it anymore. I had planned to come home, get a job here, and surprise them with the news that I was moving back here. Only now, I don't have a choice."
"Why is that?"
"Earlier this year, I got involved with my boss. I know, stupid, right? I had always vowed I wouldn't do it, but I did. Things weren't working out between us, and so he fired me. I've done some work here and there, but I have nothing permanent. So I gave up my apartment before I came home. Now not only do I have no place or job to move back to, but they are selling this place." My eyes blurred over with tears. "I'm a failure."
"Hey, hey, Lex, shhhh. You aren't a failure. It'll be okay," he said, pulling me into him. He held me tightly, not saying anything more.
"I'm sorry," I said, pulling out of his embrace and reaching for a tissue. "This isn't the right time or place to start this." I dabbed at my eyes, wiping away the tears, and pulled away from Drew's embrace.
"It's the perfect time for this. It’s okay, really. You don't have to be sorry. You can be real with me; I mean we just… What else has got you worried?"
"The thought of failing. What if after Christmas I can't find a job and decide to go back, get a job there, and fail again?"
He sat up, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me back down with him. "You listen to me. I know you, Lexi. Most people would crumble at the thought of leaving home and living halfway around the world alone. I have always admired you. No matter what life presents to you, you take it and make the best of it, and even if you are struggling, you fight hard and end up landing on your own two feet."
I felt a tear roll down my cheek at his words as he looked into my eyes. He cupped my cheek with his hand, his thumb wiping away the tear, and kissed me deeply.
"You are going to be fine. You always are," he whispered into my mouth, kissing me again.
This moment right here explained to me the exact reason why I had very little ties to any other men. My heart beat gently in my chest, when normally it would have been beating wildly with anticipation of what was to come, and it answered a lot of questions in that moment. Somewhere deep inside of me, I knew who the person was that belonged to me. In a blink of an eye, a calm came over me that I had never experienced before. His kiss took away all the anxiety and panic I had been feeling only seconds before.
I heard the crinkle of the condom wrapper as he reached for it, and I welcomed him with open arms when he slid inside of me and began to make love to me for the second time tonight. As we orgasmed together, my soul spoke to me, screaming loudly. It was him. I had been traveling the world looking for him, and he had been right in my backyard the entire time.
Chapter 19
Drew
I blinked hardas the early-morning light started to creep through the slats of the blinds in Lexi's room. I rubbed my eyes and looked over at the clock that sat on her nightstand. It was almost six, and I feared her parents would probably be home soon. As much as I didn't want to, I slid my arm out from underneath Lexi's neck and unwrapped my body from hers, careful not to wake her. She stirred but quickly fell back into her deep sleep. She was exhausted; we'd stayed up talking and had another round between the sheets before we both fell asleep around four.
I crept to the door and turned the knob, stepping out into the hallway, turning back once again to look back at the sleeping angel. My cock was already starting to rise at the thought of crawling back into bed with her and sliding myself between those soft, creamy thighs.
I gripped the doorknob tight and pulled her door closed. There was no way I could crawl back into bed with her. All it would take would be for Zach to come home and come in search of her or me and find us in bed together. He would kill me, I already knew it.
Now, if her parents found out that would be a completely different matter. I'd had sex in their house, under their roof, which meant I had totally disrespected the only two people who had taken me in when I'd had nowhere else to go. I'd not only had sex in their house, but with their daughter. But fuck, I wanted her. I wanted her bad.
I trudged across the hall to my bedroom and crawled back into bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about my sleeping angel across the hall.
I slept for a couple more hours and at eight I finally dragged myself up and got dressed. I made my way downstairs, passing by Barbara and Jim on my way to the front door. They were both sitting in the front room by the tree, sipping coffee and reading the morning paper.
"Morning, Drew," Jim said, coming up and smacking me on the back. "Would you be able to give me a hand with the outdoor Christmas lights tomorrow? Zach said he would, but he's got to attend a work meeting, and then something with Ann Marie."