Chapter Twenty-five
Oh God. I think I'm going to be sick," I whispered, head bowed over my lap, making my hair drape onto the scrying mirror. The morning chill made me feel ill as it mixed with my nausea, and my hand shook as I pressed it into the cave of the pentagram engraved on the scrying mirror. The ley line spilling into me was still ragged lurches and jumps. Obviously my aura wasn't yet back to normal.
Rachel calling Al, come in, Al, I thought sarcastically, in a last-ditch effort to reach the demon, but as before, he refused to answer, leaving me in this dizzy, uncomfortable morass of existence. I hunched suddenly, as it felt like the world suddenly dropped out from under me. My stomach gave a heave, and I broke the connection before I vomited on the kitchen floor.
"Damn it all to the Turn and back!" I exclaimed, barely above a whisper. Shaking, I curbed my desire to fling the mirror across the kitchen, and instead leaned to shove it roughly away on the open shelves under the island counter. Slumping back in my chair, I stared at the silent room. It was about three in the afternoon. Ivy wasn't up yet, but the pixies were at it, trying to be quiet so as not to wake her. I eyed the open box of cold pizza from last night, and feeling my nausea leave as fast as it had come, I yanked a piece and ate the point. "Crap, this is awful," I muttered, tossing it back in the box. I was too old for this.
It was really quiet. And cold. 'Course, being in my robe didn't help. Rex appeared in the doorway, sitting on the threshold and curling her tail around her feet. Pulling a pepperoni off my abandoned slice, I offered it to her, and the cat padded in, taking it with a finicky precision. "Good kitty," I whispered, giving her ears a little rub after she ate the morsel.
I had way too much to do today to be sitting around in my robe feeding the cat cold pizza, and taking my cup, I refilled it, standing at the sink to look out at the glittering snow. Our perishables, stacked on the picnic table, looked funny, and I sighed.
Tonight was New Year's, and I was shunned. What a nice way to start the year. No wonder, really, if I was considering doing a spell to force a demon to come to me-in a public place. Maybe I should break into a vacant office that overlooked the square. Maybe I am a black witch.
Mood souring, I took a sip of coffee, eyes closing as it slipped down and eased the last of my nausea. Turning, I started, almost spilling my coffee when I found Ivy standing in the doorway in her black silk robe, her arms crossed, watching me.
"Holy crap!" I exclaimed, flustered. "How long have you been there?"
Ivy smiled with her lips closed, her eyes dilating slightly at the pulse of adrenaline I'd probably given off. "Not long," she said, picking up Rex and giving her a cuddle.
"You freaking scared the crap out of me," I complained. And why were you just standing there, watching me?
"Sorry." Dropping Rex, she eased into the kitchen, going to the sink and warming up her coffee mug in a steady stream of hot tap water.
I casually moved back to my chair and sat, trying not to look like I was avoiding her. She didn't look sorry. She looked...gorgeous, her alabaster white skin having a hint of rose. Casual in her black robe, her motions had an unusual edginess to them. Sharp. Obviously her night at Cormel's had done more than save her life.
"How are you feeling?" I asked hesitantly, eyeing the pizza and deciding I couldn't stomach it. "Cormel brought you home about midnight. You, ah, look great."
The gurgle of the coffee as it filled her cup was loud, and she said without turning, "I'm feeling really, really good. Every last itch scratched, every last bubble burst." Her voice was tight and depressed, and she carefully replaced the carafe. "I hate myself. But tomorrow will be better. I took blood from someone to keep from dying. My only consolation was that it wasn't you." Now she turned, and holding her cup high in salute, she added, "Small victories."
I didn't know what to do, seeing her standing at the sink with the island counter between us. "I'm sorry," I said softly. "I don't care what you did. I'm just glad you're okay." But I couldn't bring myself to cross the room and give her a hug. Not yet.
Her eyes dropped to the mug in her hand. "Thank you. We both know the monster is there. No need to have to look at it, right?"
She sounded resigned, and I protested, "Ivy, you're not a monster."
Her gaze flicked to mine, and she looked away. "Then why do I feel so damn good right now? After what I did last night?"
I didn't know the answer. My thoughts went to the brat pack, comparing black magic to chemo treatments. "All I know is that it saved your life, and I'm glad you're okay."
She took her coffee to her computer. Lips pressed in a tight line, she moved two books off her chair and sat before a blank screen. More needed to be said, but I didn't know how to bring it up. I listened for the sound of wings, but Jenks was either in the sanctuary with his kids or being especially quiet in his eavesdropping. "Um, Ivy, I have something to ask you."
Tossing the hair from her eyes, she shook the mouse and woke up her computer. "Yes?"
Yes? It sounded innocent enough, but my pulse was racing, and I knew she knew it and was feigning disinterest. Hands around my warm mug, I took a slow breath. "If you could, would you leave everything to become human?"
Mouse unmoving, she stared at me with empty eyes. "I don't know."
A dry clattering of pixy wings interrupted and Jenks darted in, spilling silver sparkles. "What!" he exclaimed, hovering in midair between us in his Peter Pan pose. "Rachel says she can take away the blood lust, and you say you don't know? What's wrong with you!"
"Jenks!" I exclaimed, not surprised he'd been listening. "I didn't say I could make her human. I asked if she could, would she do it. And quit eavesdropping on us, okay?"
