“Yeah, I know, but…” She shrugs with a wince. “It’s not like you’d be the first girl who got abused by somebody she’s living with.”
“I can’t believe this. Seriously.” I back away from them, shaking. Not because I’m hurt, not because I’m scared, but because I hate that they don’t believe me. And I hate I can’t come straight out and tell them everything. All of it.
But if there’s one unbreakable rule, it’s that I can’t breathe a word about it. Not about sleeping with Zeke and not about his sudden concern over me. And that sucks because I do want to tell them. I want to be able to confide in somebody. I can’t even tell Blair, not really, even though she’s at a different school, and it couldn’t possibly make a difference. Zeke made me swear.
What am I supposed to do with all this anxiety I feel? Do I have to keep it all bottled up inside me?
* * *
“What’s wrong with you?”Pete, Dean’s roommate, nudges Posey when she doesn’t laugh along with the rest of us at a video Brad played on his phone. The restaurant is pretty empty except for us. That’s probably a good thing since we’re not exactly quiet.
And it’s driving Zeke crazy. Every time I glance his way after somebody bursts out laughing, I see the way he cringes. It’s enough to make me laugh some more—though I’m sure he’ll punish me for it when we get home, which is more like funishment, anyway.
Nobody would guess he has a sense of humor without knowing him the way I do.
But you’re not supposed to know him that way, right?Right. I have to remember that. It’s so hard sometimes, trying to keep track of what I can and can’t let people know.
Posey tries to play it off, but not without glancing at me first. Nothing. I guess I’m distracted.”
“Sure, you have that presentation at the end of the week.” Pete’s really trying hard to win her over, it’s obvious. Now he’s trying to show an interest in the thing that interests her. I exchange a look with Zoe, and we have to look down at the table before we start laughing.
“Oh yeah, that too.” Zoe pouts. “I’m going to be so sad when I don’t have an excuse to see you guys anymore.”
“Just because we won’t have class together anymore doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.” I reach out and squeeze her hand. “Besides, it’s a small school. I’m sure we’ll see each other on campus all the time next semester.”
“Which classes are you taking?” We start talking about that while the guys pick at what’s left of an appetizer platter. Big surprise, they ate most of it. But we have to look good in the dresses we bought, too, and I, for one, don’t need to shove any more boneless wings in my mouth.
Posey’s still pretty quiet, though. Part of my attention is on her, no matter how I try to ignore her pensive expression. She keeps tapping her fingers on the table, chewing her lip. And more than once, I’ve caught her looking toward Zeke, sitting at a table for two on the other side of the dining room. He’s not paying attention to her, focusing on his burger and onion rings instead.
I would call her out on it, but that would only make things more awkward. Especially with Dean, and we both know his feelings toward Zeke. And vice versa.
I lean in closer to Posey. “Come to the bathroom with me,” I whisper before grabbing my purse and standing. I need her on my side right now. We head back, with me passing Zeke on the way. All he does is exchange a look with me before going back to his food. But he’s not fooling anybody. I know he’ll be watching the table while listening out for any signs of trouble from me. I wonder if he ever lives in the moment without having to question or worry.
As soon as we’re alone in the otherwise empty bathroom, I fold my hands like I’m praying. “Please, can you drop it?”
“I’m sorry, you’re my friend, and I don’t like—”
“I’m telling you, there’s nothing wrong. For some reason, my dad is more paranoid than ever,” I whisper. “That’s why he has Zeke teaching me to defend myself. And that’s the entire story. And nobody’s said anything, but I’m wondering if that’s why my dad didn’t want me to come home for Thanksgiving. Because there’s something bad happening, or there was.”
Her shoulders sink a split second before she sighs. “I didn’t think about that. That does make sense. But you’re going home for Christmas, right?”
“Yeah, as I said, I guess whatever it was blew over. Unless he has another surprise in store for me, and we’re going someplace else for the holidays. I really don’t know. But I swear, there’s nothing shady or sketchy going on.”
She reaches out for a hug I gladly give her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it seem like I was—”
The door bursts open, and Zoe appears, flushed and out of breath. “Come quick. They’re going to fight.”
“What?” I push my way past the girls and run out to the dining room. The tables are empty now.
“Outside,” one of the servers tells me, pointing at the door leading to the parking lot. I make a run for it, getting outside in time to see Zeke and Dean standing face-to-face, fists clenched.
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Zeke warns in a low, dangerous growl. “Why don’t you step off, little boy, and go back to eating your food?”
Dean is stone-faced, his eyes glittering. “You fucking hit her, didn’t you? You’re calling me a little boy? When you’re the one putting bruises on her?”
I whirl around to face Zoe. Her face is deep red. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” Great. There I was, thinking Posey would be the problem, and it was Zoe who opened her big mouth the second we were away from the table. I should have asked them both to come to the bathroom with me.
At the same time, it’s not her fault. It’s probably Dean’s. I can’t imagine Zeke would start anything with him unprovoked. “Stop it, right now!” I shout, marching over to them. “This is stupid. Dean, you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”