“Aria was helping them infiltrate her uncle’s court. That was how they could sneak in with the dignitaries but without the Fae King being aware. I can’t believe I allowed her into my home.” Eldas directs his frustration inward. He doesn’t even seem to be speaking to me.
“What did you do with Aria?” I have to ask. I might not entirely want to know, but I need to know.
“She will be locked up and the key misplaced for a while,” Eldas says, finally. “I might have wanted to kill her then and there. But she’s still the Fae King’s niece; he should be the one to decide her fate. Allowing him to will be a display of good will and will show me if he is serious about our kingdoms’ relationship or not.”
I grimace at the idea of having to pass judgment on a family member—on someone I love.
“And the rest of the group?”
“Those I could hunt down faced my justice.” There’s not a hint of remorse in his voice. Dead, then. I swallow thickly and try not to judge Eldas for what he must do as king. “Hopefully this long-planned plot of theirs being thwarted will push them back for a while. Then, when we end the cycle, that will really put an end to their claims of elf favoritism from the Human Queen and the land dying. What we’re doing will help everyone…even if they don’t know it yet.”
“Speaking of, I think I know how to do it—break the cycle,” I say. He arches his eyebrows. “I think the solution is simpler than we could’ve imagined. It’s a matter of restoring balance between Midscape and the Natural World—like the queen’s garden.” I can see the solution begin to light up Eldas’s eyes as I speak. “I think with something like the fae’s ritumancy, we can assemble the necessary requisites to find equilibrium. Which can make sense—the Human Queen’s magic is more like the fae’s than the elves’…likely because the fae are closer to the dryads and all that.” I believe my logic checks out, since the fae were descended from dryads and the dryads later made the humans, but it’s been a while since Willow and I discussed the history of Midscape.
“Good.” Yet he contradicts his word with a shake of his head as he stands.
“You don’t seem happy.” I watch as he faces the crackling fire in the hearth behind his chair.
“Of course I am not happy,” he murmurs darkly.
My chest tightens. I expected him to be angry. But I didn’t expect how painful it would be. “Eldas, I—”
“My brother could’ve been hurt. You could’ve been hurt.” He looks over his shoulder.
“I didn’t know the extent of the situation, not really. I just thought your brother was in a tough spot. I didn’t think about the politics that might be involved.” I slowly rise to my feet, allowing the world to spin and settle. My magic and body are both exhausted.
“It’s for the best,” he murmurs.
“What is?”
Eldas turns and his expression is unrecognizable. I haven’t seen those frigid eyes since our wedding. “That you’ll be leaving soon.”
“Do you mean that?” I whisper.
“Of course I do. It’s what you wanted, isn’t it? You have an idea and based on what I’ve read of that journal, you’re not far off.” Eldas stares down at me. “You’ll no longer be needed here and you can go—be free of me. No king will ever have to suffer with a Human Queen again.”
“Stop this,” I whisper. Every word is like a physical wound, cutting me deeper than I thought possible. I’m shocked the floor isn’t bloody. “I know you’re upset and…you have a reason to be cross with me. But Eldas, I—”
“What do you feel for me?” He turns to face me as he turns my question back on me. I lean against the chair for stability. Otherwise I may be bowled over by his stare.
“You never answered that either,” I remind him weakly.
“If you asked, then you may have some kind of idea of what I might feel.” Eldas gathers his height. “But I want to know about you, Luella. What do you feel for me? Do you love me?”
Every pore, every raw part of my essence screams, yes! But my lips don’t move. They quiver silently and my eyes burn. Yes, say yes, Luella. But if I say yes now…I will always doubt myself.
“Tell me, Luella, do you love me?” His voice takes on an almost begging note.
I press my lips harder together, fighting every instinct. My mind is at war with my heart. My better sense of duty to Capton and Midscape against an impulsive streak these feelings have brought out in me. Silence is the best thing for us, even if he doesn’t see it now.
“Tell me now or I will wash my hands of you for good.”
How can I make him understand?“Eldas, I—”
“Yes or no, do you love me?” His voice raises a fraction.
I watch as he shatters under my silence and hesitation.
“No. Of course not. Who could?” He chuckles sadly and shakes his head. “I already suspected you didn’t, given the secrets you chose to keep.”
“Eldas, it’s not that simple.”
“But it is.” He skewers me with a look and I can’t breathe. “It’s a simple question, with a simple answer. Your actions and everything you can’t say have told me all I need to know.”
“I wanted to—our situation is—we can’t be certain—I have to go to know—” It’s impossible for me to form a cohesive sentence. The world is rumbling under my feet. I hear the groans and stress fractures spiderwebbing out around me. Make him understand, I have to make him understand. But when I need words most, they all fail me, even the frantic kind. “Eldas—”
He shuts the door behind him. The soft click of the latch engaging strikes me like a drum. I sway and then rush to the door and yank it open. But I already know what awaits me—an empty hall.
He’s gone.