Chapter Thirteen
Cosima
When she awoke again, Hudson was spooning her, but there was no Ian. Which made sense—she had no idea how long she’d been asleep and of course he had things to do. Like a job and showering and eating and all sorts of other things humans did.
Cosima didn’t feel particularly like people, but she did feel warm and safe, and she snuggled back against Hudson’s big body. He really was like a teddybear. Even better than those enormous teddy bears she’d coveted as a kid because he hugged back.
Except when she wiggled her bottom to get close to him, it didn’t feel right. They were both under the blanket so there shouldn’t be so much—
Oh.Oh!
She was wearing a diaper. They haddiaperedher. And she thought she might be…wet.
The thought sent fear spiking through her system. They were going to be so, so mad that she’d wet herself, that she needed to be cleaned, and—
“Cosy, baby? Hey, hey.”
Hudson pulled away from her and rolled her gently to her back. She put her hands over her eyes as well as she could without making herself wince from the pain.
“Baby, what’s wrong?”
Thrumming with fear she curled closer to Hudson. Not that she deserved the comfort of his body but she could at least hide. Maybe pushing against his wall of warmth and strength would steady her shaking. Master had hated it when she trembled, but it wasn’t anything she could control—she quivered when she was afraid.
“Cosy, you gotta talk to me. Please? I can’t help if I don’t know why you’re upset. Here, I’m just going to hug you until you can tell me.”
Cosima should’ve fought when he took her into her arms, but she was weak and desperate for his affection. It had been so long since anyone had cared for her. Better to have a little kindness before he and Ian made her leave because she was such a needy disaster.
Against her brain’s better instincts that nowhere and no one was safe, her body seemed to believe Hudson wasn’t someone to be afraid of and she stopped shuddering after a few minutes.
“That’s it, sweet girl,” Hudson told her as he held her tight. “Nothing to be be scared of here, I promise. As much as I love holding you, though, maybe you could tell me what’s wrong and we can get it sorted out?”
Cosima didn’t want to tell him, couldn’t see any response that didn’t involve anger and disgust on his side and humiliation and shame on hers. But he was right—she couldn’t let him be kind to her under false pretenses.
“I—I’m so sorry. But I…I wet my diaper.”
Her last words came out in no more than a choked whisper because she was so mortified, but it seemed Hudson heard her.
“Of course you did, babygirl. That’s what diapers are for.”
It took her a few seconds to process that she hadn’t been shoved away or hit or yelled at.
“I put you in a diaper so you wouldn’t be upset if you had an accident after you fell asleep again. Those pain meds you’re on are really strong, and your body is doing its best to heal itself and shutting down pretty much everything else like waking you up to use the potty. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. I’m so pleased with you. Now let’s get you cleaned up and changed. It’s not healthy for little girls to be in wet diapers for too long.”
Hudson kissed the top of her head—a show of affection she was quickly becoming addicted to—and leaned back a bit so she wasn’t burrowing into his chest anymore and he could see her face.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Cosy. I’m not angry. This is what I meant to happen. You’re a good girl.”
“But…”
Hudson didn’t press her, just studied her face with those kind brown eyes.
“But how am I going to get clean? Ian said I wasn’t allowed out of bed and I don’t have anything to—to—”
She couldn’t say it.
“I’m going to clean you up, babygirl. Don’t worry about it. That’s my job. You remember I promised to take care of everything you needed?”
Cosima did remember that, but in her wildest dreams she wouldn’t have expected that to extend so far. She was about to say so when Hudson put a finger over her lips.