“Why would I, so long as you’re following the ground rules we just set down? I’m going to trust you, but you need to trust me, too. Otherwise, your dad’s going to kill us both.”
I wish he didn’t sound so serious when he said that. Like he means it. Dad wouldn’t kill him. No way. He’s being dramatic. But I’m not in the mood to argue when he’s finally loosening up a little bit. I might be able to have some kind of a life, finally. “Sure. I’ll follow the ground rules, but I’m going to trust that you’ll do it, too. But no backtracking.”
“How would I do that?”
“By pretending this never happened. I’m going to hold you to it.”
“That’s fine. And I’ll do the same.” He gives me a short nod. “Now, I’m going to go to bed for real. Just remember, I get an alert on my phone whenever that door opens or closes.”
Dammit, I never thought of that. He has an app on his phone connected to the system. “Fair enough,” I mutter, even though it’s not quite fair. He still has all the power in this dynamic.
At least, that’s what I tell myself until he reaches the door, and I think of one more thing. “What about guys? What if I meet somebody? What happens then?”
He freezes, and his hand tightens around the doorknob until his knuckles stand out bone-white against his olive skin. If it wasn’t for that, I would think he didn’t hear me at all—he doesn’t say a word.
“I mean, let’s be real. We’re both legally adults, so I think we can talk that way.” Or so I want to tell myself. My mouth is awfully dry all of a sudden, and my heart reminds me of the hummingbirds that visit the feeder back home. It’s fluttering like crazy. “Realistically, there’s a chance I could meet somebody and want to date them. What happens then? Are you going to get in the way?”
His exhale sounds a lot like a growl, and it makes the hair on my arms stand straight up. “Maybe we’ll deal with that if the time ever comes, huh? I don’t think I can stand much more of this tonight.” With that, he leaves, closing the door harder than he needs to.
I should’ve known. At least he didn’t forbid me or something medieval like that.
I fall back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. At least I’ll be able to have a little bit of freedom from now on. I can live with that, and maybe, if I prove myself, I can earn a little more. I can get around him. I’ll have to be smarter about it than I was tonight, but I can do it. The more time I spend with him, one on one, the easier he is to read. And tonight, I learned two things.
Number one, he’s not going to apologize for anything, ever. I notice he didn’t apologize for spanking me. He technically didn’t even mention it.
Number two? The idea of me dating anybody makes him almost feral with anger.
What if he didn’t reject me because he didn’t want me, but because he knew he couldn’t have me?
And what if I make it clear that he can? At the very least, it’ll be fun to drive him nuts. Fair payback for the misery he’s put me through with his little comments and remarks. Not to mention for how terrible he made me feel about myself when he rejected me.
I smile slowly as a plan starts to form in my head.
He has no idea what’s coming.