What’s weird is I dodged this moment more than once with girls in the past who told me they thought they were pregnant, and all I felt then was a cold fear. The idea of the responsibility of some kid I didn’t want terrified me. I denied to myself I could ever be a dad. But this? This is Sky, and the universe is aligning everything the way it should be.
I kiss Sky’s strawberry-scented hair and rest my cheek on her head. “Why didn’t you tell me? How long have you known?”
“That’s why I’m apologising,” she says in muffled voice. “I took the test earlier today but couldn’t say anything.”
“Why not? You should’ve told me straightaway.”
Disentangling herself, Sky looks at me, mouth turned down. “You were in a really shitty mood, Dylan. I was scared what you’d say.”
Shit. Dumbass. “Sorry.”
“‘S’okay.”
I stroke hair from Sky’s face. “But this is happening, right? Like, can these things be wrong?”
“Rarely if it’s a positive.”
I grip the stick, another emotion edging in. “If you thought you were pregnant, why not tell me? I already told you I thought you were. We could’ve taken the test together. I could’ve been with you and shared the moment.”
Sky stares at her hands and says nothing. Confusion joins my nervous excitement when the expression on Sky’s face doesn’t brighten. She’s terrified—and still not sharing my smile.
A weight falls from nowhere and slugs the breath from me.
Does Sky not want this?
“Are you happy?” I ask cautiously.
“I’m in shock, I think.” Her voice is barely audible. “I didn’t mean to hide this. Your mood... and mostly I worried if I told you, you’d tell everybody tonight. I’m not ready.”
For me to tell, or for the baby?
“I wouldn’t tell anybody. Not yet.”
“Dylan, you wouldn’t be able to contain yourself,” she says with a small smile.
I sit forward and run both hands through my hair. “Wow. Fuck. I mean... wow.”
Still no response. More tears. I take hold of Sky’s hand and rub her fingers between mine, willing her mood to change and for me to be wrong about her thoughts.
“Sky. Everything is okay. Stop worrying. This is amazing. Awesome. Why can’t you just go with the flow?”
“Go with the flow? I’m bloody pregnant, Dylan!”
Her raised voice is another slap at my happiness, and the words blurt out. “You don’t want this. You don’t want a baby, do you? Is that why you hid from me?”
Sky drags her hands away. “No, Dylan! We just didn’t plan... I’m in shock. I’ll be okay soon.”
“You need to stop trying to plan. I don’t care how or when because this is meant to be! Nothing good that’s happened between us was planned. We didn’t plan to meet, I didn’t plan to fall in love with you so hard it knocked my world sideways, and I didn’t plan for someone to forgive me for being an asshole and agree to be with me forever.”
Sky stands and tucks her hands beneath her arms. “I can’t let go of all control over my life, Dylan. I wanted to plan some things—like this. Deciding to get pregnant is huge. A baby... another person....”
“Another us. Sky, don’t spoil this.” I stand too and attempt to take her into my arms, but she steps back, maintaining the distance we’re creating.
“I’m not trying to spoil this! I dealt with the situation badly, that’s all.”
“You should’ve told me straightaway. As soon as you knew!”
“I’ve told you now, okay? You shouting at and telling me how I should feel isn’t helping!” Sky walks towards the bathroom and pauses, turning to me.