***Reagan***
Mystomachturned.I was so hot and sticky. I tried to stretch out, but I was trapped. Another roll of my stomach and my eyes flew open. I was going to be sick. The first thing I saw was a lot of naked chest. I didn’t pay it any mind as I crawled out from between two sweaty bodies and slipped to the sticky carpet beside the bed. I gagged and barreled across the room to the only other door, praying it’d be a bathroom.
In the end, I made it to the toilet, but I wasn’t sure if I got sick because of the hangover I clearly had or the sight of the toilet. It only took me standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom for everything to come crashing back into my brain. I was naked, mussed, and I looked like I’d been fucked thoroughly by three beefcakes.
I barely contained a scream as I stuck my head out of the bathroom and saw that August, Theo, and Charlie were all still passed out in bed. I slapped my hand over my mouth and thumped my head against the doorframe. I’d done it. I’d really just plowed into town and slept with my brother’s three best friends on my second night there. What had been my three little mistakes from when I was eighteen had just been repeated in a glorious fashion at an age that I couldn’t claim ignorance at.
Panic struck me all at once, washing over me like a shower of broken glass. I had to get out of there. I had no clue what time it was, no idea where my phone was, and no fucking thought of how I was getting back to Russ’, but I just knew I had to be there before he noticed I was missing.
With a pounding head, a turning stomach, and muscle aches that I silently cursed, I crept into the room and tried to find my dress and underwear. I found something that ended up being a dress shirt, but when Charlie rolled over on the bed and sighed, I decided I was wasting no more time. I yanked on the shirt, did up the buttons as best I could, and fumbled around for my shoes. Without bothering to put them on, I silently slipped out of the motel room and looked around.
The first thing I noticed was that the sun was just starting to crest over the mountains in the far distance, which meant I had time to make it home, if I ran. The second thing I noticed was Pearl Beerman watching me from a metal chair three doors down.
I stared at her with wide eyes and took a deep breath. Pearl was the biggest gossip that side of the Mississippi. She would no doubt she the guys come out of the room later and put two and two together. I considered my options and finally decided that I’d deal with Pearl when I wasn’t staring down the barrel of time.
I gave her a weak smile and a little wave before shoving my feet into my heels. “Good morning for a run!”
Before she could open her mouth, I was already sprinting away from the motel. Thankfully, I knew Lunar like the back of my hand from running around so much as a kid. I could avoid the main strip through town, which was more likely to have me spotted on my walk of shame. I nearly broke my ankle more than once, but the thought of Russ finding out about my night gave me the willpower to push through it. I probably could’ve run with a missing leg to keep my secret.
I considered my life choices as I dodged someone’s fallen trash can and nearly took out a cat. After whispering an apology to the offended feline, I made sure to stay on the lookout for more pets. My brain felt like it was squeezing inside my skull, even as my stomach did cartwheels, so my thoughts didn’t get very far, but I still had the wherewithal to be disgusted with myself.
The sun was really doing its thing by the time I could see Russ’ house. It was bright enough to hurt and warming up fast. I glanced up as I stepped into the yard and saw Russ in the upstairs window. He looked like he was moving towards the stairs. Panicking, I tried to jump over the fence into the backyard and ended up body slamming it. The sound was sure to draw Russ’ attention, so I crawled the rest of the way to the basement door at the back of the house and thanked all the stars in the sky that I’d left it unlocked.
Pushing the door shut behind me, I kicked off my shoes and ripped off the shirt I was wearing, taking a second to jump into pajama bottoms and drag a T-shirt over my head before diving under my covers just as Russ opened the door at the top of the stairs.
“Reagan? Was that you?”
I tried to catch my breath and sound like I was just waking up. “Huh?”
“There was a loud thud. Was that you?”
“Oh, uh, yeah. I fell out of bed.” I winced and tugged at my hair. “I’m okay.”
“Still drunk, huh?” He sounded a little unsteady himself as he chuckled.
“Oh, yeah. Those Lunar Eclipses are no joke.” I leaned over the side of the bed and grabbed the shirt I’d ripped off. I couldn’t tell whose it was by looking at it, but with one inhale, I knew it was Charlie’s. My stupid body clenched at the scent of him. Shoving the shirt under my pillow, I stared at the basement ceiling and chewed on my lip. “I think I’m going to sleep for a few more hours.”
“Don’t forget you’re meeting the Stovalls tonight.”
I shoved my balled fists into my eyes and quietly said every swear word I knew. “I remember. Thanks, Russ.”
“Feel better, little sis.”
Guilt washed over me and I rolled over to bury my face in my pillow. I wasn’t just a terrible sister, I was the worst. Sleeping with Russ’ friends was wrong. He’d nearly lost his mind when the rumor spread the decade prior. The saving grace for him had been his friends’ willingness to lie to him.
The ugly memories fought to free themselves from the box I kept them in, but I refused. I didn’t want to go there. I could feel bad about myself plenty without adding anything else.
The night with the guys had just been a mistake. A drunken mistake. No one would have to know. It would be fine and I’d start my life over in Lunar without any huge secret hanging over my head, like nothing ever happened.
Even as I tried to convince myself that I could pull it off, I flopped over in bed and felt sore in places that reminded me of exactly what I’d done the night before.
Shame scorched my face as I reached under my pants and delicately touched myself, explicit images of the night before turning my anguish into something needier. I stroked my fingers through my lower lips and immediately sat straight up, a wave of shock washing over me. The anguish came slamming back as I realized without a single doubt that there had been no condoms used the night before.
How had I been dumber at twenty-eight than I’d been at eighteen? I stumbled out of bed and searched around for my purse. The need to take my daily birth control pill was overwhelming. Only after I found it and dry swallowed the pill did I start to calm down again.
Grabbing my robe, I hurried upstairs. Sleep and feeling bad for myself would have to wait. I knew I wasn’t going to breathe normally again until there wasn’t come inside of me. I had to stop halfway up the stairs to silently scream. What a mess I was. If it wasn’t me, I might’ve been able to find it amusing. As it was, I was going to spend at least an hour scrubbing at my skin, until some of the guilt started to fade.