Chapter Thirty
Gunnar enjoyed graduation. He loved seeing his students walk across the stage to receive their diplomas, watch their faces as they moved the tassel from one side of their mortarboards to the other, enjoyed the speeches from the senior class president and the Valedictorian. And he’d be lying if he hadn’t looked forward to celebrating this momentous occasion with Twyla.
Which was why he was so miserable. He was here, and Twyla was here, but they weren’t here together. She wouldn’t even turn around to look at him and it hurt.
She refused to talk to him, and had sent him a text last week asking him to stop trying to contact her. He had, but it had killed him to do it. Made him feel like he was dying from the inside out. Like his heart was black and dead and the rot was going to spread through him until he was only a shell of a man.
The ceremony went by in a blur of green and yellow robes, except for when Twyla took the stage and then everything seemed to come into painfully sharp focus.
He could see every freckle on her face, every single one of which he’d kissed. Her hair was down and glossy, but her face looked drawn and gaunt. Was she not sleeping? Not eating? He itched to ask her, to bring her home and take care of her, spoil her.
But all he could do was watch as she shook hands with Jim York and accepted that hard-earned piece of paper.
She smiled and waved at someone in the audience, and he turned, assuming it would be her mom and stepdad. They were shit parents but they were still her parents. And maybe, just maybe, Twyla leaving had gotten them to clean up their acts. If that was true, he’d be glad for it. Twyla deserved parents who loved her and cared for her and showed up to milestones like graduation. Instead, he found himself staring at Eric and Marni.
Eric and Marni who he’d thought werehisfriends. He was glad they were here for Twyla—unless they just happened to be there for someone else? But neither of them had children, never mind a child who was graduating from the school he’d taught at since knowing them. It was nice that Eric and Marni were here, but…why? And why wouldn’t they have mentioned they’d be here? He could’ve at least saved them better seats.
He turned back to face the stage before they noticed him staring, and tried to focus on what was going on because these kids deserved his full attention. But in the back of his mind, sneaking often to the forefront was the same question that had plagued him for the last week: Why had Twyla left?
Gunnar sat through the rest of the ceremony, clapping at appropriate moments, and using every ounce of control he had not to look at Twyla or Marni and Eric. The tension was off the charts and physically painful. He wouldn’t make a scene, but fucking right he was going to talk to at least one of them before this was over. Had to.
Finally the students tossed their caps into the air and there was one last round of applause before everyone started filing out of the rows of chairs and blocking the aisles with stopping to chat. It was maddening. Didn’t they understand he had something to do that was far more important than talking about Billy’s summer plans or which colleges Kate had been wait-listed at?
When he burst free of the crowd, he looked around the football field and saw Twyla, Marni, and Eric standing together, chatting. Eric hugged Twyla and for a second Gunnar saw red.
Had she left him for Eric? He knew Twyla liked the man, thought he was attractive. But never had he gotten the impression that Twyla preferred Eric to him. And besides, neither Eric nor Twyla were the types of people who would blow him off and start something up in secret.
As hard as it would be, they were both honorable and honest, and they would’ve told him. Their hug didn’t look romantic anyway, just friendly. Which was great but still didn’t answer any of his myriad questions.
He found himself drawn to the small knot of people like a moth to a flame, and couldn’t stop himself from walking toward them. When Marni noticed him striding over, she said something to Twyla and Eric. Eric headed toward him while Marni and Twyla made a break for the parking lot.
Confusion and frustration and yeah, sadness, crashed over him. He’d get over Twyla eventually if she didn’t want him anymore, but knowing why would be a good start. Did he have something to apologize for? He would, even if she didn’t want to get back together.
“Gunnar, hold up man.”
Eric stopped him with a hand to his shoulder.
“What the fuck is going on?” he demanded, not proud of his aggressive tone. “Is Twyla okay? What are you and Marni doing here? Why won’t anyone talk to me?”
Eric grimaced.
“You gotta know this wasn’t my idea. But Twyla came to me, asked for my help, and I gave it to her. I’m just respecting her wishes. She’s fine. She’s staying with Marni. She needs some time, but when she’s ready, she’ll come to you, okay?”
“Why—”
Eric held up his hands and Gunnar raked his hands through his hair while trying to take a deep breath to mellow his frustration. It wasn’t easy with feeling like his skin was being ripped open.
“That’s about all I can tell you. I’m sorry. I know you want to respect Twyla’s privacy. If it makes you feel any better, she still loves you.” The other man shook his head, and he looked stunned. “I mean like, hardcore, deeply loves you. So have some patience and don’t give up on her, but you have to stay away for now.”
It was pretty far from what he wanted to hear with basically no answers, but the assurance that Twyla loved him helped. Whatever else was going on, he could cling to that.