“Apparently, everybody does, huh?” I roll my eyes. “Nobody quite gets the way it is between us, but believe me, it’s not what you think.”
“You make it sound like there’s more going on, but then turn around and say he doesn’t love you and that nothing is going on between you guys. You’re starting to sound like somebody that’s making excuses for an abuser.”
“Okay, you can stop right there; he’s not abusing me.” I wave my hands around, frustrated because I can’t quite tell her everything. There isn’t enough time. “I had a crush on him for a long time. I made a move, he turned me down. Now we’re here. So yeah, it’s tense and weird.”
“And don’t forget your father would probably kill him if he touched you.”
“I mean, maybe? I don’t know. He trusts Zeke.”
“So long as Zeke doesn’t think of you as a woman.” She winks. “Face it, girl. You’ve got to either tell him nothing is ever going to happen, or you need to fuck his brains out. You can’t keep floating around in limbo, or it’s only going to get more awkward.” Zoe bursts out laughing over something in the living room. “I’m going to go back. Don’t be much longer, or shit will go down.”
Why is it not enough for me to tell Dean he has nothing to worry about, that Zeke isn’t hurting me or holding me prisoner? Hard-headed. Is that the way all men are? Maybe it’s just the men in my life.
I look at myself in the mirror, staring into my own eyes. I need to make a decision one way or another. Posey’s right. Either I shut down the whole thing right now and tell him it’s never going to happen, and he can never kiss me—or anything else—again, or I can fuck his brains out.
Obviously, my body knows what it wants. I’m wet enough that I’m practically dripping, like my body is preparing itself to have what it’s wanted for such a long time.
My brain’s another story.
“Yo, Mia! You coming back or what?” Dean. Another complication. I stand straight, smoothing out my sweater and hair before hurrying out into the hallway.
“I’m coming, jeez. Can’t a girl go to the bathroom?” I roll my eyes, laughing. “Anybody else want a drink? There’s plenty in the cabinet.”
* * *
Posey better be careful,or she’s going to find herself with a new best friend, whether she wants one or not. She played it cool, never hinting at anything I told her in my room. She also managed to wrap things up within an hour and got everybody out of the condo. Dean looked disappointed, but that’s no big surprise. I’m not sure what he thought was going to happen. I like him, he’s nice, but I’ve never given him any idea that I see him that way. Have I?
Besides, Zoe’s obviously got a huge crush on him. I like her, I want to be friends with her, and it would make me a bitch if I went after him.
Right. Whatever you need to tell yourself.I’m not loving the voice in my head right now, but it won’t shut up. I go through the motions of putting everything away, saving what’s left of some pretty expensive cheese. I’m sure anybody raised the way I’m living now would laugh at me for doing it, but certain things I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let go of. I don’t want to waste anything, even if I know I could easily buy more tomorrow.
I open the refrigerator door and bend down to make room for the leftovers. Once I have everything put away, I stand and close the door to the fridge.
And I gasp when I find Zeke standing there. “Are you trying to kill me? Because one of these days, my heart’s going to stop when you surprise me like that.”
He doesn’t apologize. He doesn’t say a word, in fact.
He doesn’t have to. He has that same look in his eye that he did earlier before he kissed me.
I can’t get over the thought that this is it. This is where I make a decision. I can either tell him to get this out of his mind, that nothing will ever happen, so he should stop thinking about it…
Or I can give in and take what I’ve wanted all this time.
Right now, with every part of my body responding to the way he’s looking at me, it doesn’t feel like I have much of a choice.
We crash together, his hands sinking into my hair and holding my head in place while his tongue does unspeakable things to the inside of my mouth. Nobody’s ever kissed me like their entire life depends on it. Slow, sensual, making my toes curl and my pussy throb. He drives me back against the island, and I’m glad for it since it gives me something to lean on before my legs give out.
This is what I’ve been fighting against? This almost painful pleasure? It’s more than that. It’s being close to him, smelling him, hearing the way he grunts, the way his breath picks up. His fingertips massaging my scalp. It all blends together until my body is on fire, my nerves tingling, my skin sizzling.
And I’m so hungry for more. So tired of pretending I want anything other than this, always.
He finally lets me up for air, trailing kisses over my jaw, my chin, my throat. I hold on to the back of his head with one hand, running my fingers through his hair. I hardly recognize the sounds coming from me—high-pitched, desperate, pleading. Much more of this, and I’ll come when he’s barely put a hand on me.
And then he does. He wedges a thigh between mine, parting my legs, before rubbing it against my pussy. I scrape my nails over his scalp before I can help myself, but all he does is grind harder against me. Like he likes it.
“This is what you want, isn’t it? Don’t pretend.” He lifts his head, taking my jaw in one hand. Stopping just short of squeezing my throat. “Isn’t it?”
“Yes!” I gasp, and now I’m rocking my hips frantically, chasing the orgasm just out of reach. “Yes, more, please!”