“No, it has nothing to do with me—because you care about him. You, and anything that is yours, are my responsibility to protect.”
“Responsibility,” I whisper, chasing it with a sad laugh.
“Are my honor to protect,” he clarifies without hesitation.
“Thank you,” is all I say. What else can I say to that firm declaration? It brought the heat right back to my cheeks.
“Thank you, Luella.” His eyes linger on me, almost expectantly. “For…” He shakes his head, as if he can’t come up with the words.
“For last night?”
Panic flickers in him. Eldas seems to lean forward, as if drawn to me by the memory of our kiss. I wouldn’t mind if he kissed me again, I finally admit to myself. The thought stirs my own panic and I swallow hard. Seeing it, he instantly pulls away.
“Last night is better left at the bottom of the bottle of mead,” he says finally.
“Is that your way of saying you were drunk?” I ask. Disappointment floods me. I try and erect dams before it can overtake me.
“We both had too much.”
And that’s his way of saying he regrets it. Eldas studies me from the corner of his eye, clearly waiting for my response.
“Right, we did,” I force myself, albeit painfully, to agree. If he wants to back away then I’ll let him. I’m trying to leave anyway.
He has his duties. I have mine. Ignoring last night and anything that might be simmering between us is for the best. We’re only destined for heartache if we continue.
Yet, Eldas seems to deflate some. But he quickly corrects the hunch in his shoulders, no doubt arriving at the same conclusion as me.
Without another word, he departs. I watch him go before taking Hook into our apartments.
For the first time since finding Hook, it feels lonely in the vast landscape of my chambers. For the first time, and despite every last bit of sense telling me not to, I wonder what it would be like to have Eldas stay.