Chapter Thirty-Seven
Gideon pressed the buzzer and listened for the click of the door unlocking. He headed up to the loft above Hive and had to smile when he walked in.
Ian greeted him with a clap on the shoulder and a freshly pulled glass of Hudson’s latest home-brew experiment for his hand.
“How’s it going, man? How’s Plum?”
Gideon sucked air through his teeth as he handed his coat and scarf over to Ian.
“Things are fine at All Saints, luckily. There was some nonsense with the board but that’s been sorted.”
Yes, thank God. He’d had a call from Mrs. Symes this morning and she’d told him in her no-nonsense way that the board had gotten their heads out of their asses and wouldn’t be pursuing his censure with the diocese.
“Those stick-in-the-mud fuddy duddies wouldn’t know the true meaning of Christianity or love if it smacked them in the face,” she’d said, before adding, “I do think you might need to find a new church secretary since Helen was still hellbent on doing something about you and Plum. I say good riddance, I never liked that bitch.”
But Ian didn’t need to know all of that.
“Starting to get things in order for the interfaith festival, and planning for Easter. Plum though is…”
He shook his head and Ian’s brows creased. “I know the fire’s been rough on her. Is the insurance company giving her a hard time?”
“No. They’re cooperating and she’ll get her money, be able to start again. The paperwork is taking some time because that’s what bureaucracy does.”
“Things not going great with you two living together?”
Gideon followed Ian over to the sitting area even though the other guys were parked around the card table. Hudson and Eric and Jethro looked up and offered waves, perhaps sensing he needed a minute to talk before he could join in. Ryker, never much for words or grand gestures, nodded in their direction.
“No, that’s not it at all. I love having her there. Wish she would stay forever, actually. But she’s still grieving the losses from the fire which is understandable. I think having to look at the mess where the café was everyday is really hard on her. It’s like she knows it’ll get better but I don’t think she can feel it yet. We’ll do a really intense scene and she’ll be better for a couple of days and then she seems to sink back into despondency.”
Ian nodded his understanding. Yes, kink could get a person out of a funk, give them an endorphin rush and that headspace could be a relief but it wasn’t a permanent solution.
“She’s not great at giving herself grace. After the high wears off she’ll be depressed and then she starts to fret that she’s asking too much of me, that I won’t want her anymore if she can’t be the sass pot she was when all this started. I try to be optimistic but there’s only so much I can offer. I can’t single-handedly clear the lot or get her business up and running again.”
Ian took a swig of his own beer and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees looking pensive.
“Of course you can’t. You’re just one guy and besides, when would you have time for that? Your flock’s got you running all over town.”
Gideon gave him a small smile. Ian and Hudson and Ryker had their own flock to look after in a way so the man knew what he was about.
“It’s not like Plum expects that from me and is angry I can’t deliver. I just… I hate seeing her like this. She can be tetchy anyhow, and the brattiness I don’t mind, at all. But the listlessness? And sometimes she just looks so fucking sad. It kills me. A woman like that shouldn’t be sad. Shouldn’t look like she’s lost her luster.”
He stared at the creamy head of his beer, wishing he could find answers there. He felt like he’d looked everywhere else, including praying about it day and night. Asking God to make him the best man and partner he could be for his lovely plum blossom who was in so much pain, and not the kind she enjoyed.
“This probably won’t make you feel any better,” Ian piped up, “but she’s lucky she has you. You’re a good guy and it’s pretty clear you’ve got it bad for her.”
“It’s like we’ve been dancing around this for years and now that I’ve finally gotten to know her better I’m all in.”
“Does she know that?”
Gideon opened his mouth to say of course she did. How could she not? He’d told her as much and that was why she’d left. But had he actually said it in so many words? Recently? Was she afraid she’d asked for so much he’d changed his mind?
“I think so,” he hedged and Ian pulled a face. A face that said,“Really, dude? Really?”
“Look. I don’t know if Plum has faith in God. If she even believes in God. But I do know she has faith in you. Have you seen that girl look at you during a scene? You’re her whole world. But she’s also dealing with a whole lot of grown-up stuff right now and it’s probably extra hard. So how about you don’t make her ask? How about you just give it to her. Big fan of consent right here, but I’m also a big fan of giving your partner what they need even if they can’t manage to ask for it.”
Ian was right.
“So, what are you gonna do about it?” Ian prodded, one of his ginger brows kicking up in challenge.
“I suppose I could start by being a good role model and asking for help. Might you be available to get your hands dirty this weekend? I can’t do Sunday morning for obvious reasons but any other time would be great.”
A grin spread across Ian’s face and then he turned toward the card table.
“Hey Huds, get over here. What are we doing Saturday morning?”