"Why don't you come and stay with me then. It'll be like old times. You can help me pack, and I'll help you relax." She laughed into thephone.
"I don't want to intrude, Jen. I have a ton of work to do every night. I need to make up my mind about what I am going to do as well. If I'm going to stay, I will have to sell that place. I can't afford to keep it and an apartment in thecity."
"My God, would you stop? You’re not an intrusion. You’re my best friend! You know what? I think you need to be more like me and go for what you want. Is this what youwant?"
I stood staring at my laptop, paperwork spread all over the desk. I was missing Parker. I was missing the comfort I had felt in the last few weeks being around him. I looked at the food getting cold on the table, the smell making me nauseous. Was this worth it? I had exactly six days left to make thatdecision.
"I don't know, Jen. I am trying. The offer isgreat."
"Who are you kidding, you sound miserable! I say you get your ass back down to the most awesome man you have ever known before you throw it all away again. Over something I know you don't really want." She knew me toowell.
"I'll know by the end of theweek."
"Bullshit, you already know, you coward. You just need the guts to admit to yourself that you needhim."
I smiled into the phone. This was exactly why I loved her—she called me on all myshit.
I took a breath. She was right. I wanted to be back in his arms. "I have until Friday. I'll make my decision by that time. For now, though, I have to go. I have so much to finish beforemorning."
"Okay, I have to call Elliott anyways. Seriously, though, if you want to come and stay with me, just come. No need tocall."
"Okay,night."
Hanging up the phone, I looked at the pile of work on my desk, tears stinging my eyes. Why was I having such a hard time with this decision? Blinking, a tear ran down my right cheek. Wiping it away, I took a deep breath and settled into the chair. I put the TV on for background noise and worked away on tomorrow’s assignments, taking small bites of my colddinner.
Friday night had finally come, one week down, and only one more to go. Jen was meeting me at the hotel at six. A night of pizza and girl movies was just what Ineeded.
I pulled into the hotel parking lot, passed my keys to the valet, and headed up to my room. Parker had called the other night while I was asleep, but he hadn't left a message. I had tried calling a couple of times during the day, but he never answered. I was missing him somethingterrible.
I couldn't wait to relax, so I removed my makeup and changed into a T-shirt and yoga pants. I quickly unpacked my laptop and plugged it in. I had another pile of work that needed to be completed for Monday, and as I looked at all of it, a knock came to thedoor.
"Your pregnancy test keeper is here with pizza and drinks. Open up," I heard Jen sing from thehallway.
I started to laugh as I made my way to the door. Jen stood there wearing a shit-eatinggrin.
"Shut up! I don't want the whole building to know," I said, pulling her into the room and shutting the door. I took the pizza from her and placed it on thetable.
Jen held out the paper bag between two fingers, rocking it back and forth in front of my face. "Moment oftruth?"
"No, let’s eat first. I am starving," I said, sitting down on the couch and turning the TV on. "What did you want towatch?"
Jen stood there looking at me, not saying aword.
"What?"
"Nothing, let’s eat." Jen sat down on the floor across from me and opened the pizza box while I flipped through the pay-per-view movies. I was trying to avoid the subject while praying that the test would benegative.
It was almost eleven by the time the movie was over, and the pizza was gone. "All right, miss, you have avoided this long enough," she said, rolling over and handing me thebag.
I could feel my stomach flip as I took the bag from her hand. "What if..?" I choked, tears forming in myeyes.
"Well, I guess you'll have to stop burying yourself in denial and actually adult up, go home, and talk to him. Accept the fact about what you want and go forit."
I looked down at the bag in my hand, fear building inside of me. I looked back up to Jen, my hands starting toshake.
"Listen, we'll cross that bridge when and if we get to it." She looked at me and rubbed myhand.
I walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. Taking a deep breath, I opened the bag and removed the test. I stared at the box, my hands starting to shake as I opened it. I fought back nausea as I read and re-read the instructions. Tears were clouding my vision until I could barely see. “Please don't let this be,” I whispered to myself. I took the test and put the cap back on it andwaited.