I slide my hand over her cheek, breathing in the potent scent of her arousal. She sucks in a breath as I press her to the wall, cover her with my body.
With a wild effort, I push off the wall, stagger back. “Go in. Lock the door.”
She widens her eyes, then she goes into the bathroom. There’s a click. Not that it could stop me.
I press my hand to the door, and then I press my face to it.
I focus on the sounds of the birds out there. It’s dawn. The first morning bird songs. The bird songs mean almost nothing with her in there. I want her so badly.
But she’s mine now. I care for her. It means not scaring her.
“Wash yourself,” I say.
“Wh-what?”
“I can smell you,” I pant.
The water goes on. I feel more in control.
I force my attention outside. The cracks of light around the curtain. Sunshine.
Her voice from inside. “Kiro? You okay?”
I bring my fist down on the door. I’m not good with words like Ann is. I bring my fist to the door again.
I turn and focus on the light coming from around the curtains. Freedom. It’s what I always longed for. I force myself across the small room, away from Ann. I pull open the door, expecting green, but the sky is gray. The street is gray. Cars and colorful lights swirl around. Giant stores line the street like sleeping lions, guarding their parking lots.
But the air smells fresh. And then, on the other side of the motel’s small driveway, I see a small patch of green. Grass. Nature.
I’m naked aside from the bandage on my shoulder, but that patch of aliveness calls to me. The earth—I have to touch it. I close the door, and like a sleepwalker, I go. The pavement is harsh on my feet. Like when I first arrived in the forest. They’ll toughen up. It’ll be like normal again.
There’s a tree, a picnic table with dirt around it…my steps speed up. When I get there, I fall to my knees, palms pressed to the ground. I breathe in, feeling almost normal.
Home. I need to go home.
I curl up on my side with my cheek to the grass. It’s stubby, prickly, not like the grass I love, but it’s grass. It’s alive.
I breathe in, feeling everything. The sky above is brightening at the edges. The earth feels vast underneath me. I gaze up at the fading stars.
I want her so badly it hurts.
I close my eyes, and I’m back on the bed, holding her, soft in my arms, given over to me, and the powerful smell of her arousal.
As if I called to her with my thoughts, the door to our room opens with a slash of light. I don’t see her, but I hear her. I no longer smell her arousal. I track her. She won’t get away. Will she try?
Footsteps across the pavement.
A dark figure above me.
“Kiro.” She kneels beside me and lays something soft over my waist. A towel. “Dude, our best bet right now is to be inconspicuous. Lying naked on the motel picnic area at six in the morning? Um…”
Her care isn’t genuine. She doesn’t want us to get caught, that’s all. She wants my story to herself. It stings me. I growl.
She puts her hand on my shoulder. “We’re together in this.”
Together. I wish with everything in me that it was true. I’ve been so alone for so long.
She touches my cheek. I close my eyes, soaking up the goodness of her touch.