She sighs over her second tart. “Fine, I accept your apology.”
“Thank you.” I glance back at the painting, thinking of the other reason why I came. If there was anything between Eldas and Rinni, then surely he wouldn’t ask her to paint a portrait of me. That’d just be cruel. “Are we friends again?”
“Oh, very well,” she says dramatically. I crack a smile. “I guess we’re friends.”
“Good, because there’s something I want to ask you.”
“Go on, you have five tarts left before my guard is up again.”
“I wanted to talk about Eldas.”
Rinni’s hands freeze. So much for five more tarts. “What about him?”
“Are you and he romantically involved?” I ask directly. Rinni doesn’t look at me and my nerves go wild. “Because, if you are, I understand. Or if you’re not but you have feelings toward him, I would like to know. I’m not going to get in your way.”
“You’re his wife,” she says delicately, still not looking at me.
“Yes, and we’re anything but a normal couple.” I sigh. There’s the ghost of pain in my stomach. It’s trying to stamp out a hope I didn’t know had begun to sprout. “I know the Elf King takes lovers. It only makes sense, really. Our circumstances aren’t conducive to companionship.”
“Luella, I’m not going to get in the way of anything growing between you two.” Rinni looks up with a small smile. “We’re not lovers. And I have no interest in ever being Eldas’s lover.”
“You’re not?” I ask slowly. “But you two seem… There’s…” I fumble over my words as I discover I might have been hoping they were. I might have been looking for a reason to stamp out this frustration that’s begun budding up every time I’m around Eldas. “There’s clearly a connection between you two.”
“There is.” I appreciate Rinni’s lack of denial. “We’ve grown up together. We’re about the same age. And I’m not sure if you know…but the crown prince isn’t allowed to leave the castle while his father is alive. So he never left this castle as a child. Then, he made the choice to continue his seclusion to be coronated alongside you. He just didn’t expect it to take a year…”
I know about Eldas’s choice to stay secluded. “Why can the crown prince not leave while his father is alive?”
“Because there is only ever one Elf King. And it keeps the transition of power—one reign to the next—tidy.”
I’m not sure if I agree with all that. “So he was kept in the castle, alone?”
“Yes…” Rinni briefly frowns. Not even the next tart can shake the expression from her. Even she, as someone who knows the traditions, clearly thinks that holding a young boy captive is a bit extreme. “As you can imagine, he didn’t have a lot of friends.”
“It shows.” The words slip through my lips and I feel a twinge of regret for them.
“Perhaps.” Rinni smiles thinly. “He didn’t have a lot of options for companionship and I was here all the time as my father was his father’s right hand. We became close.” Rinni folds her arms and leans against the back wall. She meets my eyes. “I suppose I should also just tell you that yes, at one point, we did explore a romantic relationship.”
“How long ago?”
Rinni thinks about this a moment. “Three, or four years ago? Looking back, I think he was panicked seeing the last Human Queen nearing the end of her life. More than just being grief-ridden…I believe he felt confined to his role and was rebelling in his own way against the idea of being married off. He was old enough to understand his fate and was losing Alice at the same time.”
I wonder if Eldas sees himself in me. If my rebellion against my fate is stirring up negative thoughts for him, or feelings of hopelessness. Perhaps the mere suggestion that there could be a way out is almost more painful than the acceptance he’s fallen into.
“He looked for comfort where he could find it and I was receptive. I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t spared more than one girlish thought about him and me up to that point. So, we made a clumsy attempt at it for a few months, only two or three, really. And before you ask, we didn’t do much more than kissing. Also, I’m not giving you any more details on our relationship. It’s over and done and he and I do not work together romantically. The colors are dry on that landscape of my life and I have no desire to go back to the canvas.”
“Fair,” I say. “Thank you for your honesty.”
“Of course, I’m in support of you both. Eldas and I are better off as friends and allies. But, if anything, the attempt at being lovers did make us closer. So you’re right in that there is a bond. There’s no other man I’d rather serve in brush or sword, or any other way…except for the bedroom.”
I let out a laugh. But the levity is cut with the lingering thoughts of Eldas struggling against his fate. I’m imagining him young, and awkward. My smile fades with a sigh.
“Rinni, I know I’ve asked a lot of you today. But may I ask your help with something?”
“It’ll take more tarts.”
“Done.” I chuckle and continue, “I want to get to know Eldas better.” I think of what Rinni said in the throne room about Eldas not making an attempt to get to know me. But, in fairness, that goes both ways. “I’d like to have dinner with him.”
I’d like to sit at his private table.