Chapter 20
Eldas deliversme to my room. Wordlessly, he summons a fire from nothing to crackle over the andirons in the hearth. I sit before it on the bare floor. A blanket is placed gently over my trembling shoulders. He murmurs that I will be safe.
He disappears and returns once more, this time with Hook cradled in his arms. Eldas lays the wolf at my feet. Hook whimpers and his usually bright eyes are distant and glassy. But he responds with a soft huff as I reach for his head.
I look back to thank Eldas for bringing me Hook, for ensuring my wolf’s safety, but he is gone. And I am alone with the wretched sound of a body twisting too far echoing in my ears.
Eldas. Civil, brutal, cold, hot, capable of kindness, but all too easily can reach for cruelty. He had called Midscape a harsh place when I overheard him with Rinni. I didn’t fully grasp it then.
This…this isn’t my world, I remind myself time and again. The rules I’ve always known don’t apply here. I was foolish to think those rules were just related to magic and the people who wielded it.
But it’s not just magic. Everything is different.
How could I possibly ever fit in here?
The sun has tracked farther across the sky when the Elf King returns. He doesn’t Fadewalk into my room. This time, he uses the door.
Eldas hovers just inside, waiting for something. I can’t even look at him. I don’t know what I’ll see. Will it be a killer? Will it be the man whose caress lights my flesh?
My hands are buried in Hook’s fur for strength. I press my eyes closed and take a shuddering breath. All I see is the face of a man—a fae—who was killed…killed by Eldas…
I stare at the fire, trying to burn the memories away. I don’t want to face this truth. I can’t handle things becoming any more complicated. The weight of Eldas suddenly appearing next to me jostles me from my trance. It isn’t until his arm timidly wraps around me that I even realize I’m still shivering. I lean into him despite myself. Part of me thinks I should fear him. The other part needs him and every bit of stability he can offer.
As if sensing this need, Hook warily raises his head, resting it heavily on my knee.
“I wanted to protect you,” he says quietly, finally. I jump at the sudden break in the silence I’ve been smothered in all afternoon. “That was why I told you to stay in the castle.” I can hear his voice wavering, as if he’s fighting with his own temper. But, for the first time since I’ve known him, he fights and wins. “Regardless of why it happened, I am sorry you had to endure that.”
“You’re right,” I whisper, continuing to stare at the fire. “I should have listened. I should have stayed in the castle. I just wanted to have a moment of freedom, something that was my own. But if I had done what you asked, then that man would still be alive. Because of me—”
“No,” Eldas says firmly, not allowing me to finish the thought. His touch is gentle in contrast to the word as his free hand rests on my chin—his soft caress replacing the memory of the blade held to my throat as he guides my face to look at him. “This was not your fault. I understand, Luella. Even if I wish you had heeded my warnings and not left. I understand wanting to escape this place.” I see desire and longing shining in the waters of a deep sorrow in his eyes. “That man died because he tried to attack the Human Queen.”
“Why, though? Why would he attack me?” I grab Eldas’s shirt gently, as if clinging to an answer that’s likely not there. “I don’t want to hurt people. I brought spring!”
“Not everyone loves the Human Queen,” Eldas says solemnly.
“But—”
“Some see her—you—as an out-of-date notion. Some wish to be rejoined with the Natural World and conquer humanity.” I shiver and Eldas pulls me closer. I allow him to. Killer and protector, the two words circle in my head as my side is pressed flush against his. The motion seems to have been subconscious, because, for a moment, he’s as startled as I am by it. Clearing his throat, Eldas regains his focus. “Others have already sensed the line of Human Queens is fading. Each queen is weaker than the last.”
“My power really is weaker?” It always felt quite strong to me. Despite myself, Luke’s words about the Keepers even knowing the power of the queen was fading returns to me.
“You might find it hard to believe,” he admits, as if reading my mind, “but it is. Think of how the throne ravaged you the first time you sat on it. Moreover, nature in Midscape is not as stable as it once was and that is creating hardships as food becomes scarcer, and viable land is more prized than ever.”
I duck my head. “And they blame the Human Queen for the land’s plight.”
“They don’t understand the queen does all she can.”
I shake my head. “We must find a way to break the cycle.”
“I know.” Eldas shifts. He now wears a hardened but not closed off expression. He’s resolute, everything I would expect of a king. His eyes are heavy as he stares into the flames. I wonder what he sees in the dancing light. “We must for our world, and for future kings and queens. I fear you might be the last queen. But even if none of that were true, no one should have to endure what you have…what you will continue to endure. And no other king should—” He stops himself short.
“Should what?”
“Should have to see their queen with a knife to her throat.” His gaze turns to me. It’s filled with an emotion I don’t dare name—an expression trapped hopelessly between desperation and desire.
My breath catches in my throat. “Were you…worried about me?”
He laughs airily. Our faces are close enough that his amused huffs wash over my cheeks and tease my hair.