And then it was time to set out to get back to Ian and Hudson, to risk it all to save her life, knowing it wouldn’t just be Cosima who died if he failed but all four of them.
* * *
Ryker
“I’m sorry,” he whispered in her ear hours later, his breath harsh as he plunged through the thigh-deep snow with his love bundled up in his arms. She wasn’t even shivering anymore because she was frozen through. It seemed like a good time for confessions, in case they didn’t make it back. In case he failed her. “I’m sorry, Cosima. The truth is that I adore you. Love you more than anyone I’ve ever met except maybe Hudson and Ian, and that scares the living shit out of me.”
Not as much as the possibility of losing you, though, he wanted to tell her but he wasn’t going to give her that option, wasn’t going to offer up that choice. His tough little one was going to make it because she had to. He’d order her to if that’s what it took. Her body might be weak but her will was strong and she’d never failed to take anything he’d doled out.
“I didn’t want to love you. I fought it because the thought of losing you… I couldn’t take it. So you need to fucking stay alive. Please stay alive. Because if you don’t Ian and Hudson will murder me. And maybe I deserve that but Stella doesn’t.”
It felt like he’d been walking for days. He was almost glad that his limbs felt frozen stiff because he wouldn’t be able to drop Cosima even if he lost feeling all the way to his fingers.
It was starting to get dark because it was nightfall and not just because of the storm, and although he’d had a thread of panic running through him since Hudson had called and told him Cosima was missing, it was thicker now. More like a rope of panic that was tying tight around his insides. If it got dark and he lost his way—
No. He was going to keep walking, and they were going to make it. Had to. Things couldn’t end like this.
Yes, it always took him way too fucking long to embrace the good things in his life and that probably wouldn’t ever change because caution and suspicion were carved into him like a river through a canyon, but Cosima deserved better than this. Deserved a long happy life surrounded by people who loved her an indecent amount. She deserved to be coddled and cared for and spoiled and tormented to her heart’s content and for fuck’s sake, if he did nothing else in this life of his, he would give her that.
Which was when he reached the crest of a ridge and saw the lights.
That expression light at the end of the tunnel had never meant much to him. It was as like to blind you as anything else. But for the first time in his life, those beacons meant hope, it meant the possibility of things being okay. It meant warmth and shelter, and the people he loved.
“We’re almost home, love. So close. Don’t you dare die now, that’s an order. Dying is not allowed, not an option. No safewords this time. You stay alive for us until I say otherwise, you hear me? I’m bringing you home.”
Ian
Ian was pacing in front of the blazing fireplace when the door to the cabin burst open, and there was Ryker, standing broad-shouldered and backlit from the porch lights. Ian didn’t think he’d ever seen a more welcome sight than his friend darkening that particular doorstep. His relief was short-lived, however, as Ryker staggered into the cabin and collapsed on his knees.
“Found her. I found her. You gotta warm her up. Not even shivering. Hypothermia.”
Hudson barreled over from where he’d been heating up some soup on the stove and took the armfuls of blankets and apparently girl Ryker had hauled in from that godforsaken cabin. He’d found it, fucking found it, and brought their babygirl back to them.
As soon as Ryker had been relieved of his burden, he collapsed the rest of the way, face-first on the wood floor, breathing hard.
Ian made eye contact with Hudson. “You take her, I’ll take him?”
Hudson nodded and they got to work.
Ian rolled Ryker over and started stripping him out of his soaked-through clothes. Ry wasn’t totally conscious—while Ian stripped him to his cold, clammy skin, he kept startling awake, black lashes framing his grey eyes, pupils blown wide. Jesus, both he and Coco must have hypothermia. Not surprising given the weather outside, but alarming nonetheless.
“Where’s Cosima? She okay?”
“Hey, Ry, settle down. You found her. Brought her home to us. She’s here in the cabin, Hudson’s taking care of her.”
“Need to see her,” he argued, trying to push Ian’s hands away. On any other day, Ryker could kick his ass. Not that Ian wasn’t strong—yeah, he worked out—but Ry was a beast. Not now though. It wasn’t hard to smack his hands away to get the guy’s boots off, unzip the snow pants he had on and peel them off along with the long underwear and two pairs of socks he’d been out in. All soaking wet and probably had been for hours. Crazy motherfucker.
“Not at this very second you don’t. I’m gonna get you out of these wet clothes and towel you off and then Huds and I are getting you and Coco in bed to warm you up. You’re a goddamn icicle.”
It was disturbing exactly how cold Ryker’s extremities were even given the hot packs that fell to the floor as Ian stripped off his clothes—hopefully he didn’t have frostbite. At least he’d calmed down, melted back into whatever that semi-conscious state was. And when he did open his eyes, Ian reminded him:You found her. You brought her back to us. We’re going to take care of you both. You can see her in a minute.
Finally Ian had stripped him down to his skin and dried him off as well as he could. Now to get the guy into bed and start getting him warm. Next time Ry opened his eyes, Ian took advantage to haul him onto his feet and got his arm slung around his own shoulder. Dude was heavy as fuck. What was he made of, lead? Shoulda made Huds take him and snagged Coco for himself.
He managed to get Ryker over to the bed and nudged him toward the center where Coco was already tucked in up to her chin and her face barely visible from under the makeshift hood Hud had fashioned out of a blanket.
“She doing okay?” he asked Hudson.
Hudson didn’t reply right away, just frowned. “I don’t know for sure. She’s a little block of ice, her breathing is slow, I’ve been talking to her but she’s not responding at all. I found her pulse but—”