Ivy shook her head. "So I'm human, and the blood lust is gone. What does that leave me with? It's not the blood lust that warped me, it was Piscary. I'd still be mixing savagery with feelings of love. Only now, if I hurt someone in passion, it would hurt. At least the way things are, it would feel good."
Jenks's wings dropped in pitch, and a slip of dust turned green for a moment. "Oh."
"Not to mention I'd be frail and lower on the food chain," she added, a soft blush coloring her skin, attention going to the screen, avoiding us. "Anyone could take advantage of me and probably would, seeing as I've got a past. The way things are now, no one dares."
Cold, I tugged my robe closed. "You can feel strong without the vampire virus."
"Yeah, right," she said, and my expression froze at her flash of anger. "I like being a vampire. It's losing my soul that scares me. If I knew I wouldn't lose it when I die, I might try harder to...conform." Her eyes met mine, my magic books stacked between us, all brought down this morning from the belfry. "You really think you can make me human?"
Jenks's kids came rushing in with a burst of noise and silk, and I shrugged as he corralled them, pushing them out ahead of him as he went to see what had them in a tizzy. "I don't know," I said in the abruptly quiet kitchen. "Trent has a treatment. It only has an eleven percent success rate, and it only makes the virus and neurotoxins dormant. If you survived taking it, you'd still become an undead and lose your soul when you died. Rynn Cormel would say it was a failure." I smiled thinly, thinking it sucked to be a vampire, even one as respected as Ivy. "It might make your life easier. Or it might kill you." I wasn't going to risk an 11 percent chance of success. Not with Ivy.
"Actually," I said, hesitant to bring it up, "I was thinking along the lines of a curse that can turn you human."
"Or witch?" Ivy said, surprising me. There was a soft vulnerability in her and I blinked.
"You don't want to be a witch," I said quickly.
"Why not? You are."
Jenks came back in with one of his kids, her wings tangled up in what was probably spiderweb. "I think you should be a pixy," he said, fingers sifting dust as they gently ran over Jrixibell's wing to clean it. "You'd look so cute with your little wings and your sword. I'd let you fight in my garden anytime."
A smile quirked her lips, then died. "A witch can't be turned," she said shortly.
"Neither can a Were," said Jenks, smiling as he boosted his child into the air and the little girl zipped out, hurting my ears with her shout to wait for her.
Ivy was lost in thought, and I couldn't help my smile as I thought of David. I think she was, too, when she turned to her computer, blushing. Cormel would freaking kill me if I turned Ivy into anything other than a vampire with an eternal soul. But seeing as I couldn't be what I wanted, why not use my liability to give Ivy the chance to be what she wanted?
Feeling like something had been settled even though it hadn't, I pushed myself up and went to the pantry. Everything that had been in our fridge was outside. "You want pancakes? I feel like cooking."
"Sure." Her fingers were clicking on the keys, but her eyes were on the three bottles of potion against the wall by the disillusion pot of salt water. "You got the book?" she asked.
I came out of the pantry with the box of mix. "Last night. I'm going out to try it tonight at Fountain Square. You want to come?"
"Will there be news vans and screaming?"
"Probably," I said sourly.
"Count me in," she said, and Jenks snorted from the sill where he was feeding his sea monkeys. The tiny tank of brine had taken the place of honor at the window ever since I'd moved Mr. Fish to the ever-after as my canary, to know if the ever-after was poisoning me.
Leaning against the counter, I read the back of the box. If we had eggs, they were frozen. "Actually, I'm going to rent a van and park it in the garage. Could you help keep people away?"
"If the van's a rockin', don't come a knockin'!" Jenks said, gyrating beside me.
"God, Jenks," I said. "We do have kids in the church."
"How do you think they got here, baby?" he said, laughing.
I set the box down hard, and the mix puffed up into him. "Hey!" he shouted, dusting heavily as he shivered his wings and the mix made a cloud.
Ivy was smiling with closed lips. This was nice. We'd come a long way in a year-all of us. "After you whip that demon's ass, I'll take you and Pierce out for pizza," she offered.
"Deal." Bending, I got the frying pan out from under the counter and put it on the stove. My thoughts went to what spells I could make today to help ensure that Al wouldn't get so pissed he took his mistake out on me. They'd be earth charms, so I wouldn't have to tap a line, but that was where I excelled. Sleepy-time charms for sure.
Ivy stood in a fast motion, and Jenks and I jumped. Either she wasn't hiding her vampire speed, or she was having trouble controlling it. Seeing Jenks's and my alarm, her face scrunched in amusement. "Glenn's car is at the end of the street," she said, and Jenks rose higher, his expression one of disbelief. "I'm getting dressed." Coffee in hand, she walked out.
"Tink's little red thong," Jenks blurted, following her. "You can hear that from here?"
"Today I can," she said, her words fading as she went into her room.
I tightened the tie on my robe. Would I give up being that special in order to love someone, or would I just find someone new to love?
The creaking of the front door and the ensuing pixy uproar told me Jenks had let the FIB detective in, and I was smiling when the tall man entered, a paper grocery bag in his grip. Pixies wreathed him, noisy as they darted in and out of the bag while he set it on the counter. His eyes went to the empty space where the fridge had been, a question in his expression. "Where's your fridge?"