“I get a present?”
Master had called things presents but they hadn’t been really. Just more things for him to torment her with. Just mean. Except for the books and the pretty tote bag Doctor Eric had given her, the last time she’d gotten a real present must’ve been before she ran away to live with Master.
Hudson smiled but he looked nervous too. Then he was handing her a stuffed animal. A light brown bunny rabbit with long floppy ears, big shiny eyes, so much soft fluff, a cotton ball floof of a tail, and a mint green ribbon around its neck. It was beautiful.
“This is for me?”
“Yep,” he confirmed. “I didn’t know if you liked bunnies or stuffies but I thought you might get lonely and you could use a friend who could be with you all the time.”
“I love it,” she said, and hugged the bunny to her chest. It wasn’t as good as hugging Hudson for sure, but it was 100 percent better than not having anything to hug at all. “Thank you so, so much.”
“You’re welcome.”
Hudson’s smile faded and his brow furrowed.
“Hey, Cosy, I gotta ask you something, okay?”
“Okay,” she agreed, rubbing the bunny’s ear between her fingers. It had a light pink satin lining that was impossibly soft and she wished she were small enough to wrap her whole self up in her bunny’s ear. This would have to do.
“Did your top do this because he found the card I gave you?”
There was that vomity feeling again. Hudson put his hand over hers and she couldn’t help but look at him.
“You need to tell me the truth, Cosy. He can’t hurt you anymore, I promise, and it’s really important.”
She wanted to laugh. Not in a nice way. Hudson didn’t know what Master was capable of. Probably couldn’t even imagine because Hudson was kind and decent. If he wanted to, she had no doubt Master could hunt her down and kill her.
But he’d thrown her away like the trash he’d always called her so maybe he didn’t even care enough to do that. Plus, if she hadn’t lied to Master who had been so cruel, how could she lie to Hudson? She wouldn’t tell him the whole truth if she could help it, but she wasn’t going to lie when he asked her a direct question.
“Yes.”
The way Hudson’s face crumpled hurt her so much. More than anything Master had ever done to her. She grabbed his big hand in both of hers and put her head to his shoulder. She wanted to climb into his lap and wrap her whole self around him but she couldn’t without making a mess of all the wires and tubes.
“But it’s not your fault. He would’ve done it eventually anyway. Found some other excuse. I should’ve known better than to keep it. I should’ve thrown it away but I wanted to have it. So really it’s my fault.”
Hudson’s head snapped up and his brown eyes that had always been so warm and kind were lit with anger. She flinched because she knew what followed anger and it hurt. But the fire in his expression faded to stern determination.
“This is not your fault. The only person to blame is him. Nothing you could ever do would warrant someone hurting you like this. Do you understand me?”
She rolled her lips between her teeth even though it hurt. Yes, she understood Hudson’s words but she didn’t believe them.
“Hey,” he demanded, taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger and tipping her head up until she met his gaze. “Even if you don’t believe it yet, you repeat after me. ‘This was not my fault.’”
The command in his voice did her in. Even though her stomach twisted in revolt, she said it. “This was not my fault.”
“Good girl.”