“Asher. Oh my God, are you okay?” Her hands cradled my face as she looked over my body.
“I’m just. . .I need. . .I just need a couple of minutes. I’ll be back.” I left the ziti on a trivet on the counter and moved passed Addison toward the basement door. I wasn’t sure where I was headed, but I knew I needed to keep my distance from her.
I had too many emotions flowing through me and I was afraid of hurting her by saying something I’d regret later. She didn’t deserve that from me.
I wandered around the basement and found myself in my music room. It seemed ironic that this was where I ended up. It contained everything I’d worked for and everything I could lose.
My favorite guitar hung out in the corner with one of my gold records framed above it. I grabbed the neck of the guitar and plugged it into the amp and just started playing. I needed to get lost in something that wasn’t my own head and music gave me that solace.
Closing my eyes, I just let the melody come. I played Edge of Black originals, classic rock songs, and a few country songs I’d picked up along the way. My fingers cramped and ached, but I fought through it all. My subconscious was yelling at me to stop, but I needed to know that I still had this part of me. That through everything, I wouldn’t lose the music.
Slowly I finished the chords I’d written earlier that day and eased the guitar out of my tight grasp, placing it back on its stand. I was going to need some pain reliever if I wanted to use my hands tomorrow. Working through the cramps wasn’t always the best way to deal with the symptoms.
The doctor’s list mentioned a few different treatment options, like Botox and creams. And after the call with Jason, I was willing to try anything. Just thinking about it reminded me that I needed to come clean to my brothers. We were each other’s family and it wasn’t fair to them that I was keeping this part of me a secret. I was no better than Tommy when he hid his drug addiction.
“How are you feeling?” A gentle voice called out from the entrance. She’d slipped inside the room at some point, but I’d been too engrossed in the music.
“I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. I’m assuming the call didn’t have the best news.”
“It was my manager. He says I need to come clean to the rest of the band before Saturday. We have to give him a game plan for moving forward, with or without me.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
“Fuck, I don’t know,” I explained as I dashed my hand through my hair in frustration. “I am willing to try anything to keep the band the way it is. If the doc thinks it will help, I’ll do it. I don’t want to walk away yet, but if that’s what they want, I’ll do it.”
“Then that’s what you tell them.”
Addison walked toward me, a gentle sway in her hips as she approached. “What?”
“That’s what you tell your bandmates. Explain it all like you just explained it to me. Lay all your cards on the table. They’ll understand, Asher. They love you.”
“Yeah, you’re right. That’s what I’ll have to do.” Tugging at her hair, I added, “When did you get so smart?”
“Well, I have an idea to take your mind off of it. If you’re up for it, that is.”
I took a step closer to her, our bodies almost touching and placed my hands on her hips.
“Depends what it is.”
“It’s a surprise. Game?”
“Ab-so-fucking-lutely,” I replied as I bent down and kissed her mouth with an uncontrollable desire.
Addison grabbed one of my hands and pulled me out of the room and through the exterior door. She was headed to the outdoor shower and all of my worries were immediately forgotten.
“This is delicious, Asher.”
We’d spent a good hour using the outside shower to reenact Addison’s initial visit to my cabin. Only this time, instead of scaring her off, he pulled her into the steamy room and fucked her senseless.
That was definitely how he should have greeted her in the first place.
“Thanks. I found the recipe online.”
Luckily the ziti stayed warm in the baking dish and we didn’t need to reheat it.
“I don’t want to bug you, but when do you want to call the band? I can make myself scarce.”