“Cass, let me do this, go sit down, take a load off,” he whispered in my ear. Chills ran through my body as his breath danced over my skin.
I stilled, knowing I needed to let him take over even for only a few minutes. I needed to get hold of myself. I stood rigid for what felt like minutes, fighting what I really wanted—his lips on mine while he held me close. When he put his strong hand on my shoulder, I leaned back into him, letting my body rest against his hard chest. I was so confused. I wanted to tell him the truth, I didn’t like lying to him, it wasn’t the way I wanted to start off. His return was proving to be more than I could handle. I was just about to confess when I felt him pull the peeler from my hand.
“Cass, please go relax.”
“I’ll pour us some wine,” I said as I released the peeler and grabbed the edge of the counter to steady myself.
“That sounds like a good idea.”
I walked over to the fridge, glancing back over my shoulder. He reached behind his head and pulled his sweater off. He was wearing a white t-shirt underneath, and I couldn’t help but watch as his muscles flexed beneath his shirt. I loved how the muscles in his forearms and hands flexed with every stroke as he peeled the carrots. I started to wonder what it would be like to have those hands on my body once again, how good they would feel doing forbidden things to me. What it would feel like to have his lips kiss me all over my body, sucking my nipples into his mouth.
“Are you getting us wine?”
The sound of his voice pulled me away from those thoughts, and I pulled the wine bottle out of the fridge and put another in. I poured us each a glass and took a sip before handing Brody his glass.
“Thanks. Now, go sit down.”
I took a seat at the table and sipped the cool liquid.
“So, when are these upcoming books set to release? I take it you’re working away on them; how much do you have left to do?” Brody asked, stopping to take a sip of wine.
Why couldn’t he just let this go?
“I just started the one and maybe got a couple of paragraphs done today. It’s the other one I’m worried about,” I lied. “I just sit and stare at the screen. You could never imagine the power of a blank page with a blinking cursor.” That part wasn't a lie.
He was quiet for a moment. “Well, can I help you with it?”
I laughed at his question, this felt just like old times. “Sadly, you can't. I wish you could.”
“I remember Jackson would tell me how you would bump ideas off him. Surely, if he could do it, I could help you with that too. I have a pretty damn good imagination.”
I got quiet, remembering the last idea I had bumped off Jackson—it had been so long ago, but it had ended in a marathon of sex against the kitchen wall. The realization of what he had just said shocked me.
“He used to tell you about that?” As the words passed my lips, I could hear the shock in my own voice, and I swallowed hard.
“Why? What's wrong with that, Cass? He just said when you used to get stuck, you would talk to him about it. So, I thought maybe I could help you, at least listen to your idea, maybe you just need to talk it through out loud.”
I let out the breath I had been holding with a nervous laugh. Thank God he had his back turned toward me and couldn't see the light flush on my cheeks.
“Excuse me for a second, I just need to use the washroom.” I got up from my chair and headed down the hall. I walked into the bathroom and shut the door, looking at myself in the mirror.
“Why are you lying to him, Cass?” I asked my reflection. Just be honest with him, he should know the truth. I stood and studied my reflection, completely disappointed with myself when I heard the phone ring. I quickly flushed the toilet and made my way back out into the kitchen.
* * *
The evening had gone wellafter I returned from the bathroom. We ate dinner, enjoyed dessert and coffee together in front of the TV, Brody had even built a fire. We talked endlessly, catching up. I was disappointed when he had to leave, and after saying goodnight, I shut and locked the front door. I watched through the small window in my front door as he walked to the truck. I couldn't help but check out his ass in those tight jeans one more time before he left. The sexual tension in the air had dissipated once he had left the house.
I'd had a hard time concentrating all evening. It was the quiet moments when the words seemed to get lost, my mind had traveled to the kiss at the store. I was constantly wondering what he was thinking when I would catch his eyes wandering to my lips. I wanted more of that and to feel what it would be like if I were trapped underneath him, wrapped in his strong arms again. I watched as he climbed into his truck and drove out of my driveway.
I ran my index finger over my lower lip, remembering that kiss. Once Brody's truck was completely out of sight, I shut off all the outside lights and the one in the front window, then pulled the blackout shades down across the front window, so it looked as if I were asleep. I knew Ray would be home soon, and I didn't want to give him any indication I was still awake. I went down to the bedroom and did the same thing, pulling the curtain across the window.
After I had changed, I made my way out to the kitchen and started to clean. I had finished loading the dishwasher and had put the last pot in the dishpan when my phone pinged with a message. I dried my hands and grabbed my phone.
RAY: ALMOST HOME, YOU UP FOR A VISIT?
I contemplated answering but thought it was best if I didn't. Instead, I shut my phone off, placed it on its charger, shut off everything else, and went to my bedroom. I had to be up early to get to work, and for some reason, I had a bad feeling telling Ray that Brody had been here for dinner and would be moving in here with me tomorrow wasn't going to go over well, but he needed to know.
Chapter Eleven